


Whisper in the Wind

by Jacie



Category: NCIS
Genre: Abduction, Abuse, Alternate Reality, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Horseback Riding, Horses, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, M/M, NCIS Reverse Bang Challenge, Rescue, Storm - Freeform, Teamwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 00:28:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 64,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14556921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacie/pseuds/Jacie
Summary: When Gibbs and McGee are held captive in Paraguay, Vance recalls Tony from his assignment in Rota, Spain to search for them. Once they are rescued, Vance assigns Tony to accompany the pair to a therapy retreat ranch in Colorado recommended by Dr. Grace Confalone.





	1. This Bird Has Flown

**Author's Note:**

> **Notes:** Alternate version of events. Tali doesn’t exist. When Tony left Gibbs’ team, he was promoted to team leader in Rota, Spain. This version does not follow the series events exactly.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** Don’t know them. It’s not true. I made it all up.
> 
>  **Spoilers:** S14 E24, S15 E1 mostly, but there are references regarding the series up to that point as well (i.e. Delilah’s pregnancy is mentioned, etc.)
> 
>  **Warnings:** Contains some violence and physical abuse.
> 
>  **Pairings:** Eventual Tony/Gibbs. Tim is married to Delilah, minor Gibbs/Tim.
> 
>  **Acknowledgements:** A huge thank you and many hugs for **Rose_Malmaison** for her gorgeous artwork and also for beta duties on this beast. Her input truly improved this story. As usual, I've tinkered with it, added to it, edited it, etc. since she's seen it. Any remaining mistakes are on me. 
> 
> **The Challenge:** This story is part of the 2018 NCIS Reverse Bang challenge, hosted at the ncis_bang community on Live Journal.
> 
>  **The _Monk_ connection:** I was a fan of _Monk_ when it originally aired. I was watching it in reruns as I began writing this story. I decided I liked using the name Dr. Kroger for the psychologist Gibbs and Tim would work with at the ranch. So, that is definitely a nod to _Monk_. I also gave him the first name of "Stan" as a nod to the actor who played Dr. Kroger on _Monk_. Although, the Dr. Kroger in this story is a different character altogether, different appearance, etc. 
> 
> **Terms:**  
>  **Exfil:** In military tactics, exfil (aka exfiltration or extraction) is the process of removing personnel when it is considered imperative that they be immediately relocated out of a hostile environment and taken to a secure area.  
>  **RAC:** Revolutionary Armed Council (bad guys in Paraguay)
> 
>  **Spanish:**  
>  _(Spanish mostly by online translator – my apologies for any errors)_  
>  **De nada:** “You’re welcome”  
>  **Por favor:** “Please”  
>  **Por favor deje de:** “Please stop”  
>  **Sí:** “Yes”  
>  **Silencio:** “Silence”  
>  **Tú comes, bebes:** “You eat, you drink”
> 
>  
> 
>   
> 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Gibbs and Tim are captured, held and tortured in Paraguay._

In hindsight, it may have been the stupidest thing Tim McGee had ever done. He was in a perfectly good helicopter, and he jumped out while they were under fire. 

Gibbs, flanked by McGee and Torres, had agreed to assist a Navy SEAL in rescuing three young boys from a terrorist group called the Revolutionary Armed Council, known in the area as the RAC. The Navy SEAL, Matthew Dean, had located the group in southern Paraguay and had tried to rescue the boys, with the help of another member of his SEAL team. They’d been spotted and attacked. Dean lost his hand. His buddy, Charlie Hudson, lost his life. 

Backed by Gibbs, McGee and Torres, Dean made another attempt to rescue the boys from the rebel group. Their plan was set. A helicopter was engaged to pull off an emergency extraction when signaled. The team was already committed when additional terrorists arrived back at their camp early. It was too late for Gibbs and his team to abort their mission. They knew they weren’t going to get another chance, so they just had to roll with it. Explosives were set to take out two vehicles as a distraction, while Dean and Torres led the boys away from the camp.

Dean had hustled the boys toward the rendezvous point where the helicopter was sent to pick them up, while Torres, McGee and Gibbs provided cover. Torres made it to the helicopter right behind Dean and helped two of the boys inside. When the last boy fell as he raced toward the chopper, Tim grabbed his arm, lifting him back to his feet while Torres provided cover for them.

Gibbs was too far away. 

“We have to go!” warned the pilot.

“Wait!” demanded Torres. “Please wait. He’ll be here in a minute.”

But Gibbs never made any effort to get to the helicopter. He signaled for them to take off as the terrorists were closing in on him. He kept firing the semi-automatic rifle until the ammunition ran out, then he tossed it aside and changed to his sidearm.

“Come on, Gibbs!” Torres yelled. “Let’s go! Come on!”

“We have to leave now, sir,” called the pilot. As the first shots hit the helicopter, he started lifting off, hoping they weren’t too late to get out of there alive.

Gunfire continued to ricochet off the chopper in rapid fire as it lifted off. Torres was shooting his semi-automatic rifle at the members of the RAC. Tim was beside him one moment and jumping out of the helicopter the next. They weren’t far from the ground when Tim leapt, about seven feet and rising. He’d dropped to his knees, but quickly recovered and started running towards Gibbs.

“Tim!” Torres yelled. 

“You got them,” Tim shouted back. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

“I’ve got Gibbs’ six.” 

“Get back here!”

But it was already too late. Gibbs and Tim were shrinking quickly as the helicopter rose up into the air.

Torres immediately moved next to the pilot. “Go back, now! We have men on the ground.”

“That’s a negative.”

“We need to go back. We can’t leave them behind. They’re in danger! Serious danger!”

“Copy that. But we don’t have the fuel.”

Torres aimed his handgun at the pilot’s head. “I’m giving you an order.”

The pilot was unmoved. “I do not take orders from you, sir.”

Torres cocked his weapon. “I’m not going to tell you again. Turn this bird around.”

“That’s a negative. Look, I understand. But we do not have the fuel. We were taking heavy fire. We all just risked our lives to save those boys. If you shoot me, we’re all going to die. Did you risk your life to save those kids just so they could die in a helicopter crash?”

Torres stood firm for a minute as the helicopter flew further and further away from where they’d left Gibbs and McGee behind. Then he finally holstered his weapon. 

Nobody said it, but they were all thinking that Gibbs and McGee were most likely already dead by then. Torres glanced back at the boys. At least they had rescued them from the RAC. This time.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

On the ground, Tim made his way over to Gibbs until they were only standing two or three feet apart. It was reminiscent of Custer’s last stand. They were causing some damage, but were terribly outnumbered. The pair kept firing until their ammunition ran out.

Once their ammunition was depleted, Tim immediately dropped to his knees and raised his hands. Gibbs gave a loud battle cry as he ran headlong toward the terrorist members. The group’s leader shouted in Spanish for his men to stop shooting because the gringos were out of ammo. His next order was to take the men alive.

Gibbs fought and struggled against his attackers, while Tim gave up easily. He had a pregnant wife back home to think about. Tim’s wrists were tied in front of him and he was then led toward the leader. He watched as several men attacked Gibbs, and held him down. A burlap sack was placed over Gibbs’ head and a rope wrapped around his neck and pulled tight.

“No, stop! Please stop!” Tim yelled. “You’re killing him! You’re killing him! We’re Federal Agents. American. We’re worth a lot if you keep us safe.”

It was a lie of sorts. He knew the government wouldn’t bargain with terrorists for their release. His goal at the moment was to keep Gibbs alive. They could plan an escape later. He could hear his boss struggling to breathe and was afraid the terrorists would choke him to death.

“Please stop!”

“You killed many of my men,” the leader said calmly in a thick Mexican accent. Indicating Gibbs, he continued, “He is a fighter, and would like to fight to the end. So we will let him fight. Sí?”

Tim watched as Gibbs was pummeled by two of the terrorists, while another continued choking him with the rope.

“Please stop,” Tim repeated, more quietly. He wanted to run and help Gibbs, but another member of the terrorist group was firmly gripping his arm.

The RAC leader smoked a cigar and rambled on in Spanish at his men. After a few more minutes, he motioned to his men and gave orders. A burlap sack was placed over Tim’s head and he was hustled toward an old, rusted vehicle. They forced him onto his stomach in the back of the pickup truck, and he felt feet stepping on him as the terrorists took the seats at the sides of the truck bed. Hands rifled through his pockets, flipping him over as they grabbed his passport and wallet. Soon, he felt a warm body beside him.

“Gibbs?” he muttered quietly. “Are you okay?”

There was no response. Tim was kicked hard in the back. One of his captors yelled “Silencio!” at him, so he decided it was best to remain quiet for a while. A tarp was placed over him, shading him slightly from the direct sunlight. His only comfort was that the body beside him was warm and breathing. Gibbs was still alive.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Hours went by before the rumbling vehicle stopped. Tim had fallen asleep, but was roughly grabbed by his arms and forced out the back of the truck, where he fell heavily to the ground. With his wrists still bound, he had trouble breaking his fall, and landed on hard-packed dirt that was peppered with gravel here and there.

Shaking his head failed to dislodge the burlap hood, so he was still unable to see anything. He could hear the footsteps of the terrorist group exiting the various vehicles, and a lot of Spanish bandied about. A moment later, Gibbs landed beside him, then they were both lifted to their feet and pushed down a dirt path. After a short distance, they were forced to walk a narrow wooden plank. The motion as they walked across it made Tim nervous, but he didn’t feel he had a chance to get away.

“How about a bathroom break?” Tim asked. “Please? It’s been hours.”

After a brief discussion in Spanish by their captors, Tim and Gibbs were hustled back down the wooden plank and escorted to an area of trees.

“You go,” ordered one of the captors.

“My hands are tied,” Tim complained.

“They are in front. You go now or board the ship.”

Tim and Gibbs both fumbled with their zippers and urinated. As soon as Gibbs zipped his pants up, he tried to break free, but was quickly grabbed and forced back toward the plank. On board the ship, the pair were hustled through the corridors, down ladders, and finally shoved into a small room. The burlap sacks were roughly removed, allowing them to breathe more easily. The captors closed and locked the door when they left.

The room was small and dim. Tim maneuvered so he was sitting with his back against a wall and he looked over Gibbs’ wounds. He was bruised and bleeding, but not too badly. His neck was red from when one of the captors had pulled a rope tight and choked him.

“I can ask them for first aid supplies. Get you cleaned up,” Tim offered.

Fire raged in Gibbs’ eyes. “What the hell were you thinking?” he asked angrily as he tested the ropes that bound his wrists.

Tim was taken aback at Gibbs’ ire. “What?”

“I said, what the hell were you thinking?”

“I heard you,” admitted Tim.

“You made it to the chopper. You were safe. Why did you come back?”

“I couldn’t leave you behind.”

“You have a wife at home. A pregnant wife.”

Tim sighed heavily and allowed his head to drop. “I know,” he said softly. “I just couldn’t leave you behind. Alone. Why didn’t you come to the helicopter?”

Gibbs shook his head. “There were too many of them. I wanted to give you all a chance to get away.”

“You could have been killed.”

“That was a definite possibility,” said Gibbs as he twisted his wrists against the ropes again. “I’d say our chances are not good.”

“Chances?”

“Of getting out of here alive.”

“Do you understand what they’re saying, the Spanish?” Tim asked.

“Some.”

Gibbs leaned his head back against the wall opposite Tim, and the pair fell silent. Each man sat lost in his thoughts for a couple hours before Tim’s stomach growled.

“Do you think they’re going to feed us?” he asked.

Gibbs shook his head again. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

Several more hours went by before the door opened slowly and a single plate was placed on the floor just inside the door. The captor nudged it into their room with the toe of his military-style boot. A tin mug was placed beside it. “Tú comes, bebes,” he said.

After the door was closed and locked, Tim got his to his feet and went to inspect the offerings. “What did he say?”

“Tú comes, bebes. That means, ‘you eat, drink’.”

Tim’s heart sank when he saw what was on the plate. “Chicken bones and a few beans. It’s the crap leftover from someone else’s meal.”

“Eat it.”

“What? It’s not food; it’s trash.”

“You’re not going to get anything better,” said Gibbs. “This is it. Crumbs from whatever they leave on their plates. Eat. You need your strength.”

“What about you?”

“You have a wife back home. You need to survive. I don’t.”

It all hit Tim hard. The seriousness of their situation; the stupidity of jumping out of the helicopter that would have flown him to safety; and the fact that Gibbs had apparently resigned himself to die. Tears welled in Tim’s eyes, then ran in trickles down his cheeks. “Boss?” he whispered.

“Eat, Tim. That’s an order.”

Tim’s stomach growled again. With his wrists still bound, he reached for one of the bones and lifted it to inspect it. There wasn’t much meat left on the bones, just scraps. It turned his stomach to think about eating it, but he was quite hungry. Gibbs was probably right that they weren’t going to get anything better.

Tim nibbled away at the scant bits of meat he found. Holding out a bone, he offered it to Gibbs, who just shook his head and looked away. Tim’s stomach twisted, thinking he should be stronger, like Gibbs.

“Boss,” he whispered. “You have to eat something, too. Please.”

Gibbs took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly as he shook his head.

“Please, Boss. I can’t do this alone. We have to work together. We’re a team. We have to work together and stay alive. Both of us need to survive this. I need you.”

Gibbs grudgingly moved over to the plate and dragged his finger through some of the refried beans, then he slowly sucked the food from his finger. Tim took some beans, too, and offered Gibbs one of the chicken bones. After eating, they took turns sipping water from the tin cup.

“Not exactly a five-star restaurant,” Tim joked.

Gibbs was not amused.

They left the empty plate and cup near the door and once again settled into their spots; backs against opposite walls as they faced each other, their feet nearly touching toe to toe.

“I guess you could teach me some Spanish,” Tim said. “We appear to have plenty of time.”

Gibbs checked his wrist, then huffed indignantly. Their watches had been taken, so they had no way of telling how much time had passed. He got up and studied the door a couple times, but it didn’t open when he pulled on it and didn’t give when he pushed against it. After a few minutes, he gave up and sat back down.

Then they sat. And sat. Tim offered again to assist Gibbs with patching up his wounds, but Gibbs waved him off each time.

They each drifted off, then awoke to find themselves still trapped in the tiny, dimly lit room, with their wrists bound. 

Hours later, two armed men came to the door, yelling at them in Spanish. From their hand gestures, it was apparent that they wanted their captives to get up and go with them. Tim struggled to his feet, while Gibbs remained sitting. One of the men slammed his gun butt against Gibbs’ face before grasping his arm and jerking him to his feet. Tim glanced back long enough to see blood trickling from Gibbs’ lip.

“You could talk to them, ask them where they’re taking us,” said Tim.

“McGee, shut up.”

They were taken to another room, where the rope around Tim’s wrists was hooked and lifted so his arms were above his head. Gibbs was forced onto his knees, then beaten.

“Stop!” yelled Tim. “Please, stop! Gibbs, tell them to stop it!”

It didn’t matter how much Tim protested. The men continued to pummel Gibbs and Gibbs remained silent. After a few minutes, a couple of the men attacked Tim, punching him in the stomach. Then the pair was returned to their tiny room and locked back inside.

That was their routine. They were given an old, banged up metal pail to piss in, which they left near the door when full. A couple times a day, the door opened and a plate of scraps was shoved through, along with a tin cup of water.

Gibbs never complained about the lack of food and water, or being beaten. Tim tried to hold it in, knowing Gibbs was well aware of their current state, and likely neither wanted to hear about it, nor discuss it.

The lack of food left them weak. Eventually, Gibbs was able to work his wrists loose and untied Tim’s rope as well. The guards didn’t seem to mind, but they did grab the ropes and removed them from the room. 

That day, when Tim and Gibbs were taken to the other room, one of the terrorists placed a piece of rope around Gibbs’ neck and pulled it tight until he couldn’t breathe. His hands clawed at the thick cord and eventually, he elbowed the man in his stomach, which caused him to loosen his grip. Gibbs’ hands scrabbled at his neck, grasping the rope and tossing it aside as he gasped for air. He and the terrorist he’d grappled with glared at each other for a few moments as they caught their breath.

When they were returned to their tiny room, Tim broke down and wept. “I can’t take it. I can’t stand watching them beat you like they do.”

Gibbs ran his hand over the gray scruff on his cheeks and chin. “I’m fine, Tim.”

“I’m afraid they’re going to kill you.”

“It’s pretty obvious whoever is calling the shots has ordered them to keep us alive.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because we’re not dead,” said Gibbs simply.

“Not yet. We barely get any food or water. We’re losing so much weight. And that man nearly strangled you to death today.”

“He wasn’t going to kill me.”

“Oh yeah? It looked to me like he came pretty close.”

“It was controlled. He was just trying to scare me. I’m fine.”

“What happens if he loses control? Why are they keeping us alive? How long are they going to hold us? I just can’t take it anymore. I can’t,” Tim said as he wiped tears from his cheeks.

Gibbs waved him over, then wrapped an arm around Tim’s shoulders. “I don’t have the answers. I still don’t know why you jumped out of the helicopter.”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want you to face the danger alone. I wanted to have your six. Maybe because I thought it’s what Tony would have done.”

For the first time since they were abducted, Gibbs smiled. “Yeah, Tony would have jumped out to come to my rescue. He’d have my six. Always.” 

“I wouldn’t have been surprised if Torres had jumped. Action is his game. I’m sure he was riled up that the pilot wouldn’t circle back for us. I’m sure he tried his best to convince the pilot to return for us.”

“Yeah, probably,” Gibbs agreed. 

“I just wanted to be there for you. You’ve always been there for me.”

“You have more to think about.”

“I know. Delilah. I can’t believe I put her in this position, especially while she’s pregnant. I worry so much about her. She probably thinks I’m dead; that we’re both dead. It can’t be easy for her.”

“No, it can’t be. Torres told me about what you did at the trailer.”

“What’s that?” asked Tim.

“He said he offered to go in first, but you wouldn’t let him.”

“It’s not fair for me to always stand back. We all have the same job. I know my job puts me in danger, but that’s what I signed up for. Delilah is DOD. She understands.”

“You have more to live for.”

“It doesn’t mean my life is more valuable than yours, or Torres’ or Reeves’ or Bishop’s. If I’m going to stay with NCIS as a field agent, I need to pull my weight. I have to prove that I can face any danger we may come up against. If I’m not going to do my fair share in the field, I might as well ride a desk in cybercrimes.”

“You’re something else, McGee,” Gibbs said. Then he planted a kiss on Tim’s temple.

That night, they fell asleep spooned together with Gibbs’ arm settled around Tim’s waist.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

In the morning, Tim woke up, still held by Gibbs’ arm. He also felt Gibbs’ hard cock pressing against his ass. Hoping his boss was still asleep, Tim tried to untangle himself, but the arm held him tight.

“It’s okay,” Gibbs muttered. “We need to save our strength.”

“Yeah, sure,” Tim whispered back.

The pair remained resting on the floor until they heard someone at the door. Then Gibbs pushed himself up quickly and moved to his usual spot with his back against the wall.

Another plate was nudged inside the door, along with another tin cup. Tim rubbed the sleep from his eyes and went to investigate. 

“Beans,” he announced as he began dividing them into two piles. “Sixty-three. If we had a knife we could split the last one in half.”

“Take it,” said Gibbs.

“You can have it.”

“Take it, Tim. It’s just a damn bean.”

“Soon to be a has bean?” Tim jested with a smile.

Gibbs sighed. Nothing about their predicament was amusing, but he knew Tim was just trying to keep their spirits up. He watched as Tim split the beans into two piles then placed the plate between them and set it spinning.

“We’ll let fate decide,” Tim announced, straightening the plate once it stopped. Between the two piles of beans were a few scraps of tortillas. It wasn’t much. They had both lost a lot of weight; so much that their clothing hung loosely on their frames. After they finished eating, they took turns sipping from the tin cup. Afterward, Tim set the plate and cup back at the door.

Instead of sitting opposite of Gibbs, he sat beside him, resting his head against Gibbs’ shoulder. “Do you think we’ll ever get rescued?”

“I’m sure they’re looking for us,” said Gibbs. “Torres knows the area; has connections.”

“We can’t survive long on a handful of beans a day. We’ve both gotten so thin. I can feel your ribs, and mine.”

“Don’t think about it,” said Gibbs as he placed an arm around Tim’s shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“I can’t help thinking about it. It’s not like we have anything else to do. Just eat, drink, get beaten, sleep and think. We have lots of time to think. Probably too much time.”

As soon as they heard a noise at the door, Gibbs pulled his arm away and stared blankly at the wall across from him. Tim had his knees bent, and his arms wrapped around them. When the door opened, he looked up at the captors, barely shrinking away when he was grabbed by one arm and lifted to his feet. Another of their captors grabbed Gibbs.

They were hustled through the corridors and into a shower area. Tim couldn’t believe it. He knew they must smell terrible, although he had no idea how long they had been held captive. He was certain it had been at least a week or two since they’d been taken.

Three armed captors watched over them as Tim and Gibbs undressed and quickly showered. The showers had pull chains and little privacy. They first pulled the chain to wet themselves, then released it as they worked the soap into a lather, covering all areas of their bodies. Once they were completely soaped up, including their hair, they pulled the chain again and quickly rinsed off. The pair was given one small, dirty towel to share. When they looked for their clothing, they found it was gone. 

Gibbs knew enough Spanish to ask about it and was told it was being laundered, and they’d get it back later. Clean, but naked, they were hustled back through the corridors and returned to the little, locked room.

Tim blushed at being naked in front of his boss. He sat across the room and avoided eye contact. He’d noticed the scruff on Gibbs’ face, as well as his own, was continuing to grow. It was obvious their hair was getting longer. His eyes were eventually drawn to the bruises that colored Gibbs’ skin. Some were purple, while others had already faded into yellowish hues. He couldn’t imagine the pain Gibbs had suffered at the hands of their captors. One mark caught his attention. 

“What’s that?” he asked, nodding at Gibbs’ shoulder.

Gibbs glanced down. “I got grazed by a couple bullets,” he said casually.

“What? You were shot?”

“Grazed, McGee. It’s nothing. I pressed it against the bottom of the truck during our ride. It was enough to stop the bleeding.” Nodding to his calf, he noted, “I just pressed my other leg against it until it stopped throbbing.”

Tim began checking over his own body, wondering if he’d been hit, too. Thinking back, though, he realized Gibbs had been between him and the terrorists during the shootout. It was truly amazing they hadn’t been killed; as if the rebels had indeed been ordered from the beginning to capture the men alive. A shiver ran through his body.

Gibbs waved him over. Tim was holding his hands so they covered his cock, but scrambled to his feet and went to sit beside his boss. At least it was a good way to avoid eye contact.

“How long do you think we’ve been here?” Tim asked.

“I don’t know.”

“I’m so hungry. If their intention is to starve us to death,” Tim began softly, with a sniffle, “I rather they would have just shot us back at the camp where we rescued the boys.”

Gibbs ran his hand up and down Tim’s arm. “Don’t be in such a hurry to make Delilah a widow.”

Tim wiped a tear away. “I don’t know why they’re holding us. I can’t stand watching them beat you.”

“I’m okay. Really,” promised Gibbs. His lips pressed a kiss against Tim’s temple, then another against his cheek.

Tim closed his eyes and tilted his head. Their lips met. Tim’s heart beat faster as he tried to wrap his mind around the fact that he was kissing his boss. On the mouth. And they were both currently completely naked. While he thought it was very wrong, he couldn’t break the kiss, which was warm and comforting. Instead, he shifted, and wrapped his arms around Gibbs’ back, pulling him close. Parting his lips slightly, he allowed his tongue to slide into Gibbs’ mouth as they deepened the kiss.

There was no missing the fact that their cocks took notice of the kiss. Tim’s penis pressed against Gibbs’ thigh, as Gibbs’ cock bumped against Tim’s stomach.

When they finally pulled away, Tim was nearly breathless. Neither spoke, nor made eye contact. Instead, they silently stared at the wall across from them.

At least an hour had passed before Gibbs softly muttered, “We have to come up with a plan to get out of here.”

“What can we do?”

“We’re going to stick together. But if you see a chance, if either of us sees a chance, we need to take it. If either of us can get away, we need to take the opportunity.”

“I’m not going to leave you behind,” said Tim. “I can’t. I won’t.”

“Yeah, you will. If you have the chance to get away, you take it. You get yourself to safety. Don’t worry about me.”

“How?”

“They’re pushing for information. You could let it slip that you know about computers. They have to have computers, right?”

“I haven’t seen anything. Maybe.”

“That’s our focus. We find out if there is a computer on board.”

“Most ships have been updated and computerized to a certain extent, especially for navigation and security. We could get lucky,” Tim said.

“We need a plan. If there’s a computer on board, we need to get you access to it. Then you can try to reach out to Abby, and she can trace the computer back and find out location. It’s something.”

“I can try.”

“We need a distraction. We need to do anything we can to distract them. Then maybe one of us can grab a weapon or get away.”

Tim nodded slowly.

“We need to do whatever we need to do.” Reaching over, Gibbs cupped Tim’s cheek in his palm. “I appreciate that you jumped out of the chopper to come help me. But my first goal is to get you home safely. If you have a chance, take it. That’s an order. If we can both go, you go first, I go second. Clear?”

Tim nodded again, pressing his cheek into Gibbs’ palm. “Crystal.”

Tim leaned closer until they were kissing again, wrapping their arms around each other. When they broke the kiss, neither said a word, but Tim leaned in close to Gibbs, as Gibbs threaded his fingers through Tim’s hair.

“You’re past due for a haircut.”

“You, too,” said Tim, “and a shave.”

Hours later, they heard noise in the hallway and quickly pulled apart. Their laundered clothing was tossed into the room first, followed by another plate of table scraps and a single tin cup of water.

They avoided looking at each other as they dressed. Seeing the lean, thin bodies, covered with bruises and lacerations was disheartening. At least their clothing smelled better, but Gibbs’ shirt and pants had faded blood stains that seemed to be permanently set.

Tim noticed that despite all they had been through, Gibbs’ eyes still sparkled with fire. If anyone could get them out of this mess, it was Gibbs.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

One day, Gibbs managed to break a small piece of wood loose from the wall. Tim was hopeful at first. Maybe they could enlarge the hole and escape. His excitement was quickly dashed when he saw there was another wall beyond the studs, and the studs were positioned too close for the men to squeeze through even with their recent weight loss. He watched as Gibbs worked his fingers raw trying to pull out a nail. It took him hours, but he finally pulled the nail loose.

“Are you planning to stab the guard with the nail?” asked Tim.

“Nope,” Gibbs answered simply.

“You’re making a weapon?”

“No.”

Tim watched as Gibbs began working the nail over his scrap of wood. He knew his boss enjoyed woodworking. Heck, he was forever working on building a boat in his basement. “Ah, you’re building a boat for our escape,” he said softly.

Gibbs smiled, then blew some sawdust away from his carving. “Just keeping my hands and mind occupied. Not much to do here.”

Tim nodded. He knew all too well the boredom they faced; boredom broken up by table scraps, restless sleep and beating sessions. Tim crawled across the room and settled his head in Gibbs’ lap. It became a comfort to him to sleep while Gibbs scraped the nail across the wood scrap.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Time passed.

While Tim found himself comforted when held in Gibbs’ arms, they never talked about it. Tim would just sit beside Gibbs, who would wrap an arm around his shoulders. After a few minutes, the nuzzling would begin, then kissing. Sometimes they kept their clothing on, sometimes not. 

Sometimes Tim would settle his head into Gibbs lap, occasionally noticing his boss’ hard cock. Tim would swallow uncomfortably and blush. 

A couple days later, he decided to make a game of it and would try to get Gibbs hard by rubbing the cock through the scant cloth of his trousers with his cheek and sometimes, just exhaling his hot breath against Gibbs’ crotch.

At night, he found that Gibbs tended to like to spoon up against him. Mornings often led to a hard cock pressed against his ass. For the first few days, Tim made sure he was facing away from Gibbs. Then one day, he turned around, embraced his boss and kissed him. Tim allowed his hand to drift down, and he began stroking Gibbs’ cock and kissing him until he came. 

As the days passed, the pair began sharing handjobs and trading off blowjobs. It was a purely physical act they never discussed; just a driving need they each craved. Once they were done, they would quickly wipe up the evidence. Gibbs would go back to etching the wood piece with the nail and Tim would sit nearby and watch.

The monotony wore on them. Some days it was almost a relief to be taken out of the tiny room just to break up the boredom. They were beaten, but as Gibbs had surmised, they were never killed. It did seem that their captors had been told to keep the men alive.

One day, things changed. Their hands were once again bound in front of them. Gibbs was working the ropes, twisting his wrists to test the knot as they walked. Instead of being taken to the room where they were often beaten, they were taken up to a higher deck, and led into a larger room, with a desk. Behind the desk was an older Hispanic male, with graying hair. He smoked a cigar as he chatted on the phone. When he saw the captives brought into the room, he quickly ended his call.

The man puffed on his cigar as he looked over Gibbs and McGee. Moving around his desk, he walked around each of them, inspecting them thoroughly. Turning back to one of the guards, he asked, “What happened to them?”

“We were just having a little fun, El Jefe. We warmed them up for you, made them pliant.”

The older man grabbed the guard’s hand and held it down against a wooden table as he pressed the lit end of the cigar against the back of the man’s hand until the man screamed in agony.

Once El Jefe released the guard’s hand, he resumed smoking his cigar and walked passed Gibbs and McGee, and back to his desk. “I apologize for your mistreatment. I did not authorize it.” 

There was a handgun on the man’s desk. He reached for it, holding it in his hand. “It has a nice balance. I see why you chose it,” he said to Gibbs. “My men are very upset with you. They tell me you killed many of their comrades and cost me a lot of money. But I think I have a solution to our problem.”

Gibbs never said a word. His eyes roamed around the room, then he glared back at El Jefe. Tim’s eyes caught sight of a plate on the man’s desk. There was a steak with beans on the side. 

El Jefe smiled. “Where are my manners? You must be starving.” 

Tim’s mouth watered and he was one second away from pouncing on the plate when Gibbs firmly said, “Not hungry.”

“That is fine. I know what is on your mind.”

“What’s that?” Gibbs asked. 

“You want to know if I will let you go. You cost me a lot of money, Agent Gibbs, and I know your government will not bargain for your release. But you are a lucky man, my friend.”

“How’s that?”

The man rose to his feet again and walked back over to Gibbs, tapping his finger against Gibbs’ temple. “You have information. I can sell information. When I have made enough money from what you know, then I will let you go. That is a fair trade, sí? Information for your life? And the life of your friend?”

Gibbs stood stone-faced and silent. 

“You can help me willingly, or I will have to persuade you. I can be most persuasive when I need to be. Let us begin with something easy. When is your birthday?”

“You going to send me a card?” asked Gibbs.

“Persuasion it is.” Turning back to the guards, El Jefe said, “Take them down to the boiler room. I will follow after I have eaten.”

The guards grabbed Gibbs and McGee by their arms and led them out of the office, back down to the room on the lower deck. Once again, McGee’s bound wrists were placed on a hook, and lifted into the air, stretching his arms upward.

Gibbs was placed on his back atop a table and strapped down.

“Can you turn out the lights?” Gibbs asked as he closed his eyes.

“El Jefe will be down shortly. He has plans for you, amigo.”

Keeping his eyes closed, Gibbs relaxed and said, “Wake me up when he gets here.”

The guards whispered back and forth in Spanish. They’d long ago realized that Gibbs understood a fair amount of their language and made a point to be careful of what they said in his presence.

Gibbs slept while Tim agonized over what was going to happen. It was painful to have his arms stretched above his head for so long. He felt his fingers going numb and did his best to work them in an attempt to keep the blood flowing. The rope had been pulled so tight, he was almost on his toes. His eyes darted between his wrists above him, and over to Gibbs, seemingly sound asleep on the stainless steel table.

It was over an hour before El Jefe showed up. Putting his jacket aside, he rolled up his sleeves and stared at Gibbs. “Agent Gibbs! It is time for us to have our chat. Now, when is your birthday? You look like a Leo to me. Tell me, am I right?”

When Gibbs remained silent, El Jefe nodded to one of his men, who doubled over a towel and placed it over Gibbs’ face. El Jefe grabbed a pitcher and began pouring water over Gibbs’ head until he was sputtering.

“No, don’t!” Tim yelled. The others in the room ignored him.

“Let us try once more,” said El Jefe. “When is your birthday?”

Again Gibbs remained silent and more water was poured until he sputtered and gasped for air.

“You have our passports,” yelled Tim. “You can get his birthday from that.”

“No, I cannot do that,” replied El Jefe. “This is a test. Something I can verify. If he cannot answer this simple question truthfully, how can I trust anything else he tells me?”

“He’s never going to tell you anything!”

El Jefe nodded slowly as another guard refilled the pitcher. “Then he will die and you will take his place.”

Tim struggled against the rope tying his wrists and the hook holding him up. He looked down when he heard Gibbs choking on the water. “Stop, please stop! Por favor deje de,” he said, remembering a phrase he had asked Gibbs to teach him.

It continued on for several minutes. El Jefe kept asking the same question of Gibbs, and Gibbs kept ignoring him. Every time more water was poured over Gibbs’ head and he choked, Tim begged for his life.

After several minutes, Gibbs started singing _Happy Birthday_ between the times water was poured over him.

“Stop, please, you’re killing him. Please stop. Let him breathe! Por favor! Por favor!” Tim yelled frantically.

El Jefe seemed unconcerned. “Most of our guests survive this particular incentive. It is a fun game, yes? I like to see just how far he will bend before he breaks. Now, Agent Gibbs, tell me your birthday.”

Gibbs began singing, “ _Today is the first day, the birthday of Earth day. Happy birthday to you day._ ”

Tim was tired and breathless when El Jefe allowed the guards to return the captives back to their room. Tim’s arms were lowered and he was led away first. A few minutes later, two guards entered their room, dragging Gibbs between them. They dumped him on the floor and left, locking the door behind them.

Tim immediately moved to Gibbs’ side and shook his shoulder. “Gibbs! Gibbs! Are you okay? Boss?”

Gibbs coughed, choking up a bit more water, then took a couple deep breaths. 

“I was so afraid they were going to kill you,” said Tim.

“Not yet. He’s going to see if he can break me first.”

“I don’t want to watch him break you. I don’t. I can’t watch them…”

“McGee! I’m not going to break.”

“They can do anything to you.”

“They can try.” With that said, Gibbs rolled over, facing away from Tim, and went back to sleep.

Tim sat up for hours, praying for their safety, and watching Gibbs breathe.


	2. I Need You Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Vance recalls Tony to DC to lead a special op to search for, and rescue, Gibbs and Tim._

The air was warm in Spain on a sunny day when Tony’s phone rang. It was a call he never expected to get. “Director Vance, what can I do for you, sir?”

“I need you back in DC, right away. I want you on the next flight.”

Tony’s heart dropped. He’d worked hard and had finally made the leap to leave Gibbs’ team when the Rota team lead position came open again. “Director, have I done something wrong?”

“Agent DiNozzo, check your insecurities at the door and get your butt back here. We’ll talk then. Special Agent Kevin O’Reilly is taking over the Rota team as of now. He’s in the air and will be arriving early tomorrow. I want you to find the next flight and get back here ASAP. Report to me as soon as you arrive in DC.”

“Is Agent O’Reilly taking over the team permanently? Do I need to end my lease on the apartment?”

“Yes. Pack all your things, end your lease, and get back here. We’ll discuss the details then. Leave your apartment information at the Rota office. Maybe O’Reilly till take it.”

“On my way, sir. I’ll let you know when I land.” 

“Text your expected arrival time to me before you take off. I’ll be sure to be at my office when you land.”

Tony couldn’t imagine why the director was pulling him back to DC, but his gut told him it wasn’t good news. Nonetheless, he sorted out his desk at the office, and packed what he needed before saying goodbye to his team. He informed them that Special Agent Kevin O’Reilly would arrive the following day to replace him. Although he would have liked to meet with Kevin personally to turn over the team, Vance was adamant that he return to Washington DC on the next available flight.

He kept his farewell brief, shaking hands with Andre and Joel. Andre was young and enthusiastic, while Joel was more experienced and rock solid. It made Tony a little sad to leave them as his new team was just beginning to get used to each other and gel as a unit. Now they’d have to readjust to Kevin and he would have to readjust to whatever new assignment Vance had pegged him for.

Leaving the apartment behind didn’t upset him. It was small and a dump. He hadn’t had time to really look around, and just needed a place fast when he first arrived in Spain. He always intended to find something better, but it suited his needs and he was busy. Now that he was leaving, he was happy to be on a month-to-month lease. As he lugged his suitcases with him, he stopped by the manager’s office to drop off the key. He let the manager know he was returning to the States, and then he flagged down a cab to take him to the airport.

During the long flight back to DC, he mulled over what he could have possibly done to get on Vance’s bad side. He thought about every case he’d worked on in Rota, wondering what he’d messed up.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

After arriving in DC, Tony took a taxi to NCIS headquarters. He’d dressed in a suit for the trip, and couldn’t wait to get changed. He could have worn more comfortable clothing on the flight, but he wanted to look good on his arrival at NCIS. He’d chosen a suit that tended not to wrinkle. One of his mottos when dealing with Vance was _dress to impress_. Vance always seemed to appreciate a suit and tie.

He was surprised by how comfortable it was for him to walk back into the bullpen. The orange walls and bright skylights made him feel right at home. His office in Rota wasn’t nearly as nice, spacious or bright. 

He glanced around the bullpen and said hello to Bishop. He could tell she was distracted, maybe even worried about something. Before he could ask what was up, or where Tim and Gibbs were, Vance caught his eye from the upper floor.

“Agent DiNozzo! My office, now.”

“On my way, sir,” Tony said as he headed toward the stairs, taking two at a time. 

The moment Tony entered his office, Vance said, “Take a seat.”

Tony eyed the file on the table and sat down. “You called me back for a case?”

“A very special op that I want you to lead.”

Outwardly, Tony kept his expression neutral, but inside, he was smiling from ear to ear. “I’m listening.”

“A couple months ago, two chemists were gathering water samples in Paraguay and came across this,” Vance began as he passed a file photo to Tony. It was of a severed, decomposing hand.

“Whose hand?”

“It belongs to a Navy SEAL, Matthew Dean.”

Tony nodded. “And you want me to go down to Paraguay and look for the rest of him?”

“No. We know where Dean is. A local man had saved him and his team on a mission last year. When the regional terrorist group, the RAC, recently grabbed the man’s son and two other boys, he called Dean for help. Dean lost his hand trying to rescue the man’s son.”

“You want me to go to Paraguay and help liberate the kids from the terrorists?”

“No. Listen. I’m trying to give you a little background. The case was assigned to Gibbs’ team. He took two agents, McGee and Torres, down to Paraguay and they found Dean.”

“And they went to rescue the boys?”

“They did rescue the boys and got them all out safely.”

“Good. Gibbs and his team are the best.”

“A Navy helicopter was sent in for the exfil.”

“Are they okay? Did it crash?” Tony asked nervously.

“I have Torres’ report. During their mission, Dean was leading the way to the chopper followed by the three boys, then Torres. One of the boys fell. McGee helped him up as Torres provided cover.”

“Where was Gibbs?”

“He was bringing up the rear. Torres was already in the helicopter providing cover as McGee helped the last boy up and they both made it.”

“Gibbs stayed behind, didn’t he?”

“Gibbs was providing cover. He held his ground as the rebels approached. The helicopter couldn’t wait any longer. They had to take off.”

“I’ll catch the next flight to Paraguay. I won’t stop searching until I find Gibbs,” said Tony as he stood up, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Sit. That’s not all.”

Tony’s heart sank as he feared the worst. His voice softened. “Is he dead?”

“I don’t know. But McGee jumped out of the helicopter and went back to help Gibbs. The chopper was low on fuel and couldn’t go back for them. It was too risky.”

“Oh, my God! Tim is missing, too?”

“Yes,” confirmed Vance.

“Why would he jump out of a helicopter? He’s married and his wife is pregnant.”

“I am aware.”

“What the hell was he thinking?”

“I don’t know. Maybe he can tell us one day. The Paraguayan government is supposed to be looking for them, but they claim to have had no success and no leads. CIA Agent Diego Ruiz was assigned to surreptitiously track them down. He’s dead. I’m not going to force you to take this assignment.”

“I’m there. I’ll find them. I won’t come back until I do,” Tony promised. 

“I want you to take Special Agent Nick Torres with you. Bishop will coordinate from here. She’s your contact. One more thing, DiNozzo. We were summoned to a congressional hearing because we didn’t play by the book. They have us on seven DOD violations. We’ve been ordered not to have anything to do with this case or investigation. I can’t sit back and do nothing. If there are consequences I’ll deal with it later. I want my men found and brought back alive, but it all has to be done on the down low.”

“Yes, sir. When do we leave?”

“Tomorrow. There’s a cargo plane taking off at O-nine-thirty. You’re going in as a tourist. Agent Torres will act as your guide and interpreter.”

“I don’t need a guide and interpreter.”

Vance raised his eyebrows. “He’s more than qualified. He spent several years undercover in Mexico. He knows his way around down there; has contacts. I want you to have backup and he blends in.” 

Tony couldn’t argue with that. 

“They’re probably dead. But we owe it to them to find out. We owe it to Delilah.”

“What makes you think they’re dead?” asked Tony.

Vance pushed Torres’ report across the table. “Torres estimated over twenty terrorists were in the area. Gibbs and Tim were heavily outnumbered.”

Tony quickly scanned over the file. “It doesn’t mean they’re dead.”

“No, it doesn’t. That’s why I’m sending you. I want you to find them, or find out what happened to them.”

“I won’t let you down.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Tony hustled down the stairs and looked over his desk; Tim’s desk now. Then he turned to Bishop and gave her a hug. “They’re okay. I know they’re okay and I’m going to bring them back alive.”

“Director Vance brought you back for this?” whispered Bishop.

“Yeah.”

“We’re not even supposed to touch this at all. It was taken away from NCIS’ jurisdiction.”

“I know. The Director read me in. Do you know Special Agent Nick Torres?”

“Yeah, he sits at Tim’s old desk,” she said as she nodded across the aisle.

Tony glanced over Torres’ workspace, and then looked over at Tim’s area, catching sight of a photo of Delilah. After walking over to the desk, he picked up the photo. “How’s she taking it?”

“As you would expect. Not well. She calls me several times a day for updates. I can’t tell her anything, especially on a call that could be tapped.”

Glancing back to Torres’ desk, Tony said, “So Nick Torres is the new me?”

“Technically, Tim McGee is the new you. He was promoted to senior field agent. Which means technically, Torres replaced Tim as a junior agent on the team.”

“Do you know where he is? I’m supposed to take him with me to Paraguay.”

Bishop frowned, displaying the crease on her forehead. “He went to talk to Abby. And Tony, we use ‘Paris’ to discuss anything related, if you catch my drift. We’re not even supposed to think about Paraguay.” 

Tony smiled and gave her another hug. “Vance is sending me in as a tourist, with Nick as my guide. I’ll try to pick you up a couple souvenirs.”

“Just find Gibbs and McGee.”

“Yeah, they just got a new code name.”

“What’s that?”

“Souvenirs,” disclosed Tony as he walked away.

Minutes later, he entered Abby’s lab.

“Tony!” she screamed excitedly from across the room as she ran to hug him.

“Wait a minute,” said Nick. “Not Tony DiNozzo?”

Tony reached out to shake Torres’ hand. “In the flesh.”

“I’ve heard great stuff, man.”

“Ditto. Did Vance read you in?” 

“On what?” 

“He’s sending me to, um, Paris,” Tony said with a wink. “And he’s sending you with me.”

Torres raised his eyebrows in surprise. “For reals?” 

“Aren’t you testifying at the congressional hearing?” asked Abby.

“They’re done with me. They have a few other people scheduled to testify, including Director Vance.”

“He won’t put you out on the hook to take the blame,” Abby promised. “As a director, he’s good about taking the blame for ops gone bad. And ops gone good.” Turning to Tony she said, “We need this op to go good. Bring them back, please.”

Tony gave Abby another hug, and planted a kiss at her temple. “That’s the plan. Torres, Vance wants me to play tourist, and you’re my guide. The code word for Gibbs and McGee is ‘souvenirs’.”

Abby smiled brightly. “Good, Tony. You bring me back two of the best and biggest souvenirs you can find.”

“I won’t come back without them, Abs. Torres, let’s go to the conference room to discuss our mission.”

Nick followed Tony to an empty meeting room and took a seat as Tony filled two water glasses, setting one down for Nick, the other for himself. 

“What are their chances?” Tony asked pointedly.

“Chances of what?” asked Nick.

“Still being alive. Is this a rescue mission or recovery?”

“I don’t know, man.”

“My name is Special Agent DiNozzo, but Tony will do for this mission. What happened? Were they hit?”

Nick nodded to the file folder Tony had set on the table. “I trust that is my report, and that you’ve read it.”

“I skimmed through it. But we all know not every little thing makes it into the official reports, especially on unsanctioned missions. I want to hear it from you.”

“We had the green light from Vance. At least, that was my understanding.”

“Vance told me about the congressional hearing. Why is he cutting you loose to return to…Paris?”

Nick smiled. “To get souvenirs?”

Tony rubbed his chin, staring directly into Nick’s eyes. “Yeah.”

Leaning forward, Nick exuded confidence. “They’re done with my testimony. They have other people to talk to.”

“What if they invite you back?”

“It’s apparent that Director Vance doesn’t think that’s going to happen. But if I get a call, I suppose I would have to hightail it back here. Vance is certain if they call me back, we would know the day before. I’d hop a redeye.”

“We’re taking a cargo flight down,” Tony noted.

“Those planes fly both ways,” countered Nick. “Vance has called in a lot of favors. I’m sure that plane we’re taking down is going to sit there waiting for us until we’re ready to leave. If not that plane, then some plane. The Director will hook us up.”

“Vance has some muscle, that’s for sure.”

“And some, what do you call it, chutzpah?” 

“Big, giant brass balls is what I call it. Gibbs has them, too.”

“Yeah, I notice when he walks,” Nick teased. 

Tony smiled. “Torres, you’re all right. But back to business. I need to know what you know, whether it’s in this report,” pausing, Tony tapped the file with his index finger, “or not. What did you see? What did they say? What was Gibbs’ plan?”

“Okay, straight up. The mission went bad and went bad fast.”

“Not as bad as Dean and Hudson’s mission, I hope.”

Nick took a deep breath. “Dean and Hudson were watching the group. They got caught. Hudson was killed, Dean had his hand cut off by a machete. It was dark. He ran for it and made it back to town. The kid he was there to rescue, it was his father who hid Dean in a church and tended to his injuries, fed him and kept him safe. The father had saved Dean’s whole SEAL team on a previous mission, by hiding and caring for them.”

“And Dean’s severed hand was found in a river, prompting Vance to send team Gibbs to find Dean.”

“I think it was more Gibbs’ idea than Vance’s. But Vance didn’t stop him.”

“No Marine left behind,” said Tony.

“Yeah. So we found Dean and used his intel. The day we were there, at the rebel encampment, we had already set explosives up on two trucks ready to blow as a distraction while we led the boys out. If we had aborted, the explosives would have been found. Gibbs and Tim had already placed the charges. Dean and I were outside the hut the boys were in when we heard several vehicles approaching. The terrorists were coming back en force and several hours earlier than expected.”

“Gibbs gave the order to blow the trucks, right?”

“He had the detonator. There’s no way he didn’t see or hear this convoy coming in. He blew the trucks and yelled for us to go. We grabbed the boys and ran, with Gibbs and McGee providing cover. Vance had arranged for a helicopter to pick us up and get us out of there.”

“Is that how you got in?”

“Yeah. He dropped us a couple miles away and we hiked to the encampment.”

“And after Gibbs set off the explosives, you and Dean grabbed the kids. Was anyone else there besides the pilot?”

“Ricardo is the civilian whose son Enrique was taken. He was waiting on the helicopter. Due to wait and fuel limitations, the pilot agreed to fly the mission alone, no co-pilot. That gave us the room to bring Ricardo.”

“But he stayed with the helicopter?”

“Yeah. He wanted to come into the camp with us, but Gibbs felt it would be too dangerous. On our exit, Dean was leading the way, in case any rebels got between us and the chopper. Behind him were the three boys, followed by me. McGee was right on my tail. Gibbs stayed back at the end, giving us cover.”

“The report said one of the boys tripped.”

Nick nodded. “The first boy was running so fast he almost got ahead of Dean. Dean jumped in the helicopter and reached out for the boy to help him aboard. I had Enrique, and helped him into the chopper. The last boy was slower. We’d gotten to an open area, a field where the chopper could land. I was focused on getting Enrique safely back to his dad. When I turned around, I saw the last boy had tripped and Tim was assisting him up, pushing him toward us. I was already there, in the helicopter, so I provided cover.”

“Where was Gibbs?”

“This feels like the congressional hearing.”

“I’m sorry for making you go over it again, but I need to know. Where was Gibbs?”

“He was still back near the compound, just at the head of the trail, between us and the rebels. I saw him firing his rifle until it either jammed or ran out of ammo. He tossed it aside, then he took out his handgun. The pilot said he couldn’t wait and started taking off. Tim jumped out and ran back to help Gibbs.”

“Did Tim say anything to you? Like, why he jumped?”

“He said to take care of the kids and he’d get Gibbs’ six. I was yelling to Gibbs to come to the helicopter. But he just stood there firing at the rebels. Tim was beside me one moment, and back on the ground the next. It happened in a split second. He was there, then he was gone.”

“Why didn’t you go back for them?”

“The official report is that the pilot and I discussed it and decided to leave because we were low on fuel. We would then send another team back later for Tim and Gibbs.”

“Unofficially?”

Torres took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Unofficially, I begged the pilot to go back. I pulled my fucking sidearm and pointed it at his head and cocked it. He said no. We were low on fuel and were being fired on. He felt if we went back, we’d all be killed. He asked if I saved the boys just so they could die in a helicopter crash. He kept going and I put my gun away.”

“He didn’t bring you up on charges, obviously. Why not?”

“Dude had nerves of steel. He flies rescue missions for the Navy and is based on a rescue ship. When we landed back at the ship, I apologized. We had a cup of coffee together. He said he understood. He didn’t want to leave them behind either, but Gibbs never made a move to get to the chopper. Tim been in the helicopter, then jumped out. The pilot said he was low on fuel and if we’d gone back, we all would have been stuck there. We were outmanned and outgunned. We had to get the boys to safety. That was our mission.”

“Did anyone see what happened to Gibbs and McGee?”

“Not really. Last time I saw them, they were standing close to each other, each firing a handgun.”

Tony shook his head. “It wouldn’t have taken long before they were out of ammo, both of them.”

“Probably not. The pilot, he said there was little hope they’re alive.”

“They could have been captured. If they ran out of ammo, they’d no longer be a threat.”

“Maybe. I mean, yeah, I sure hope they’re alive down there.”

“But you don’t believe it?”

“It doesn’t matter what I believe. There’s been no chatter. The RAC never claimed to have political prisoners. They’ve never asked for a ransom.”

“Did Gibbs and Tim have their IDs on them?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“They could have been taken hostage, if the terrorists knew they were feds.”

“Why? They haven’t tried to bargain for their release.”

“Information. There is a virtual goldmine in Gibbs’ head. Tim’s too.”

“Well, the RAC is into black-market uranium.”

“Really?” Tony asked.

“We’re working a case on a murder victim, Zachary Brooks. He called NCIS and wanted to meet. We found him shot dead when we got there. Ducky turned up evidence that indicates he was smuggling black-market uranium that Abby traced back to the RAC. He thought he was smuggling drugs. The uranium messed him up. His hair was falling out by the handfuls. I’m sure he was all riled up against these guys. We think that’s why he was calling us.”

“So you know where to dig?”

Torres smiled. “I may have some ideas.”

“Good. Get packed. We meet at the plane tomorrow at nine sharp.”

“You got it, boss,” said Nick.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

The flight was long. Nick slept, Tony didn’t. He never understood how people could sleep on the hard benches of a cargo plane, with all the noise and jostling. He thought of Gibbs. His former boss could wake up at the smallest sound of danger, but seemingly felt completely safe in a cargo plane. He remembered watching Gibbs sleeping soundly, sitting upright, with his arms folded across his chest and his legs crossed at the ankles. Tony never figured out how Gibbs managed to sleep on an airplane without falling over.

When they landed, the pair was given an off-the-books pickup truck, on loan from a sympathetic farmer. Their first stop was to revisit the church where Ricardo worked. From there, they spread out their search, making discreet inquiries and tapping into an American-friendly underground. 

They didn’t learn much other than the RAC paid well, but was known to not allow members to leave. Anyone who tried to walk away generally wound up dead. That was why there wasn’t much intel on the group.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Tim and Gibbs sat closely, locked inside the small room aboard the ship, whispering back and forth.

“We have to try to get back to El Jefe’s office,” said Gibbs. “He has a satellite phone.”

“How do we get there?”

“The next time they take us to the other room, when they’re beating me, I want you to tell them that you’re a computer expert. Tell them you’re with our cybercrimes unit and you will help them if they lay off beating me.”

“Won’t they question why I’m in Paraguay rescuing children from a rebel base?”

“I hope not. If they do, tell them you were sent to repair some computer gizmos on the rescue ship where the helicopter was based; that we just brought you into the field because you were there and able to set an explosive and provide cover.”

“Okay. And hopefully, they take me to their computer bank.”

“I’m not sure it will be a bank.”

“Maybe just an ATM?” teased Tim.

“Probably one guy with a twenty-year-old system that needs some work done on it. It may get you in,” said Gibbs.

“And if I can, I’ll try to contact Abby.”

“At least plant some sort of virus. Crash the damn thing, I don’t care.”

“And we wait for NCIS to come get us.”

“No, we don’t wait. When you come back, we’re going to fight.”

“Fight? You and me?” asked Tim.

“Yeah, you and me. I’ll accuse you of being a traitor and will attack you. While we’re struggling, hopefully, the guards will try to break it up. We go for their weapons. Some of them carry knives.”

“I’ve noticed.”

“I’m good with knives. And they’re quiet. We know our handguns are in El Jefe’s office. If we can get the guns and the satellite phone, we may have a chance to get out of here.”

“I think they all carry guns,” said Tim, rolling his eyes.

“We need a distraction. See if you can find out anything useful from their computers, if you get the chance.”

Tim nodded confidently. “I will. If there is anything to be found, I will find it.”

It still worried Tim how thin Gibbs was, and his hollow cheeks. It looked like a stiff wind would blow him over. He had no idea how Gibbs was surviving all the abuse he had endured. While Tim had been beaten, it was nothing like the tortures Gibbs had suffered through.

Just as they’d planned, when they were taken back to the boiler room, Gibbs was strapped down to the table to endure another round of water torture. He exaggerated his coughing and choking.

“Stop it, please!” Tim begged convincingly. “Please don’t kill him. Por favor.” After several minutes went by, Tim offered, “I’m an IT expert. I can help you with your computers. Just don’t kill him. If you let him live and for God’s sake, give me some real food, I will help you with your computers. Anything technical. Please, just don’t hurt him anymore.”

El Jefe thought for a minute, then reached for a towel to dry his hands. “Check with Pablo. See if there is something we have for this gringo to do with the computers.”

Two of the guards lowered Tim’s arms and began escorting him out of the room. “What about food?” Tim yelled back.

El Jefe pulled back the water-soaked towel and stared down at Gibbs who was still struggling to cough out the water and take in air. His eyes stared blankly at the ceiling above. “Take him back to his cell.”

“Would that be a cell phone booth? I could use one of those. Especially if it came with Superman. Where does he change clothes now?” Gibbs rambled on as they marched him out of the boiler room and back to the small, dingy storage room.

Across the ship, Tim was taken to what served as the ship’s computer room. There were two men in the cramped space. One looked up at Tim. “What is he doing here?”

“He said he is clever with computers. El Jefe said to see if you needed help with anything.”

“I cannot get the new printer to work,” the man said, pointing to a printer sitting on the table.

Tim eyed it and noted, “That’s not new.”

The man reached out and slapped Tim hard across the face. “It is new to me. If you are so clever, it should be no problem for you to make it work.”

“Why should I?” asked Tim.

One of the guards cocked his gun and pointed it at Tim’s head. “You may know something about computers, but your mind is weak. You told El Jefe not ten minutes ago that you would fix our computers if he stopped hurting your friend.”

“Okay, okay,” said Tim. “I need my wrists free. And I said I wanted food. Real food. Not the leftover scraps.”

The man behind the computer pushed his chair back and rose to his feet. “I will make you a deal. If you get the printer to work, I will give you some real food. Good food, not scraps.” Stepping back, he indicated that Tim should take the seat.

As soon as Tim sat, he held out his wrists. “It’s not like I’m going anywhere. I need my hands to work on the computer. Understand?”

One of the guards moved forward slowly and untied the rope binding McGee’s wrists. Tim stretched his fingers and wiggled them to get the circulation going. The room was so small, the rebels could watch him, but couldn’t see what he was doing on the computer. “Do you have internet access?” he asked. “You probably just need a driver installed for the printer, but I have to get on the internet to find it.”

“Sí, it is hooked up and logged on.”

Tim tapped away, searching for the driver he needed. To keep them distracted, he began rambling in techno-babble as he typed away. As the driver was downloading, he sent a short email to Abby, then wiped away any trace of it from the system. 

After a few minutes, he typed a simple message and sent it to the printer. The rebels all smiled when the printer groaned and came to life. They listened as it rattled away and dropped a single sheet to the paper tray.

One of the guards picked it up and read the sheet aloud. “ _You promised to feed me. Where is my food?_ ”

The rebels laughed, but one left the room and returned a few minutes later with a thick burrito, filled with beef and beans, and a bottle of tequila. “For making our printer work, you get food and drink.”

McGee wasted no time in grabbing the burrito and ravenously consuming it. He was shoving it into his face when Gibbs was led by the doorway. The look Gibbs gave him stabbed at his heart. He stopped chewing for a moment as Gibbs passed by. Then he swallowed deeply and quickly devoured the rest of the burrito. The guard picked up the tequila bottle and handed it to Tim before they led him back to the cell. 

Gibbs had been taken to El Jefe’s office, but they seemed to purposely lead him by the computer room just as Tim was eating. It was meant to piss him off.

At the doorway of their cell, Gibbs attacked McGee, grabbing him into a chokehold. “You fucking traitor. You sold your soul for a bite of food!”

“No, no, it wasn’t like that,” McGee stammered.

“I fucking saw you. I’m going to wring your neck.”

The two grappled and fell to the floor. Tim dropped the bottle of tequila as they tussled. “It was just a printer. I installed a driver so they could use their printer, that is all. I did it for you; to save you.”

“And now you’re going to die for me,” yelled Gibbs as he wrapped his hands around McGee’s neck and squeezed.

“Come on! I have a pregnant wife at home. I’d like to live to see my child grow up.”

The guards rushed forward, pulling Gibbs and McGee apart. In a flash, Gibbs grabbed the guard’s knife and slit his throat, then that of the other guard. They each grabbed a gun from one of the fallen guards. 

“We’re going to have that distraction in just a few minutes, Boss, so we have to move fast.”

“What distraction?” Gibbs asked.

“I saw what they were doing. They’re working with uranium onboard this ship.”

“McGee, this distraction isn’t going to kill us, is it?”

“I hope not. You can set and reset the alarm from their computer. I set it to do a test of the contamination alarm. It’s due to go off in about forty minutes. If they don’t know it’s coming, it should scare the crap out of them. They won’t know it’s in test mode; they’ll think it’s a real emergency, a leak.”

“Let’s get up to the office, see if we can get the satellite phone. Did you send a message to Abby?”

“Yeah,” Tim confirmed as they traversed the narrow corridors. 

They ran into one guard outside of the office. Gibbs silenced him with a quick twist of his neck.

“It usually scares the crap out of me knowing you can do that,” said Tim. “But just this once, I’m so glad you can.”

“It comes in handy,” Gibbs said with a grin.

Abby called Bishop’s cell phone. “Come down to my lab, now!” she said before abruptly hanging up.

Bishop stared at her phone and frowned, but headed straight to the lab. “Abby, you hung up on me!”

Abby raced across the lab to grab Bishop’s hand and led her back to the computer. Bishop stared at the email displayed on Abby’s monitor and read it aloud slowly.

“‘ _Honey, I’m fine. Hoping to get back home soon. MIT._ ’. Abby, what is this?” Bishop asked.

Abby bounced with excitement, and wrapped her arms around Ellie in a hug. “Oh, my God, it’s Tim. That email is from Timothy McGee.”

Bishop took a closer look. “Are you sure?”

“MIT is Tim backwards,” Abby said excitedly. “They’re still alive!”

“Where did it come from?”

“I’m trying to trace it, but they’re bouncing the signal all over the globe. I’m sure he’s down in Paraguay. Somewhere.”

“We have to see if we can pinpoint their location and get the coordinates to Tony and Nick.”

Minutes later, Bishop’s cell phone rang again. “Hello,” she said.

“ _Bishop! Thank God!_ ”

“Tim? Tim, is that you?”

“ _We don’t have much time. Trace the call if you can. It’s a satellite phone._ ”

“Are you still in Paraguay?”

“ _I think so. We’re on a boat. I accessed their computer and set a contamination alarm to go off. We only have thirty minutes left. We’re going to try to get to the top deck of the ship. Get someone there, please. They have to look for us._ ”

“Do what you have to do to survive. Tony and Nick are down there. I’ll call them. Wait. You said you’re on a satellite phone?”

“ _Yeah. It belongs to the RAC leader. We have him. We’re going to use him as a shield to get to the top deck._ ”

“We were working on a case, and the victim had this app on his phone. A dating app.”

“ _Bishop, we don’t need dates, we need a rescue helicopter._ ”

“Listen, Tim. The app tells you how far away you are from your perspective match. I think I can push the app to the satellite phone and get your distance that way.”

Abby grabbed the phone from Bishop. “Tim! Is Gibbs still alive?”

“ _Yeah. He’s here. We’re going to go to the top of the ship. We need to move before the corridors get blocked when the alarm goes off. We have to go._ ”

“Don’t hang the phone up, I’ll push that app through,” Ellie said.

_“Yeah, okay. Gotta go.”_

Bishop turned to Abby and said, “Call Tony. Tell them we need an exfil ready to go now.”

Abby dialed Tony’s number as she watched Bishop create a quick dating profile for Tim, and pushing the app to upload to the satellite phone. “Tony! Tim called.”

“ _Really? He’s alive?_ ” Tony asked.

“Yeah, he’s alive. He wasn’t calling from beyond. Although, that would be pretty cool.”

“ _Abby! Focus! Is Gibbs with him?_ ”

“Yes, Gibbs is with him. Ellie is working on finding where they are exactly. Tim said they’re on a boat. In looking at a map, it could be on the Paraná River. We need you to get an extraction set up like now. Like right now. They said they’ll make it to the top deck of the ship in just a few minutes.”

Abby heard Tony giving orders to Nick to get a helicopter and crew lined up and ready to go. Then he was back talking to her. “ _We need the coordinates._ ”

“Working on it.”

Ellie called out loudly. “Got them, Tony. Texting coordinates to your phone now.”

“Bring them back alive,” Abby begged.

“ _We’re on it._ ”

Minutes later, Tony and Torres joined a helicopter SEAL team, as they lifted off, headed to the coordinates Bishop had provided.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Gibbs tied El Jefe’s hands in front, just as their hands had been tied, then he placed a towel in the man’s mouth and a burlap sack over his head. He’d grabbed El Jefe’s hat and wore it as he pushed the man through the corridors. Tim was leading the way, his head down and hands loosely tied before him.

The rebels they passed stood back and let them go by, as they thought it was their leader moving the prisoners from one room to another. Nobody stopped or questioned them.

They had barely made it to the deck when the alarm sounded. At that point, no one on the ship was paying any attention to them. The panicked rebels were fleeing in droves. Many just jumping off the ship and swimming to the nearest shore. Amidst the chaos, they heard the helicopter coming. Most of the rebels had bailed from the ship without bothering with weapons, but the few who were still armed started firing at the chopper.

The SEALs on the helicopter returned fire as they landed on the deck.

Gibbs and Tim watched the door slide open and saw that Tony was there, waving them in. “Come on! Hurry! We have to go!”

Tim climbed into the helicopter first, followed by El Jefe, and finally Gibbs. They were rescued at last. 

As the door slid shut, Tony pressed his hand firmly against Tim’s chest. “No more jumping out of helicopters, okay?”

“Yeah, Tony. I learned my lesson,” Tim replied as they felt the helicopter lifting off.

Tony smiled and hugged Tim tightly. “You look like hell.” Glancing across the chopper, he nodded to Gibbs. “You look like hell, too.”

“You look like a fucking angel,” Gibbs yelled back.

Tony noticed Gibbs was tearing up and went over to give him a hug. “I’m so glad you survived. Both of you.”

“What the hell are you doing in Paraguay?” asked Gibbs.

“Vance called me in to rescue you guys. I promised I wouldn’t come home without you. Torres and I have been looking for you for over a month.”

“I’m glad to see you,” Gibbs said, reaching out and cupping Tony’s cheek. “It’s damn good to see you, Skippy.”


	3. Going Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Tony and Nick Torres rescue Gibbs and Tim and bring them home to DC. After their debriefing, Dr. Grace Confalone suggests a therapy retreat in Colorado may be just the place for Gibbs and Tim to heal from their traumatic experiences._

The team wasted no time. Their orders were to return to DC immediately. Torres and DiNozzo grabbed their go bags and escorted Gibbs and McGee to the waiting cargo plane. It was promised that the pilots were well-rested and well-caffeinated.

Tim and Torres sat on one side of the airplane, while Tony and Gibbs were on the other side. Gibbs was asleep before the plane even took off. 

Tony glanced at him and smiled. “I don’t know how he does it. You need something to eat, McGee? Tim?”

Tim had been lost in his own thoughts and shook his head, trying to wrap his mind around Tony’s words. “I could use a steak.”

“Looks like Gibbs could, too.” Tony dug into his pack and tossed Tim a granola bar. “Eat. Looks like you could use it.”

Tim stared at it for a minute before finally tearing open the wrapper and devouring the bar.

“Slow down there, Slim Tim. You better make sure you still have all your fingers.”

Tim splayed his fingers and counted. Yep, still five digits on each hand. “When did my hands get so bony?” he muttered softly.

Nick turned to face him. “Dude, everything on you is bony. Looks like you haven’t eaten in days. You could be a skeleton if it was Halloween.”

“They only gave us their scraps; bits of chicken, beans, rice, bread, tortillas, whatever they didn’t eat. They’d give us their bones like we were dogs. It would have been trash back home, yet we were happy to have it. I was anyway. It was a fight to get Gibbs to eat anything.”

“I don’t know how you did it,” said Tony.

“Did what?”

“Survived all that time with Gibbs and no coffee. I can’t imagine.”

“Didn’t really think about it. We were in survival mode; did what we had to do to stay alive and sane. It was tough.”

“I’ve been wanting to ask you,” Nick began. “Why the hell did you jump out of the helicopter? You were safe. Why did you go back?”

Tim shook his head and looked over to Gibbs. “I couldn’t leave him alone. He’s done so much for me. I just couldn’t.”

Nick patted his back. “I was so afraid you guys had been killed. When we landed, the pilot told me they were sending two rescue teams to look for you guys, but he was sure you were dead.”

“How long did they search?” Tim asked.

“Until tonight.”

“What? Why? If they thought we were dead…”

“Your bodies were never recovered. I was certain the rebels wouldn’t have taken your bodies if they had killed you. I went back to the compound after we got the boys to safety. We found a few bodies, but they were all terrorists. I thought there was a chance you guys had survived. There was no reason for them to take you to another location just to kill you. I didn’t want to stop looking until we knew for sure. I was determined to find you.”

“So you’ve been down here the whole time?”

“No. I got called back. Apparently, we broke a few rules. I had to testify at a congressional hearing. At first, we were told the Paraguayan authorities were searching for you and we were ordered to stand down. And that was that. They never found anything. We found out later, the CIA had sent an agent down to secretly snoop around; it was a highly covert mission. He was killed. Then Vance called in Tony for a secret op and sent me along with him.”

Tony said, “I don’t know how you got your hands on their computer or that satellite phone, but that’s what did it. You guys really saved yourselves. Mostly. I mean, it’s not like you had a helicopter in your back pocket, so we did help a little bit.”

Nick quickly added, “We were getting close though; never took a day off. We would have found you eventually. Tony and I worked a lot of long hours searching for you. We were in the right area and closing in.”

“But what you did, McGee, sure helped speed things up. So how did you do it?”

“It was Gibbs’ plan,” Tim confided. “They beat us both, but he got the worst of it. I begged for his life until I was hoarse. One day, he said that I should tell them I would help them with their computers if they stopped torturing him. And for food. I really needed some food. I felt so weak.”

“And you got in and sent Abby that email. Good job.” 

“And I saw they had an alarm system. They were working with uranium on the ship. There was a contamination alarm. They could test the alarm by setting it off with the computer. I set it for an hour later. Gibbs had a plan and we were able to get up to the office and grab the satellite phone, and our weapons.”

“And captured the leader of the RAC and took him into custody. A job well done!” said Tony.

“Did we?” asked Tim. “I don’t even remember. We were trying to get through the corridors without being stopped. Then the alarm went off. Everyone was freaking out, running out on deck and jumping into the water. We just stood there in the sunlight and heard the helicopter. I thought we’d never get out of there. Then there you guys were. Saving us.”

“Rest if you can,” suggested Tony. “You two are going to have a long debriefing session when we get back.”

“I could sure use a decent meal.”

“We’ll get you a good meal after we get back to DC.” Tony checked his pack, and tossed Tim another granola bar. “I wish I had something more. Vance gave orders we were to whisk you back to the States immediately. I can check if the pilots have anything to eat they’re willing to share.”

Tim rolled his eyes and sighed. “It’s okay. I could really use some rest.” A minute after he finished eating the snack bar, Tim shut his eyes and fell asleep. 

Tony leaned back and cracked his neck. “I can’t believe Gibbs hasn’t asked for a gallon of coffee.”

“I can’t imagine what they went through,” said Nick, shaking his head. “Look at them. They wouldn’t have lasted much longer.”

Tony glanced at Tim, then back to Gibbs. “I’m glad we found them alive. It’s good to see them.”

“Amen to that.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Hours later, the plane landed. Tony and Nick grabbed their bags. Tony led the way out of the plane, while Nick brought up the rear.

“Vance wanted us to take you guys to the hospital to get checked out,” said Tony as he walked across the tarmac. 

“No,” Gibbs said sternly. “We’re fine.”

Tony grinned. “Yeah, I knew you would say that. Ducky is standing by. Vance insists that you both get checked out by a doctor, but he’s okay with Ducky doing the initial exam.”

“I brought your bags back,” Nick said. “After we rescued the boys. I stuck around until Vance ordered me to return. I brought your things back with me. I kept them at NCIS, so you guys will have a clean change of clothing.”

Gibbs settled into the passenger seat, with Tony driving. Nick and Tim shared the back seat. 

“They know we’re okay, right?” Tim asked softly.

Torres nodded. “Sure. Vance called Delilah. So she knows.” Pulling out his cell phone, he handed it to Tim. “Go ahead, man. Call her.”

Tim stared at the phone like he’d never seen one before.

“Vance doesn’t want you talking to anyone until after the debriefing, I know. But if I were you, I’d want to hear her voice. I’m sure she’d like to hear yours.”

Tim nodded and took the phone.

Delilah answered on the second ring. “ _Nick? Are you guys back? Is everything okay?_ ”

“Honey, it’s me. We’re back in DC,” Tim said, his voice cracking. “I can’t wait to see you.”

Delilah burst into tears. “ _Oh my, God! Tim! Tim! It’s so great to hear your voice. I couldn’t believe it was real when they said they’d found and rescued you. Are you okay?_ ”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Gibbs, too.”

“ _When will you be home? When can I see you?_ ”

“Soon. Vance wants us to get checked out, just a precaution. And debriefing.”

Delilah sniffled. “ _I missed you so much._ ”

“I love you.”

“ _I love you, too. I can’t wait to see you._ ”

“I’ve changed a bit. Lost some weight.”

“ _It’s okay, Tim. All that matters is that you’re home, and you’re alive. I never gave up hope._ ”

“I’ll be home as soon as I can.”

“ _I know. I’ll be waiting._ ”

Tim’s voice softened. “Is the baby okay?”

“ _Yes, of course. I’ve had a few doctor visits and everything is right on schedule. I’ll fill you in when you get home._ ”

Tim released a big sigh of relief, letting his breath out slowly. “Good. I was so worried. I’ve missed so much. I don’t even know how to change a diaper.”

It was hard to tell if Delilah was laughing or sniffling. “ _You’ll learn. You’re going to be a great dad._ ”

“Thanks. I mean, you too. You’re going to be an awesome mom. I feel like you’re doing all the hard work. I haven’t been around all summer.”

“ _It’s not like you had a choice. I know you would have rather been here._ ”

“Yeah.”

“ _We’ll talk more when you get home._ ”

“I don’t want to hang up.”

“ _Me either. But the sooner we hang up, the sooner you’ll be home. Okay?_ ”

“Yeah, you’re right. Love you.”

“ _I love you._ ”

When Nick took his phone back, he stared at it. “That conversation is going to give _me_ cavities.”

Tony stared at Nick in the rearview mirror. “Give him a break, Torres. He’s been away from his wife for months.”

“I know, I know. His pregnant wife on top of it.”

Within minutes, Tony pulled the sedan into the garage, parking it next to the ME van. “We’re home,” he announced. “Let’s go see Ducky.”

Standing aside, Tony waved for Gibbs and Tim to enter first. Ducky was at a table working on a body, but noticed something had grabbed Jimmy’s attention. In a quick, fluid motion, he turned to look over his shoulder, and smiled when he saw Gibbs and Tim had arrived. 

Pulling off his latex gloves, he briskly walked across the room and gave them both hugs. His smile slowly faded. “Well, then. I trust you are here because you didn’t want to spend the next two days at the hospital.” Turning slightly, he said, “Mr. Palmer, please continue the autopsy.”

“Yes, Doctor,” Jimmy replied. He coughed uncomfortably, then added. “It’s really, really good to have you guys back. You were very truly missed. Bishop brought your bags down from the bullpen, and put them over there.”

Gibbs rolled his eyes and reached for his bag, while Tim softly said, “Thanks, Jimmy.”

Tony audibly gasped when Gibbs removed his shirt. While it was obvious he’d lost weight, his shirt had covered up how badly he was really hurt. Bruises covered much of his skin in varying colors, from yellows to tans, reds and purples, showing they had been inflicted at different times. His frail appearance made him look older. Tim was thin and bruised, too, but not to the extent of Gibbs.

Vance arrived before Ducky had finished his examinations. Like the others, his expression dropped into one of concern when he saw them. They were tired, bruised and thin. “I heard you were back,” he said firmly. “Dr. Mallard, how are they?”

“Dehydrated, too thin. But nothing broken.”

“I thought they should spend a night or two in the hospital.”

“That would not have been a bad idea,” Ducky agreed.

“Forget it,” said Gibbs. “I’ve had enough of being strapped down and stuck in a tiny room. I just want to go home and relax.”

Vance stood aside and nodded to the door. “I understand. But your debriefing awaits you.”

Vance led the way to the conference room. Gibbs raised an eyebrow when he saw Dr. Grace Confalone waiting for them. “Miss me that much?” he asked.

“How you been, Popeye?”

“I’ve had better days,” he said as he eyed the coffee pot and gulped down two cups before settling at the table.

Bishop knocked lightly before she entered the room and set a box on the table. She stared at Tim and Gibbs like she’d never seen them before. “You guys look…good.”

Gibbs scoffed. “We look like hell.”

“You’re alive,” she reminded him. She gave them both quick, gentle hugs. “There are sandwiches and chips in the box. You guys should eat.”

Tim peered in the top of the box. Leave it to Bishop to remember his favorite deli order. “Thanks, Ellie.” Looking up at Gibbs, he pulled out a roast beef sandwich and a bag of potato chips. “Here you go, Boss.”

Vance stood at the head of the table. “Gentlemen, take a seat. We need to hear the whole story, from the beginning.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Tony and Nick sat in on the debriefing. Vance started with Nick, having him tell what happened during the rescue mission, including the real version of his interaction with the pilot. Tony was next, discussing his mission with Nick. Vance filled them in on the congressional hearings, including that he was there when he’d received the call that his men had been located. He explained how the microphones and cameras were turned off and he was given the green light to do whatever he had to do to bring Gibbs and McGee home safely, and was told there would be no repercussions for rescuing his agents.

Then it was Tim’s turn. He explained that he jumped from the helicopter because he wanted to have Gibbs’ six. At the time, it hadn’t occurred to him that he could have been killed or captured. He just didn’t feel right flying away and leaving Gibbs alone facing so many rebels by himself.

His hand shook as he reached for his glass of water. After taking a few deep breaths, he told them of the capture and how they were taken aboard the boat and kept locked up. He spoke of the scant food and water rations and the constant beatings. At the end, he told how Gibbs came up with a plan for Tim to offer to help the rebels with their computer in exchange for food. 

“You did an excellent job, Agent McGee. Setting off their contamination alarm provided an effective distraction and cleared the deck for the rescue team,” said Vance.

After a break, they all returned and Gibbs told a shortened version of their capture and their time being held captive. His words echoed Tim’s.

Vance asked the pair a few questions, then ordered Tony to take Gibbs, Tim and Nick out to dinner at a nearby steakhouse and return in an hour.

Once the four men left the room, Vance turned to Grace. “Thoughts?”

She shook her head. “They’re clearly not ready for field duty.”

“I got the impression they were holding something back.”

Nodding in agreement, she added, “I felt that, too. They’ve been traumatized, especially McGee.”

“He was avoiding eye contact,” said Vance.

“It’s normal. It’s going to take time for them to work through everything.”

“Am I ever going to get my field agents back?” Vance asked pointedly.

“It’s too soon to say. We need to identify what they are holding back, and why.”

“But it’s going to take weeks?”

“At least. Even if they were mentally sound, you can’t put them out in the field like they are now.”

Vance pulled the toothpick from his mouth. “You mean they both need a shave?”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “They could both use a shave and to gain about fifty pounds. They’re not currently fit to go out in the field physically or mentally.”

“I need a plan of action.”

“I’m not sure you’re going to like it, but I have an idea.”

Vance leaned back in his chair and pressed his fingertips together. “Go ahead.”

“There’s a place out West that could help. I think they would heal and open up faster if they were away from the distractions of DC. If they stay here, Tim will hole up with his wife and Gibbs will hide down in his basement drinking bourbon and building his boats, but I think they will struggle to come to terms with what they went through.”

“What kind of place are you referring to?”

“A retreat of sorts.”

“This isn’t a vacation,” Vance pointed out.

“It’s manned with psychiatrists and psychologists.”

“Pricey?”

“I can see what I can do. Being a former Marine, Gibbs qualifies for a discount. They may be willing to give Tim a discount, too, since he works for NCIS. This retreat specializes in working with veterans and their families. It wouldn’t be any more than keeping them here and going to multiple sessions each week.”

“And the psychiatrists and psychologists are up to par?” he asked.

“You’re looking at one of them.”

“Really?”

“Many do this one to four weeks a year in place of a vacation. Others are retired and work out there for several weeks to several months each year. I’ll be there myself for the next two weeks.”

“Like a working vacation?”

“Something like that. We get a schedule and when we’re off duty, we get to enjoy the mountains, scenery, wildlife and anything you can imagine for recreation. It’s a working ranch with horses and cattle.”

“And you think that’s what they need?”

“Maybe you’ve noticed that Gibbs isn’t the most talkative person. He can be a tough nut to crack. I think being out in a natural setting with horses, mountains and wildlife will help reach him faster. If you will agree to send them, I will guarantee they’ll come back whole. There’s plenty of good food and exercise, too.”

Looking around the room, Vance took in a deep breath and released it slowly as he considered his options. “When are you going?”

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning and will be out there for two weeks. They’ll need longer than that. I’ll make a call and see if they will let them work off some of the fees. They have a lot of computers, so maybe McGee can tweak those and make sure they’re secure.”

“And Gibbs?”

“Horses. I think horses would be a suitable job for him. He’ll get a decent physical workout and can bond with a living thing he doesn’t have to use words with.”

Vance smiled. “I’d like DiNozzo to escort them. I think he will be a positive presence and can make sure Gibbs gets there and doesn’t run off the reservation before he’s released.”

Grace reached out and patted the director’s hand. “Great minds think alike! I was just thinking how Tony would be a good influence on them. They’re in bad shape. They’re definitely keeping something back; both of them. Tony might be just the person to help them face their problems. They both view him as a safe person in their lives.”

A few minutes later, Tony rapped on the door.

“Come on in,” said Vance. 

Dr. Grace was on her cell phone, but quickly ended the call. She smiled and nodded to Vance, “It’s all set.”

“Good. Gentlemen, go home and pack your bags. You’re leaving tomorrow morning. Dr. Grace has set you up on a retreat.”

Gibbs snorted in derision. “Not going to happen.”

“Agent DiNozzo.”

“Yes, sir?”

“Do you have your handcuffs on you?” Vance asked.

“Yes.”

“Take Agent Gibbs into custody. It’s your responsibility to make sure he gets out there and stays out there until he’s released. Clear?”

“Yes, sir.” Tony reached for his handcuffs and Gibbs shot him a glare. “Just doing my job, Boss. After all we went through to rescue you, I really don’t want to have to chase you down and shoot you.”

Gibbs sounded tired and a little defeated. “The cuffs won’t be necessary.”

“Just so you know, I’ll use them if I have to,” said Tony.

Vance turned to Nick. “I want you to take McGee home to visit his wife. It’s your responsibility to get him packed up and to the airport on time tomorrow. DiNozzo, Gibbs is your responsibility. I want you to accompany them both out to the retreat.”

“How long will we be gone?” asked Tony.

“As long as it takes.”

Dr. Grace smiled. “You guys will love it. It’s an amazing place and I will be with you for your first two weeks.”

Director Vance eyed Torres and DiNozzo. “Don’t let them out of your sight until they’re on that plane in the morning.”

Nick took Tim’s arm and led him out the door. “I don’t want you to be overwhelmed, but everyone is headed to your apartment tonight.”

“Why?”

“Vance told them all to steer clear at the office, give you two some space, but they all want to see you and welcome you home. Jimmy and Breena will be there, and Abby; probably Ducky, too. Bishop is wrapping up some paperwork and will be along later. I didn’t plan it, so don’t get mad at me.”

“I’m not mad.”

Tony allowed Gibbs to walk out the door first, then quickly moved to his side. The building was nearly deserted as it was nearly eight in the evening. “Do you want to go over to Tim’s place and see everyone?”

“No. I just want to go home.”

“Everyone wanted to get together to let you guys know how glad they are to have you back safe and sound.”

“You can go. I’m going home.”

Tony followed Gibbs down to the bullpen where they found Bishop still at her desk. She jumped up when she saw them and gave them both another round of hugs. “I never knew how much paperwork you had to do,” she said. “God, it’s so good to see you home!” she exclaimed as she gave Gibbs yet another hug, as if she needed to embrace him to assure herself he was really there. “We were all hoping and praying that you were safe. So, you’ll be back at your desk on Monday?”

“Nope,” said Gibbs as he looked at his desk. The files and stacks of paper had been moved and rifled through, but most things were unchanged.

Tony spoke up, “Vance is sending them to a special retreat. I get to go with them, as their escort.”

“Oh, really?” she asked.

“Dr. Grace will be there for a couple of weeks. It was her idea.”

“Wow. That’s going to be tough on Tim and Delilah. She’s been a wreck with him gone all summer.”

“Well, it’s doctor’s orders.”

Ellie turned to Gibbs. “Everyone is meeting over at Tim’s place tonight.” Glancing over to Tony, she added, “Your old place. Vance warned everyone to stay away from you at the office. He didn’t want you to feel overwhelmed. Abby wanted to see you guys so badly.”

“I don’t think so,” said Gibbs. “I just want to go home.”

“I have to stay with Gibbs,” Tony added.

Gibbs glared at him again. “I don’t need a fucking shadow.”

“Yeah, but I work for Vance and he told me not to let you out of my sight.”

“You going to join me in the shower?”

The pair stood toe-to-toe, eye-to-eye, glaring at each other.

No one knew Gibbs as well as Tony, and Tony was struggling to read his boss. “If I have to,” he said unflinchingly. 

“Okay,” Ellie said slowly. “I’ve just got a couple more reports to sign off on, then I’m going over to Tim’s for a while.”

Tony leaned close and kissed her cheek. “Good to see you, Bishop. Everyone said you’ve done above and beyond in their absence.”

“Thank you, Tony.”

“Tell them all we said hi, but Gibbs just wants some quiet time tonight.”

With that, Tony placed a hand on Gibbs’ shoulder and they walked to the elevator. 

They’d barely stepped into the car when Gibbs flipped the switch and attacked. “I don’t need you!”

“Wow, Boss, that really hurts,” said Tony as he reached for the switch.

Gibbs blocked him and snapped, “I’m not joking. I don’t need anyone hanging over my shoulder.”

“Do I have to say it?”

“What?” asked Gibbs.

Despite Gibbs’ growling, Tony kept his voice calm and even as he spoke firmly. “You’ve been through a traumatic event. It’s obvious that you’re not cleared, for anything. It’s also obvious that this retreat is Dr. Grace’s idea. I’ve been given a job and I plan to do it. I know you, Gibbs. You can gripe and squawk all you want to, but I am going to do my assigned duty and escort you out to this retreat. And I’m staying on your couch for the night.”

“That’s where I sleep.”

Tony reached over and flipped the switch to release the car. “Then I will sleep on the damn floor. I may not even sleep. I’m going to grab a couple five-hour energy drinks and will sit up and watch you all night.”

“Just where do you think I’m going to go?” Gibbs asked.

“I don’t know. I really don’t know,” Tony said as he wondered how combative Gibbs was going to be when they got back to the house. It had the potential to turn into a long night and Tony could feel his energy waning. He really needed Gibbs to settle down and get some rest.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Across town, Nick parked his car outside of the apartment building. Tim stopped in his tracks and looked up at his residence, seeing the lights on in the window.

Nick grabbed both of their bags with one hand, and put an arm around Tim’s shoulder. “She’s a strong woman. She’s fine. Your baby is fine. Delilah is very excited to have you home. We’re only here to support you. If you’re tired and need to sleep, we’re all going to understand. Just say the word and I’ll usher everyone else out the door. No worries, I’ll handle it.”

“I don’t think I could sleep right now.”

“Why are you hesitating?” Nick asked. “I can feel it. Like your feet are stuck in concrete and you can’t move.”

Tim’s voice dropped to nearly a whisper. “I don’t look like I did when I left.”

“Don’t even be thinking like that. Delilah loves you. Hell, she wasn’t in a wheelchair when you first met. Do you love her any less?”

“No, of course not.”

“Then how dare you think she’d feel differently about you. Why? Because you haven’t shaved in a few weeks and shed a few pounds? Give her some credit. The woman loves you. Growing a beard and losing a few pounds isn’t going to change that.”

“I feel like I’m messed up, in my head. I don’t feel like myself.”

“It will take time, but you’re going to be fine. Gibbs, too. You know what I’d be scared about if I were you right now?”

“What’s that?” asked Tim.

“I’d be scared to walk in there and tell her that Vance is sending you away. Tomorrow. I mean, Delilah just gets you back and you’re already going away again? Good luck with that.”

Tim smiled slightly and nodded as he reached for his pack. “Let’s go. I’m ready to see her. More than ready.”

Abby opened the door when they knocked and immediately wrapped her arms around Tim’s neck. “Oh my God! “

“Abby,” Delilah called from the kitchen. “Who is it?”

Tim held his index finger against his lips to silence Abby as Jimmy and Breena arose from the couch and gave him hugs.

“Abby?” Delilah called again. 

Tim dropped his pack by the door and walked into the kitchen. He saw Delilah busy chopping vegetables at one of the adjustable folding shelves they had added to the kitchen island. “I’m home,” he said at a whisper as he dropped to his knees beside her.

Putting down the knife, she turned slightly and hugged him. “Missed you so much,” she said with tears in her eyes. “I’m so glad you’re finally home. I was so afraid you’d never come home.”

Closing his eyes, Tim settled his head against her legs and tried to keep his breathing steady and even.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, just tired.”

“I can imagine.”

Raising his head, he took her hands into his own. “Director Vance is sending me and Gibbs to some retreat.”

“What? Why? Tim, you just got home.”

“I know, I know. Doctor Confalone suggested it. We’re not cleared for duty.”

“I get that, but why is he sending you away? You just got back after being held captive all summer.”

“I know. I’m sorry. The doctor felt it would be best for us to get away from DC. It shouldn’t be for long.”

“I need you here. Doesn’t he know I’m pregnant?”

“He knows. They just felt we’d get cleared faster if we can go away and just focus on getting fit for duty.”

“I’d like your focus to be here,” Delilah said, dropping her head and placing a hand against her belly. “I have news from our doctor.”

Tim looked worried. “Good news?”

“I found out the sex.”

Tim sucked in a deep breath and released it. “What is it? I want to know.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, yes! I didn’t think about anything else all summer; just worried about you and the baby. And if I’d ever get to eat a real meal again. But mostly, just you and the baby.”

Delilah waved him close and whispered in his ear. “It’s a girl, and a boy.”

Tim pulled away and frowned. “They can’t tell? It can’t be both. Can it?”

Smiling broadly, she nodded. “Twins.”

Tim fell back, landing seated on the floor, balanced with his hands. “What?”

She nodded again. “We’re having fraternal twins. A girl and a boy.”

“Oh wow. We’re going to have to move. We don’t have enough room.”

“We’re going to be fine. Let’s not worry about moving until after they’re born. I don’t think I could deal with that right now. Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. Sure.”

“It’s going to work out. Everything will be fine,” she assured him.

“I know. I have to leave tomorrow, but I will do everything I can to come back as soon as possible.”

Sniffling, she returned to chopping her vegetables. “I can’t believe he’s sending you away.”

“It’s hard on me, too. But I have every incentive in the world to work hard so I can come back to you as soon as possible. Dr. Confalone made a good case and the director signed off on it. It’s a done deal. But I will be back. I promise. I just can’t miss the birth. I won’t.”

“You’d better not.”

Abby came into the kitchen and helped carry platters out to the living room, where the group munched on snacks and chatted until nearly midnight. At that point, Nick cleared the room.

“Tim needs to rest up and since I’m sleeping on the couch, it’s time for you guys to clear off my bed unless you want to join me.”

Everyone hugged, wished Tim well, and promised to check in on Delilah during Tim’s absence.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Tony followed Gibbs down to the basement, where Gibbs returned to his latest project: a crib for Tim and Delilah’s baby.

“I don’t know where they’re going to put a baby in my old apartment,” said Tony as he sipped on the glass of bourbon Gibbs had poured for him.

“Go over there if you want to go. I won’t run off while you’re gone. I promise.”

“I’m fine. Besides, it’s late and Tim needs his rest.”

“We didn’t have much to do other than sleep,” said Gibbs.

“I know, but the beatings and lack of food had to have taken their toll on your system.”

“I’m fine,” Gibbs insisted, his voice betraying how worn out he truly was.

Standing up, Tony walked over to the workbench and scanned over some plans that were lying out. “What’s this?”

“Plans for a combination dresser and dressing table. It’s my next project after the crib.”

“That’s great. If I ever had kids, I think it would be nice to have handmade furniture. The stuff they mass produce now is crap.”

Gibbs chuckled softly. “You planning to have kids any time soon?”

“Me? No. I still haven’t found that right woman, or man, as the case may be.”

“Man?” Gibbs questioned.

Tony took another sip of bourbon and nodded. He hadn’t really meant to out himself. He didn’t let his mask slip often, but sometimes it was too easy to do around Gibbs. “Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t know. You seem to always know everything. I’m bi. Have been for years. I just hid the guys. I wasn’t sure how people at NCIS would react. I guess that’s why I pretended to be such a playboy, trying to throw people off. The only relationship I had in Rota was with a man, Rafael. He was young and handsome, but only after money. He was fun, but not someone I’d be in a long-term relationship with.”

Gibbs stared at Tony, studying him as if part of him thought Tony must be kidding, while the other part was sure Tony was being completely honest with him. “Because he’s a guy?”

“No, not that. Because he didn’t love me. He loved thinking I was a wealthy Americano and that he wouldn’t have to work if he was with me. He kept wanting to move in with me, and I wouldn’t let him.” Pausing, Tony laughed. “He still lives with his parents because he doesn’t want to have to work for a living. When he does work, it’s as a personal trainer. He was damn good looking, but looks aren’t everything.”

“No, they’re not.”

“I just really want to find someone who gets me, you know? I don’t care if it’s a man or a woman. I want someone who truly understands me and loves me for being Tony DiNozzo.”

“I had that once.”

“I know. With Shannon. Do you think you’ll ever find someone else?”

“I found three someone else’s. None of them felt right. Diane even called me on it. She said she knew I married her just to get over Shannon.”

“Then why did she marry you?”

Gibbs smiled slightly. “She said I was her Shannon. I don’t know why she said that. What Shannon and I had was different.”

“Mutual.”

“Exactly. I never found that again. Not really. I liked Diane; admired her. But she wasn’t the one.”

“I guess we’ll both have to keep looking.”

Shaking his head, Gibbs admitted, “I’m done. I can’t go through another divorce. They’re all terrible, and each one seems worse than the last. It really sucks the life out of you.”

“And here I thought it was only supposed to suck the wife out of your life.”

“You lose so much.” Glancing around the basement, he said, “I fought hard to keep this house. I gave up everything else, just to keep this house.”

“Lots of fond memories, I know.”

Gibbs kept working throughout the night, so Tony grabbed a sleeping bag and fell asleep on the concrete floor of the basement. 

When he woke up, Gibbs was gone and the light was off. Tony dashed upstairs to find Gibbs dressed in blue jeans, a T-shirt and his red hoodie, sitting at the table and absentmindedly rubbing his fingers over the scraggly, gray beard as he sipped his coffee and read a newspaper.

“Where’d that come from?” Tony asked.

“I took a walk to the pharmacy, bought it there.”

“I thought we’d go to the diner for breakfast.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

“Nick said he stopped by the diner for a meal and let them know you were out of the country.”

“Why?”

“He didn’t want them to think you were dead or mad at them. He just told them you were on a long-term assignment out of the country for a while.”

“Hmm,” Gibbs grunted as he flipped the page of his newspaper.

“Do you want to shave first?” Tony asked.

Gibbs’ eyes were bloodshot as he looked back at Tony. “I can shave later.”

Tony drove to the diner, and opened the door so Gibbs could enter first. He immediately caught the attention of Elaine, the waitress.

“Honey, it’s good to see you home!” she said, nodding to an open booth. “You two have a seat and I will set you up with a meal fit for a returning king.”

They’d barely slid into the booth when she set two cups of coffee down in front of them. “Guess they didn’t have razors wherever you went,” she said.

“I’m trying out a new look,” Gibbs replied.

“Seems like you didn’t have time to eat either. You are skin and bones. No worries though. We’ll have you right as rain in no time.”

“I have a flight out later today,” confessed Gibbs.

“What has gotten into your boss that he wants you hopping all over the globe all of a sudden?”

Gibbs laughed easily. “You know that’s classified.”

“Yeah, I know. We’ll still take care of you whenever you get back home. You know you’re one of my favorite customers.”

Minutes later, she dropped off two plates, each loaded with eggs, bacon and grits, along with toast. She refilled their coffee cups as needed and also brought them each a tall glass of orange juice. 

Tony hadn’t realized how hungry he was and gladly dug in. He was halfway through his meal when he noticed Gibbs had only taken a few bites. “I thought you were hungry.”

“This is more food than we had in a week for me and Tim to share. I wish I could eat more, but I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

Tony looked away, embarrassed. “Sorry. I remember Ducky warned you to watch your eating habits for a while. I’ve had more than I should. It’s just really delicious.”

Gibbs smiled weakly. “That’s why I eat here so often.”

“And I thought you came for the coffee,” teased Tony.

“Good food and good people.”

Gibbs reached for his wallet, but Tony waved him off. “I know you haven’t had time to get to the bank for cash. It’s my treat.”

Gibbs flipped open his wallet and discovered that his cash and credit cards were indeed missing. When he and Tim grabbed their wallets and passports from the ship’s office, they hadn’t had time to look through them. He considered they were lucky to have gotten them back at all. He rubbed his thumb over a picture of Shannon and Kelly.

After saying their farewells at the diner, they returned to Gibbs’ house to finish packing for their trip.

“When are you going back to Rota?” Gibbs asked.

Tony shook his head. “I’m not sure that I am. Vance reassigned someone else as team leader when he called me back to DC.”

Gibbs grunted out a muted, “He must have a plan for you.”

“I’m sure he has something awesome lined up for me. It’s okay. I’d give up anything to bring you and Tim home safely. No regrets. I’m here for you. Always.”

“Yeah, you’ve always had my six.”

“Always will.”


	4. Brookstone Ranch, Colorado

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Tony, Tim and Gibbs arrive at the retreat. Tim and Gibbs each have their first sessions with Dr. Stan Kroger._

Nick escorted Tim through the airport, standing aside while he checked his suitcase and got his boarding pass.

“You don’t need to babysit me,” Tim said.

“Yeah, I do. Director Vance’s orders.”

“I’m not a flight risk. All I would do is go back home to Delilah and I know you’d only find me and drag me back. I just want to get this over with so I can go home for good.”

“There’s Tony anyway, so you’re all set.”

After a quick exchange, Nick walked away. Tony guided them all through the line to check his and Gibbs’ bags and get their boarding passes.

“Where’s Dr. Grace?” asked Tim.

“I think she had an earlier flight,” Tony replied. “No worries. She’ll meet us at the ranch.”

“Ranch?” Gibbs questioned. “I thought it was a retreat.”

“It is. It’s a retreat at a ranch. They have cattle so I’m sure the steaks are awesome.”

“We get to eat steak?” Tim asked.

“Sure. All fine dining, I guess. Dr. Grace said they have nutritionists and they use fresh food and produce when they can.”

Tony took the aisle seat, to ensure he could keep track of the other two. Gibbs took the window seat and was asleep before they took off. Tim brought a book to read, but had trouble focusing on it. 

Tony caught Tim biting his fingernails and asked, “Got a new habit there McNibbler?”

“Nervous habit.”

“I’ve known you for over ten years. I’ve never seen you chewing on your fingernails before.”

“People change.”

“Some people. You’re going to be okay. Nothing to worry about,” Tony promised as he patted Tim’s leg.

“How messed up do they think we are? I feel fine.”

“You don’t look fine. No offense. I know you both very well, and it’s pretty clear that neither of you was being completely honest at the debriefing. We didn’t get the whole story. They want you to get it all out. Whatever _it_ is. You have to purge it all and deal with it so you can move on.”

“I’m fine,” insisted Tim. “I just want to go home to Delilah and have our babies.”

“Babies?”

Tim smiled. “She told me we’re having twins. A boy and a girl.”

“Are you kidding me? That’s awesome, Tim. Congratulations!”

“Thanks. I’m just saying, I have every reason in the world to get home.”

“Unlike Gibbs?” Tony asked.

“I didn’t say that.”

“So what’s the big secret? What happened? What aren’t you sharing?”

Tim glanced down, then turned away. “Nothing,” he said softly.

“You know I interrogate people for a living. I can tell you’re keeping something secret from us. Gibbs, too. Out with it, already.”

“There is nothing to tell; nothing to discuss.”

“If you want to get back to Delilah, either you need to come clean, or you need to become a much better liar. I can tell you’re acting squirrelly when pushed about it. Whatever _it_ is.”

Tim shook his head and groaned.

Once they landed and collected their suitcases, Tony led the way to a pickup point and located the ranch’s van. “That’s it, the white van that says _Brookstone Ranch_.”

They handed off their luggage to the van’s driver. “We’re waiting on a couple more people,” he said. “There’s a nice café over there. It’s more comfortable than the van.”

“How long is the wait?” Tony asked.

“A little over an hour. It’s over three hours back to the ranch, so we try to pick everyone up in one trip.”

Tony nodded and motioned to the café. “We can grab a bite while we’re waiting.”

They were surprised to find Dr. Grace inside working on a crossword puzzle. She looked up and smiled when they entered. “You made it! I’m so glad to see you guys.”

“I thought your flight was three hours ahead of ours,” said Tony.

“Yeah. But the choice is, wait for the van, pay a cab or rent a car. The van ride is free. You don’t even want to know what a cab or a rental would cost. The ranch is quite a ways out.”

“The driver said a couple hours.”

“More like three and a half. It’s pretty secluded.”

“I can see why they don’t want to make multiple trips each day.”

“Exactly. This is a great café. Nice and warm, too. Order something. I promise it’s good.”

“How many people are usually at the ranch?” Tony asked.

“They keep pretty busy,” Grace said as she filled in another word on her crossword puzzle. “I think their maximum capacity is around one hundred guests. Usually, it’s closer to fifty to eighty. Plus all the staff.”

“That’s a lot of people.”

“It is quite an operation.”

The trio walked up to the counter and gazed over the menu. Gibbs took his coffee strong and black, while Tim and Tony chose lattes. All three chose a sandwich and bag of chips. Gibbs and Tony each added a bowl of chili, while Tim opted for a thick vegetable beef soup. Just as Dr. Grace had said, the food was excellent.

Ninety minutes later, the van driver stepped into the café and waved to them, signaling that it was time to go. They all filed out to the van and got inside, along with seven other passengers, prepared for the long drive out to the ranch.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

None of them said a word, each man lost in his own thoughts. The first part of the drive wasn’t bad as it was on blacktop. The driver made a couple stops for bathroom breaks. Both were at rest areas where the facilities were more like permanent outhouses, sans running water.

Eventually, they turned onto a rocky side road. Even as slowly as the van was driving, the passengers were jostled quite a bit and were happy when they finally arrived at the ranch.

At first glance, it was very picturesque. There were mountains providing a stellar background, and lots of trees; even a brook running through the grounds just beyond a row of cabins. There was also a lodge, a separate dining hall and a few other buildings.

Gibbs’ eyes drifted over to the corral and stables. 

“You’ll get your chance,” said Dr. Grace. “But we have to check in first. This way.”

The van’s driver had placed all the luggage on the ground, then nodded to the lodge, where Dr. Grace was already headed. Tony, Tim and Gibbs grabbed their bags and hurried after her. As the other passengers located their luggage, they followed along to the lobby and lined up, waiting to check in.

There were three attendants at the front desk, so the check-in process moved along quickly. Dr. Grace was given a key. 

She then turned and picked up her suitcases. “I’ll see you boys later, after I get settled.”

Tony stepped up to the counter and was given a cabin number. 

The attendant explained, “Usually cabins are split between two people, so they only have two bedrooms, but the couch pulls out into a bed. There are extra sheets and pillows in the closest.” She pointed out which cabin it was on a map and directed them to the door. “Just keep going until you find it.”

“Is there a key?” Tony asked.

“We found that it’s easier not to have keys. A lot of our guests are stressed enough without worrying about keys. So, people are asked not to bring anything valuable, to label their things, and we do have security cameras. If someone goes into the wrong cabin, we’ll know.”

“Okay, then.”

“There’s a deadbolt on the inside if you want to make sure no one just walks in on you. The staff has master keys for the rooms and cabins. We’ve found it’s a lot easier.”

Tony nodded and led the way out of the lodge. The cabins were scattered around, some overlooking the brook and trees, others had a better view of the mountains. They were several feet apart. Tim and Gibbs noticed all the security cameras as they walked across a gravel pathway.

“At least she wasn’t lying about that,” said Gibbs.

“About what?” asked Tony.

Tim pointed out several cameras on tall posts. “They look high resolution, so they should be able to ID anyone who is in the wrong place.”

Tony looked around at the security cameras, then the fences, which someone could easily slip through as they were made to corral horses and cattle. “I wonder how they keep people from wandering off?”

“They must monitor the camera feeds. If anyone starts walking away, they probably know that, too, and stop them.”

“Guards,” said Tony, nodding toward three men standing around a hitching post near the porch. “See the radios?”

Gibbs and Tim glanced around. There did seem to be a few men watching where everyone went. The radios gave away that they weren’t regular guests. The men watched Tony, Tim and Gibbs as they walked to their cabin.

“That is an awful lot of security for such a secluded place,” said Gibbs.

“Must be a reason for it,” Tim added. 

“Maybe they have a gold mine or are hiding an alien spaceship,” teased Tony as they entered their cabin. “We’ll have to ask Dr. Grace about it.”

The cabin was small and sparsely furnished, but pleasant. The windows were set to provide a nice cross draft if opened. Each room had baseboard heaters and there was a larger gas heater in the great room. Most of the artwork depicted colorful wildflowers with mountains in the backgrounds. Other pictures featured Native Americans, cowboys, horses, rivers or eagles.

Tony inspected the bedrooms and found they were the same size, but set up slightly differently. Each had an emergency exit that was alarmed. “Interesting,” he said. “No deadbolt on these. I’ll bet these can be entered with a master key, so a patient can’t really deadbolt themselves inside. The staff would always have access.”

Gibbs dropped his bag in the room that had a window overlooking the horse pasture, while Tim entered the room that overlooked the brook, and then glanced back at Tony.

“You take the room,” Tony said. “I’m here for you guys.”

“Are you sure?” asked Tim.

“Yeah, I’ll take the couch. I was planning on it. That way I can make sure neither of you goes sneaking out in the middle of the night.”

There was a table with four chairs, but no kitchen. There was a coffee maker and also a small refrigerator, in which Tony found an array of beverages. Three bookcases were in the main room, two filled with books, and one filled with games and several decks of cards, along with a few more books.

“No television,” mentioned Tony as he poked through the closets. He found all the bedding he could need, including blankets and comforters. The last room he checked was the bathroom. There was no tub, just a shower that was smaller than he liked.

He was happy to find that there was a dresser in the great room, so he put his things away, then stowed his suitcase and go bag in the closet.

Dr. Grace knocked on the door before entering. “I hope you’re all decent,” she called as she stepped inside the cabin.

“Sure, come on in,” said Tony. “We’re just making ourselves at home.”

“First off, don’t freak out about the security. It’s for your safety.”

“How do they afford it all? It must cost a fortune.”

“The same way they afford me. I get to stay for free, and I offer my professional services at no charge. Most of the security guards are retired cops. If they’re married, their wives or husbands are probably here as cooks or housekeeping. Many also help with odd maintenance jobs around the ranch, like painting and mending fences and railings, or gardening. Others help with the horses and cattle. There is a lot of work to be done.”

“So, the staff is pretty much voluntary?”

“Yeah. In fact, many of the guests also work in order to defray the costs.”

Tony’s stomach sank. “I’m already working. It’s my job to watch Gibbs and Tim.”

“Of course it is. But that’s part of how I sold this to Vance.” 

Tony called toward the bedrooms, “Tim, Gibbs, Dr. Grace is here to ruin our day.”

She rolled her eyes. “Work is good therapy.”

“Hey, I don’t need therapy, Doc. I’m just here doing my job,” said Tony, nodding to Gibbs and Tim as they walked into the room.

“What, we’re working here?” asked Tim, his eyes growing wide.

“Take a seat, I’ll fill you in,” said Dr. Grace as she sat at the table. Once they were all settled, she continued. “Tim, I know you saw all the security cameras.”

“Yeah.”

“They haven’t had an IT guy out here since everything was installed. So, your job is to go through their computer system and network to make sure everything is running smoothly and is secure. All of their patient files need to be safe from tampering and from prying eyes. They occasionally get some well-known clientele here and if someone got into their files, it would be very bad publicity.”

“I can do that,” Tim said with a smile. “I’d be happy to.”

“Gibbs, I know people aren’t your thing, but I thought animals might be. You get to help with the horses.”

Gibbs nodded and glanced out the window.

“Tony, you’re going to be a chambermaid.”

Tony’s expression dropped as Tim and Gibbs both chuckled.

“I’m just teasing. You’re going to be part of the security team. You’re already watching out for these two. Now you’ll watch out for a few other people as well. I’m going to fill in Tim and Gibbs on their therapy schedules. You can go back up to the lodge and ask for Zach Chandler. He’ll fill you in on the security details.”

A few minutes later, Tony was introduced to Zach. The two shook hands, then Tony followed the younger man out to a porch. As they chatted, Tony watched several people as they were walking around the compound.

“Busy place,” he mentioned.

“Yeah, it can be. Our mission is two-fold,” Zach began. “First is to ensure safety, the second is to stop any crimes from happening. Sometimes they overlap.”

“Get a lot of crime out here?”

“No, not really. We’ll all work a schedule, and most of the work is done through security cameras. Everything is lit up at night, so it’s easy to catch any movement. People are here to get better, but some just want to get away. It’s not safe for people to leave the ranch on their own. There are a lot of dangers out there.”

“Bears?”

“Wildlife is one, but it often gets cold especially at night, so hypothermia could be an issue. There is a river nearby. If a patient follows that brook down to the river, they could be in serious trouble. It’s swift and cold.”

“So that’s the biggest thing, watching for people trying to leave?”

Zach smiled and shook his head. “Actually, our biggest job is watching out for horny teenagers. Teens are in the dorms, boys on one side of the compound, girls on the other. They’re situated so there is no reason for any females to be near the male dorm, and no males should be anywhere near the female dorm. Every building was designed not to have hiding spots. But, they try. The teens and young adults in their twenties are the ones we have to really watch out for. Then safety. Some people just wander off alone. We have a lot of people here who just aren’t thinking properly for whatever reason, some are suicidal. They’re all monitored closely and encouraged to join in group activities.”

“Got it. Horny teens and safety.”

“Once in a while, we get someone who tries to go into someone else’s dorm or cabin. Sometimes they’re just curious. Sometimes they have a compulsion for taking things that aren’t theirs. That’s why the cabins are so far apart. Everyone here is photographed, and each photo is posted in the security office where the cameras are monitored at all times.”

“Horny teens, safety, petty crimes, and I won’t forget those just deciding to check out early without permission.”

“What’s your background, Tony?”

“I was a beat cop for a few years, then worked my way up to detective before moving on to NCIS, where I spent about fifteen years as the senior field agent for the major crimes response team before I accepted a team lead position in Rota, Spain.”

“Oh, wow. I’m impressed. I was in the Marines for six years before coming back home.”

“Where’s home for you?”

Zach glanced around. “This is it. I spent most of my tour over in the Middle East. I’ve had my fill of desert. I couldn’t wait to come home to the mountains.”

“You own the ranch?”

“My parents do. This land has been in our family for five generations and now my parents own it. It used to be a just a cattle ranch when I was a kid. My Dad’s brother served and came back with PTSD. He was a mess. My dad wanted to help him. My aunt is a psychiatrist so Dad invited her out here to help, too. It was a family effort. That’s how the retreat started. Then he asked if other members of this team could come out for treatment. At first, they had all these ideas, but the cattle ranch was barely breaking even. They started the retreat up as a non-profit and asked for donations and volunteers to help run it. Some employees are completely voluntary while others get about fifty bucks a week just to have a little spending cash.”

“But they all get room and board included?”

“Yeah. We also receive some donations to help with the buildings. We started taking on other traumas, and drug rehabs, but our focus is on military families. We serve good healthy food and have group activities that include hiking, art, birdwatching, yoga, fitness and horseback riding. We teach about history, trees, flowers and wildlife. Our goal is to get people to slow down and address their issues.”

“It’s all sounds great, really,” said Tony. “I think it’s fantastic.”

“Thank you. We still handle a lot of PTSD cases. We get donations to cover the some of the expenses for people to come here. And we try to let people work off some of the cost. That keeps our expenses down, plus we’ve found that having a job to do is a great focus for some people. And there is always a ton of work to do around here. There’s not really much need for security, so mostly the guys hang out and chat.”

“We did see a group of guys on the porch when we first arrived. We noticed the radios.”

“The radios just make it easy to stay in touch and get the word out quickly if we need help. If we have a project needing to get done, we send a few guys over to help out. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself doing various odd jobs like clearing weeds from pathways, or painting. It’s not all glamorous, but it needs to be done. There’s something for everyone here.” 

“Yeah, Tim’s eyes lit up when he found out he was going to get some IT time in.”

“That was a new one on us, but when Dr. Grace suggested it, it made perfect sense. Anything he can do to sharpen our security will be appreciated, and our computers are getting older, and slower. Maybe he can help speed them up.”

“If anyone can optimize your system, it’s Tim. He has a degree in computer forensics from MIT.”

“That’s impressive. Glad to have you both on board. It’s great to have people with experience like you.”

“Did Dr. Grace fill you in that I’m already working? I was sent to watch over Gibbs and Tim.”

“Yeah. And it will work out perfectly. While they’re working or having their sessions and group activities, you’ll be working security. All you have to do is widen your focus a little bit. And we’re all going to help watch over Tim and Gibbs, so if you have to go help someone else, please know that they will be safe.”

“Thanks, Zach. I appreciate that.”

Back in the cabin, Dr. Grace went over schedules with Gibbs and Tim. “If you rather work with someone else, I’ll understand. You won’t hurt my feelings.”

Gibbs smiled uncomfortably. “I’m fine, Doc.”

“No, you’re not. I’m not going to clear you for field duty until I’m convinced you’re ready.”

“I am ready.”

“That’s not for you to decide. I will be here for two weeks. Then I will return to DC.”

“I’ll be ready to go in two weeks,” Gibbs insisted.

“I’m not convinced. You’ve both been through a very traumatic event. It’s going to take time. It may even be better for you to not have to switch when I leave. But whatever it is that you’re keeping bottled up, you need to get it off your chests and discuss it with someone. How about we set up some sessions with me and others with another doctor?”

“Since we went through the same thing, are we going to share our sessions?” asked Tim.

“No. You’ll both have private sessions, and optional group sessions. There are other things to do. We have a lot of art, history and nature classes.”

Gibbs glanced out the window again. “And horses.”

Dr. Grace nodded. “Yeah. They offer trail rides and still move the cattle by horseback. They’re also a horse rescue. Maybe you can help a horse that needs special attention.”

“Maybe.”

“They may even let you help chop some wood. I understand you enjoy that.”

“It’s a gas stove,” said Gibbs.

“That’s true for the guest cabins. They’re afraid someone may start a fire and decided the gas and electric heaters were a better option for guests. But the owners still have wood-burning stoves. Tim?”

“Yeah?”

“You can check in with Zach whenever you want to. And Gibbs, the son who runs the stables goes by Buck. Just follow your schedule for work, meals, activities and sessions and you’re both going to do fine.”

Gibbs glanced down at the schedule she’d placed on the table and grunted.

“And no going AWOL. They keep track of everyone here. It’s for your own safety.”

Dr. Grace walked with Tim to introduce him to Zach, while Gibbs headed toward the stables on his own.

Tony tagged along as Zach took Tim to look at the security center. Tim was instantly in awe of all the monitors.

“It’s our duty to keep everyone safe,” said Zach. “We’re excited to have you take a look at our file encryption system. We’d like to be sure it’s safe and secure. Our computers that are used to file and store our guests’ information are not hooked into the internet, for security purposes.”

“That should be safe enough.”

“Some of the computers are older, so anything you can do to get them to work better would be appreciated.”

“But there are some computers here with internet access?” Tim asked.

“Yeah, of course. Our business computers, and those used at the front desk to check people in. We use those to email clients. There are a few computers in the main lodge for our guests’ use. We do limit the access as we prefer people to engage in other activities. But everyone is encouraged to stay in touch with their friends and families, even if they prefer email to writing letters.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Across the compound, Gibbs let himself through a gate, closing it behind him, poked around the barns and spent some time patting the horses. When he noticed a couple guys watching him, he walked over and introduced himself.

“Gibbs,” he said simply. “I’m looking for Buck.”

“You found him,” said a man close to Gibbs’ age. “This is my son, Billy.”

Gibbs shook hands with both men. The son looked to be well into his twenties. “Dr. Grace said I’d be helping with the horses.”

“Sure, we can always use more hands. Most of the horses and cattle stay out in the pastures. We haven’t had much trouble and there are always a couple guys watching the cattle at night. We still feed the horses, work with them and saddle a few for trail rides each day. We take our own guests, plus we sometimes have people from nearby campgrounds or cabin rentals come over for a ride. We also keep the fences mended.”

“I can do that. I do a bit of woodworking as a hobby,” said Gibbs.

“Some of the fencing is wood, most is barbed wire. Come along, I’ll show you around. We’re so far out that we do our own vet and farrier work.” The man put an arm around his son’s shoulder. “This young man just graduated with a veterinary degree in large animals.”

“That’s great.”

Billy motioned toward a row of stalls. “We have some horses that were rescued. Some just weren’t cared for. Others were injured and the owners couldn’t afford the vet bills, but didn’t want to put them down. We can’t take them all in, but we do what we can. Once they’re rehabbed, we find them good homes, or use them here as riding horses. We don’t do much breeding because we get so many traumatized and injured horses in.”

“Are they safe to use for trail rides?” Gibbs asked.

“Not all of them. Some are only to be ridden by experienced riders. Some of the injured horses are docile and easy to handle. They just need some recovery time. We’ve had several that were caught up in barbwire or downed trees. Some were just beaten or starved. We’re willing to give them a chance.”

Buck looked Gibbs over and asked, “What sort of experience do you have with horses?”

“I grew up in a small town. My best friend lived on a farm and showed me how to ride and how to take care of horses. Then my daughter got the horse bug. I used to take her riding when I could. I can handle a horse.”

“Let’s see what you got. See the little blood bay out there? Why don’t you bring him in, saddle him up and take him for a spin? His name is Salsa.”

Gibbs didn’t say anything as he grabbed a halter. Salsa was easy enough to catch, and walked at his side willingly. After a quick brushing, Gibbs saddled and bridled the horse, then set him through his paces.

Buck and Billy nodded their approval. 

“Come on down after breakfast tomorrow and we’ll show you how to feed and take care of the horses. If you’re willing to give one of the rescue horses a chance, we’re happy to let you work with one or two. They need a lot of attention and some of them respond better when they can bond with one person.”

“Sure. I’m willing to give it a shot.”

“Good. We’ll see you in the morning.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

After they each had an introduction to the ranch, they returned to their cabin. Tony kept an eye on the other two. Tim seemed intrigued with the security system and was ready to dig in and see how it was all set up. Gibbs had been quiet; nothing new there. But after his visit to the stables, he seemed somewhat happier and more relaxed.

Tony reviewed the schedules Dr. Grace had given to Gibbs and Tim. They each had some sessions with her, but also sessions with Dr. Stanley Kroger. At least the three of them were assigned the same meal times. Best of all, he wasn’t on housekeeping duty. Even thinking about it made him groan. “That would have sucked,” he mumbled.

The security detail was much more interesting to him, even if the other guys on the team told him it was pretty boring and they were often tapped for other things.

Tony walked with Tim to meet Dr. Kroger. As he introduced himself, he observed that the doctor was a couple years older than Gibbs, physically fit, graying with a mustache and goatee. Glancing back to Tim, he noted the facial hair was still there. Gibbs hadn’t shaved either. Tony shrugged. Maybe they didn’t have time? He made a mental note to address it later.

“Did you have a question?” Dr. Kroger asked. 

“Not really, Doc.”

“We’re informal here. You may call me Stan if you’d like.”

“Thanks, Doc. I’m Tony. I work with Tim and Gibbs and was part of their rescue team. I’m here to ensure their safety and for moral support.”

“Come on in and we’ll get started.”

Tony followed Tim into the room which had a couch, a loveseat and three chairs. He hadn’t planned to stay, but since he was invited, it occurred to him that maybe it would help if he knew exactly what went on while Tim and Gibbs had been held captive.

Tim and Stan each took a chair, while Tony made himself comfortable on the sofa.

Stan picked up a notepad, and looked over to Tony. “As you are here for moral support, you will only be observing and should not be interacting. I’ll ask questions and Tim will respond.”

“And I am going to stay quiet,” said Tony as he made a motion to lock his lips and toss the key.

The session started slowly with Tim insisting he was perfectly fine and just wanted to get home to Delilah and be there when the babies were born. Dr. Kroger continued to push, questioning Tim about his captivity. 

“Were you abused at all?”

“We were barely fed. They gave us scraps from their plates. Some days all we had were a handful of beans to split between us and a couple cups of water. Sometimes they gave us the leftover chicken bones from what they’d already eaten; just bones with scraps of meat. Sometimes we had a few raisins, bits of rice, bread or cornbread. It was tough.”

“How about physically?”

Tim swallowed hard and his voice softened. “Gibbs had it far worse than me. They beat us both, but he got it worse. They tortured him. They made me watch.”

“How did you feel about that?”

“I was horrified. They would tie my wrists together, then use a hook and pulley to lift my arms over my head. I was helpless. All I could do was to beg them to stop.”

“But they didn’t stop?”

“No. I would yell myself hoarse some days. They would punch me in the ribs and stomach. But I just couldn’t stand there watching and not say something.”

Dr. Kroger paused to scribble some notes. “Were you sexually abused?”

Tim looked shocked at the question, then quickly answered, “No, never. Just the beatings, and lack of food.”

“How did you get away?”

“Gibbs came up with a plan. I’m good with computers. He said when they were torturing him, I should offer to help with their computers if they would stop the beatings, and give me some food.”

“Your captors took you up on that offer?”

“Yeah. They took me to their main computer and asked me to hook up a printer and get it to work. I was able to access their network and set an alarm to go off about an hour later.”

“Did they give you food?”

“Yeah, and they intentionally led Gibbs by right me when I was eating this huge burrito. It was just a few seconds after they brought it in. I’d only taken a bite or two when they brought Gibbs by. It was perfect.”

“Why is that?”

“The original plan was when they returned me to the room where they were holding us, Gibbs was going to say he smelled food on my breath. It made it even better that he saw me actually eating the burrito, since we’d only been given scraps all summer. When they took me back to the room, he attacked me.”

“And that was part of the plan?”

“Yeah. When the guards came over to separate us, we took their weapons. Gibbs grabbed a knife and slit their throats. We were able to get to the main office before the alarm went off. I got a call out on a satellite phone and Ellie, she’s on our team at NCIS, was able to push an app to the phone so they could trace it and find our location.”

“And that led to your rescue?”

“Exactly. The boss came into the room and we jumped him. Gibbs took his hat and clothes, then put a burlap sack over his head, like they had done to us. Gibbs found our guns, so we were armed. It looked like the boss was taking us through the hallway.”

“And this boss was dressed in Gibbs’ clothes?”

“Yes. My wrists were loosely bound and I was in front. Gibbs had his gun on the boss. He had the hat on, and kept his head down, so no one even noticed in the dim lighting they had. It didn’t have to work for long before the alarm I set went off. Then everything got crazy. People were running to the top deck and jumping off the boat. No one paid any attention to us.”

“Was it a fire alarm?”

Tim smiled. “Contamination alarm. They were working with uranium.”

“Were you rescued that same night?” 

“It was still daylight. Maybe early evening. They came and got us. Tony was leading the rescue efforts so he was there with a helicopter. They took us back to a rescue ship, then we were flown to a base where a plane was waiting to bring us home. We spent all day in debriefing at NCIS, then we had one night at home before we came here.”

“You say you feel fine. Why do you think they brought you here?”

Tim looked down and glanced away, then looked out the window into a courtyard garden before answering. “I don’t know. They say they think I’m holding something back.”

“Are you? Is there something you haven’t shared?”

“Not really. I’m fine. I just want to go home to my wife. We were separated all summer. It’s important for me to be there when our children are born.”

Dr. Kroger smiled. “I will do my best to get you back home.”

“Thanks, Doc.”

As Dr. Kroger was escorting them to the lobby, they found that Gibbs was there, waiting for his session. A handful of other people were waiting for their own sessions, most reading books or magazines, others were playing handheld video games. Gibbs looked up and dropped his magazine when he saw Tim and Tony appear.

“I sat in with Tim,” said Tony. “Do you want me to sit in with you?”

Rising from his seat, Gibbs strode quickly passed Tony. “Not likely.”

Dr. Kroger flashed a small smile, then followed after Gibbs. “Go down the next hallway, and my office is the third one.”

Gibbs studied the architecture. It was a single story building, with a lobby area at one end. Each of the twelve offices had windows that overlooked the same courtyard garden. Gibbs made himself comfortable in the same chair that Tim had used. 

He glanced out to the garden, and asked, “Are people allowed to go out there?”

“No,” said Dr. Kroger. “It’s supposed to be healing to look out on live foliage. The trees and bushes are situated so we can’t see into another office. They wanted patients to be able to see outside, but didn’t want anyone walking by the windows and disrupting sessions or making people uncomfortable. The plants are tended to early in the morning before sessions begin.”

“Well, I’m not uncomfortable. I’m fine.”

“Tell me about your time in captivity.”

“Not much to tell,” said Gibbs with a dismissive shrug.

“You do realize I just had a session with Tim?”

“Then you must already know everything that happened.”

“I want to hear it from you. Despite the protests staged by you and Agent McGee, your director feels that you are not currently fit for field duty. Convince me otherwise.”

“I told you, I’m fine,” Gibbs insisted firmly.

“That will be for me to decide. I can’t make that decision until you talk about your ordeal.”

Gibbs scratched at his scruffy facial hair. “I’d been through worse as a Marine.”

“Were you ever captured when you served?”

“No, but I saw action.”

“What did you do in the Marine Corps?” 

Gibbs squirmed slightly in the chair. “I was a sniper, Gunnery Sergeant.” 

“Tell me about your recent capture.”

Chuckling anxiously, Gibbs looked out to the garden before turning back and replying, “Well, I got captured.”

“Intentionally?”

“What do you mean?”

“I have some knowledge of the incident. Did you stay back on purpose?”

Slowly nodding, Gibbs admitted, “Not to get captured. I wanted to give my team enough time to get everyone away safely.”

“You knew once the helicopter took off, you were either going to be captured or killed, right?”

With a smile, he said, “I can still run pretty fast. All I had to do is elude them and hide until it was dark. Then I’d be home free.”

“What happened? Tim stayed with you.”

Gibbs shook his head and clasped his hands. “I thought I was alone.”

“Go on,” Stan urged.

“I heard the helicopter taking off and thought they were all clear. I heard it fading into the distance. Then Tim was there, beside me.”

“And you were captured together?”

“The ammo ran out. Tim gave up. We were surrounded, but I still fought hand-to-hand. I had my knife.”

“Do you resent Tim for giving up?” Stan asked as he jotted down a few notes.

“No. He did what he had to do. I’m a trained Marine he isn’t. He has a pregnant wife at home.”

“How were you treated in captivity?”

“Not much food or water. They kept us locked up in a small room.”

“Did they ever take you out of the room?”

Gibbs shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“What happened when they took you out?”

“They beat us and tried to get information. I wasn’t going to tell them anything.”

“Were you worried that Tim would crack?”

“Worried? No, not worried. We were locked into the same room, so we talked about things. We had a lot of time to talk. There wasn’t much else to do; just eat, sleep, talk or stare at the wall.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Surviving. Getting back home,” Gibbs disclosed.

“Were you tortured?”

“Sometimes.”

“How did you cope?”

“I just ignored it. I thought about other things. I tuned them out.”

“What did you think about?”

“My wife and daughter…”

“You’re married?”

“Not anymore. They were killed a long time ago. Shannon witnessed a murder and was going to testify. They were taken out.”

“I’m sorry. What else did you think about?”

“My job. My team. Tony.”

“That’s good, that you found ways to keep your mind occupied.”

“I had to do something.”

“How did you escape?”

“We came up with a plan. Tim was going to get into their computer system and try to send an email to our forensic scientist in DC. We thought she could track it.”

“Did she?”

“I’m not sure. We used the plan as a distraction and were able to get to a satellite phone. Tim called Ellie, another member of our team. She was able to trace the coordinates from the phone and sent Tony and Torres to get us.”

“How did you feel about the rescue?”

“I was happy to be back to DC. I’m ready to get back to work, Doc.”

“Let me be the judge of that. Your director debriefed you and felt you were not completely forthright.”

“We told him what happened; the stuff that mattered.”

“Well, that’s our time for today. I want you to think hard about everything. You’re going to have to come clean and talk about everything that happened, and how it made you feel, if you want to get back into the field.”

Gibbs huffed as he rose to his feet. Dr. Kroger escorted him back to the lobby and found that Tony was still waiting for him.

“I got him, Doc,” said Tony.

Gibbs kept walking and Tony followed after him, and asked, “How was it?’

“How was what?” Gibbs asked.

“Your session.”

“Can’t talk about it.”

“Yeah, you can. _He_ isn’t supposed to discuss it. But you can.”

“He knew things. Things he shouldn’t know.”

“You do realize that he got a report from Director Vance, right?”

“No, I didn’t,” Gibbs snapped.

“Vance sent in some background information. Nothing restricted. So, Dr. Kroger knows you were held captive, but he doesn’t know where, and doesn’t know anything about the mission other than you and Tim were captured.”

“Of course he doesn’t, it’s classified,” said Gibbs as he paused at a pasture fence, looking over a handful of horses grazing in the field.

“You’re going to have to open up about it, if you want to get back to work. Vance is concerned.”

“I don’t give a rat’s ass about Vance.”

“Really?” Tony asked. “He’s still our boss. It’s up to him to take you back or not. What would you do without NCIS?”

“I can still build things.”

“That keeps your hands busy. You need something to keep your mind busy.”

“I could always go join the Sherlocks.”

Tony stared at Gibbs for a couple minutes. “You’re kidding.”

“Maybe.”

“I can’t imagine you working with my dad. I can’t believe the Sherlocks took him in.”

“He needed something to do.”

“So do you. Are those horses friends of yours?” Tony asked, nodding toward the field.

Gibbs pointed out a large bay, “That one is Tambour. Buck assigned him to me for my stay. He’s a rescued mustang that was too much horse for the family who adopted him. He needs a lot more interaction with people, so I’m going to ride him daily.”

“He’s a nice looking horse.”

“They tried to keep him in a stall and didn’t let him out enough. He needs to run.”

“I’m glad you have a project here.”

“He’s not my project. See that gray horse?”

“Yeah, seems friendly with Tambour.”

“They seem to pal around a bit. His name is Whisper. He was beaten and starved. He needs someone to work with him and teach him that all people aren’t bad.”

“Good. I’m glad you have a project. You have something in common with him already.”

“What’s that?”

“The whole beaten and starved thing. I guess that gives you a special understanding of each other.”

“Maybe. We’ll see.”


	5. Serve and Protect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Gibbs spends time with the horses, Tambour and Whisper, while Dr. Kroger pushes for answers._

Gibbs spent hours standing at the fencepost watching Whisper and Tambour. He studied how they moved, how were they rarely more than a few feet apart, and how they nuzzled and cared for each other. Tambour was always watchful if another horse approached Whisper. If any other horse was aggressive with Whisper, Tambour’s ears would flatten and he’d go into protective mode. He’d charge at the attacker with teeth barred, frightening the other horse away.

Tony would sometimes check up on Gibbs, and stand beside him at the fence as he studied the horses. “I bet that’s how you were with Tim.” 

“What?” Gibbs asked.

“If anyone came at Tim, you would go after them. You would protect Tim.”

“It’s my job.”

“You and Tambour are a lot alike.”

Gibbs smiled. Tambour was a handsome horse; big, bold and confident.

“Are you ever planning on shaving?” asked Tony.

Gibbs rubbed his fingers over the scruff on his face. “Everything has been so rushed. I hadn’t had the time.”

“We can do it now if you’d like. I’ll help you,” he offered.

Gibbs thought for a moment, then nodded and turned toward the cabin.

Tony walked at his side. “I miss seeing your face.”

“They didn’t let us shave on the ship. Our captors didn’t shave either, that I could tell. Only El Jefe.”

“The boss?”

“The man we captured and brought back with us.”

“He’s some bigwig businessman, Sebastián Mateo. We took custody of the ship and found all the uranium. He should be in prison for the rest of this life,” said Tony.

“Where he belongs.”

“He’s being charged with abducting and holding two federal agents. That should be enough before they even get to the uranium charges.”

Back in the cabin, Tony Gibbs settled at the table and brought over a pair of scissors. “I’ll trim it down for you, then you can shave. Okay?”

“Sure.”

Their close proximity caused Tony’s cock to take notice. He adjusted it surreptitiously, and blushed when it accidentally brushed against Gibbs’ arm. He hoped Gibbs hadn’t noticed, but thought that was unlikely. At least the man didn’t make an embarrassing comment about it.

Tony was still bent over Gibbs when Tim returned to the cabin. Tim just froze in the doorway, staring at them, unsure of what he had walked in on.

“Close the door, please,” said Tony. “If you want a trim you can be next.”

“Trim?” questioned Tim.

“Yeah, I’m trimming up his facial hair so he can shave.”

Tim’s hand went to his own face, and he felt around his own facial hair. “I’m thinking about keeping mine.”

“What? You look like a McYeti.”

“I’ve always wanted to grow a beard. Just never had the time before,” said Tim.

“It makes you look rather McVillainous.”

“I like it,” Tim insisted.

Tony shook his head. “You need a few more sessions.”

“Why? You think I’m mental because I like having facial hair?” Tim spat back, fuming.

Tony continued calmly trimming down Gibbs’ beard. “If you want to keep it, go for it. It’s your face.” Turning back to Gibbs, he said, “That’s as close as I can get with the scissors. Go ahead and see what your razor does. You did pack a razor, right?”

Gibbs shook his head. 

“No? Use mine. It’s in the bathroom.”

As Gibbs stood up, Tony brushed off the stray trimmed whiskers, before grabbing the broom and dustpan from the closest. Glancing over to Tim, he said, “You should at least trim that mess up a bit. You look like a McMountainMan.”

Tim ran his hand over his facial hair again. “Yeah, okay.”

“Have a seat. I’ll trim and you can tell me when it’s close enough.”

After a few minutes, Gibbs returned to the room clean shaven and Tim headed to the bathroom to use the razor. A few minutes later, he reappeared, having shaved the sides, leaving just the mustache and goatee.

“Good,” said Tony. “Now we all look presentable for dinner. A few healthy meals and you guys will be as good as new.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

The next morning, Gibbs invited Tim and Tony to go for a ride. He saddled Tambour, Salsa and a tall pinto named Banjo. He handed Banjo’s reins to Tony and helped Tim mount Salsa.

“You help him and not me?” Tony asked.

“You’ve had more experience with horses.”

“You mean Arizona?”

“You took riding lessons as a kid. Your dad told me. He said you rode thoroughbred jumpers. He said you even won a few ribbons at shows.”

Tony smiled and shook his head.

“Why do you do that?” Gibbs asked as he led the way to a trailhead.

“Do what?”

“Act. You act a lot. You pretend you don’t know things or can’t do something when you’re actually quite adept.”

“I don’t know. Sometimes I like to study people,” Tony said as he reined Banjo in line behind Tambour. “I like to size them up before I let them know what I can do.”

Gibbs pulled Tambour to a stop and motioned for Tony to move Banjo alongside him. “You don’t have to pretend with me,” he snarled before moving Tambour forward.

“Yeah, okay. Sorry, Boss.”

“I’m not your boss. These days, it seems like you’re mine.”

Shaking his head, Tony said, “No, not at all. I’m your escort; your security detail. Serve and protect.”

“Uh huh. When are they going to let us go home?”

Tim nudged Salsa closer, so he could hear the conversation better.

“I’m not the one you need to convince. It’s in Dr. Kroger’s hands.”

“Or when the money runs out?”

“I really don’t know. Vance just thought it would be better for you guys to be away from DC. Dr. Grace thought this would help clear your heads. It was her idea.”

“I just want to go home to Delilah,” said Tim.

“Then whatever your big secret is, you need to get it off your chest and talk about it. You have to discuss your MOAS.”

Gibbs stared at him blankly.

“Mother of all secrets,” Tony explained. “We all have them. I’ll bet you are both sitting on a MOAS from your time in captivity. ”

“There’s nothing to discuss. We’re fine,” insisted Tim.

“You seem a bit bottled up there McBitter.”

“I’m not bitter.”

“Are you sure? Whatever it is, you don’t need to tell me.”

“Good, because I wasn’t going to.”

“But you do need to tell Dr. Kroger, if you ever want to get back into the field.”

Tim remained quiet, as they rode, while Tony extolled the beauty of the mountains.

“If you weren’t so bottled up, Timmy, you could enjoy this a bit more,” teased Tony.

“I’m not bottled up.”

“You need a corkscrew to pop your cork and let it flow.”

“The joke is over, Tony.”

“I don’t think so, McBubbly.”

Leading the way, Gibbs smiled. It was good having Tony back with them again. The familiar warm feelings came ebbing back over him.

Over the past few days, Gibbs had ridden some of the trails with Buck, Billy or one of the other wranglers. This trail took a couple hours, and was picturesque. It was one of the main trails used for rides. 

While they saw another group of fifteen out riding, they were on a different trail, some distance away. 

Gibbs’ eyes were frequently scanning over the mountains. Tony reined Banjo alongside him. 

“How long would it take to ride up there?” asked Tony, nodding to the upper portion of a mountain.

“Most of the day. Maybe six hours or so. Depends on how far you go and how long you stay.”

“We should do that sometime. We could pack a picnic lunch and take a long ride up into the mountains.”

Gibbs nodded. “I can talk to Buck about the best mountain trails. They occasionally do overnight trips.”

“Camping in the mountains?”

“Just like the cowboys used to do it.”

“Have you ever seen _Brokeback Mountain_?”

“Don’t think so.”

By the time the trio returned to the stables, Tony was smiling, looking rather refreshed. Gibbs seemed deep in thought, while Tim appeared a bit upset. Whisper whinnied from the corral as he trotted along the fence line, and Tambour answered.

Tony unsaddled Banjo and put the saddle, saddle pad, and bridle where Gibbs directed him to, then he released the pinto horse back into the pasture. Tim had watched what Tony did and managed to get the saddle off of Salsa. Gibbs had already released Tambour, who went galloping off to see Whisper. He then took Salsa by the bridle and let him out in the pasture as well.

After quick showers back at the cabin, they all went to the dining building for lunch. 

“You seem upset, Tim. Is everything okay?” Tony asked as they sat together.

“It’s nothing,” he insisted. “I’m fine.”

“You are clearly not _fine_.”

“Just drop it, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Dr. Stan Kroger met Tim in the lobby for his two o’clock appointment. “Looks like you got a little sun this morning.”

“Yeah,” Tim admitted as he followed Stan down the hallway. “We went riding.”

“We?”

“Gibbs, Tony and I.”

“Nice. Do you like to ride?”

“I’ve only ridden a couple of times. I was always more into computers than doing outdoors things. But Gibbs likes it a lot.”

Dr. Kroger closed his office door and motioned to the chairs. Tim sat in the same chair each time he was there.

“What about Tony?” Dr. Kroger asked.

Tim rolled his eyes. “I don’t know. He’s been riding before. They’re talking about taking a daylong ride up into the mountains, or maybe camping out.”

“There are some amazing views up there.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Tim and Gibbs both kept up their appointments with Dr. Kroger, and they also each met with Dr. Grace twice each week, which mostly entailed her being disappointed that they hadn’t opened up, and reiterating that they needed both her and Dr. Kroger’s approval before they could qualify to get back out in the field.

Stan and Grace were friendly with each other and occasionally met over coffee. 

“I was hoping they’d be a little more forthcoming,” Grace said as she warmed her hands on her coffee mug. “Gibbs is definitely a tough nut to crack. I thought Tim would be easier.”

“I’m getting close,” Stan assured her. “I don’t want to push too hard. They’re both obviously traumatized by whatever they went through as captives.”

“I can’t even imagine how horrible it must have been. Have they discussed it at all; their time in captivity?”

Stan sipped his coffee and nodded as he swallowed. “It’s shallow. Just the basics. I can tell there is much more lurking under the surface.”

“I wish I could give you a key to unlock those doors.”

“I think there is one.”

“Really?”

“I get the impression that Tony is the key. I just have to figure out how to use him to get Tim and Gibbs to open up.”

“My friend, Cyril Taft, is a Navy surgeon who operated on Gibbs. He said Tony practically had to be dragged away. Their director called and ordered Tony back into the field.”

“May I ask what the surgery was?”

“Gibbs was shot overseas, in Iraq. They were working an NCIS case that took them abroad. He took two bullets; one near his heart, and the other in a knee. He was flown to the USS Danial Webster for medical attention. Dr. Taft saved his life.”

“Thank you for sharing that information. It helps.”

“Cyril is also one of my patients. I’ve never seen him so worried about one of his patients as he was with Gibbs. He asked me to poke around and see if I could help. Gibbs doesn’t like to talk about much of anything.”

“How did you break through to him?” asked Stan.

Grace smiled. “We bonded over a crossword puzzle. I asked for his help. Don’t let his lack of actual speech fool you. He’s a very bright man, well-read with a large vocabulary.”

“He is definitely in the tough case category.”

“One of the toughest,” she agreed. “So what makes you think Tony is the key?”

“Tim almost seems agitated around him, and yet Tony appears oblivious to it. Considering his skill set, I’m surprised he’s not picking up on it.”

“Don’t let that Tony DiNozzo fool you. Sometimes he knows a lot more than what he lets on.”

“Gibbs reacts to him, too. I’m not sure what is going on between those three, but there is something there.”

“And you’re just the man to figure it out.”

“I appreciate your confidence.”

On Sunday morning, Stan walked over to the stables and watched Gibbs work with Whisper. He took a place next to Tony, standing by the fence of the riding ring where Gibbs was working.

“He has a way with horses,” Stan said after a few minutes of observation.

“Yeah, horses and wood. He builds boats in his basement as a hobby.”

“Boats?”

“Yeah.”

“Model boats? Like toys?”

“No. The full-sized real deal. Unique hobby.” His eyes focused on Gibbs working across the pasture. “I knew he could ride, but didn’t realize he was so good with horses.”

They watched as Gibbs ran his hands down Whisper’s neck, back and legs. The gray horse looked nervous and fidgety, but seemed to appreciate the bites of carrots Gibbs offered him every few minutes.

“He has a gentle way with him,” said Stan. “He’s a focused man; patient.”

“He can be. He’s good with kids, too. He says they don’t have the guile to lie and get away with it. He can always tell. Animals are like that, too. They don’t hide their feelings. Adults can be much more difficult.”

“This horse must be one of the rescues.”

“Yeah,” Tony confirmed. “So is that bay at the end of the ring.”

“And Gibbs is working with them both?”

“I guess. He said the bay was a mustang adopted by a family who couldn’t deal with his energy. Gibbs rides him every day. His name is Tambour. They call the gray horse Whisper. Gibbs said he’d been beaten, so he’s shy around most people. For some reason, Tambour has become Whisper’s pal and protector out in the pasture.”

“So Tambour is here for moral support for Whisper?”

“Probably. Whisper gets antsy when we go riding. I recognize his whinny when he sees Tambour returning on the trail.”

“So you know when Gibbs is back from a trail ride?”

“Exactly. Whisper has a really high-pitched whinny. Tambour has a really low rumbling tone. They’re quite different. Actually, they remind me a bit of Gibbs and Tim.”

“Really? How so?”

“Tambour is handsome, smart, confident and loyal. He’s very protective about Whisper. I’m sure Gibbs was protective of Tim. Whisper is a bit more nervous. He’s not yet sure he can trust anyone. But he’s coming along.”

“And you think Tim has trust issues, too?” Stan asked.

Tony scratched his neck as he thought about it. “I suppose. I can tell they’re holding something back. At the NCIS debriefing, we could all _feel_ it. Vance pushed, but the harder he pushed, the more Gibbs just clammed up. Tim took the cue from Gibbs. They’re definitely keeping back some details. They haven’t opened up to you, have they?”

Stan shook his head. “No, not yet. But I have a feeling we’re getting closer.”

“I think if you could get Gibbs to talk, Tim would follow suit. Of course, the problem is getting Gibbs to talk.”

“He is one tough nut to crack.”

“And that’s putting it lightly.”

“Has he opened up to you?” Stan asked.

“No, neither of them. I didn’t want to push. I know you’re working with them and didn’t want to take a chance of making things more difficult for you.”

“I’m not asking you to push them, but it is okay for you to try to draw them out if you want to. It might help. How’s your relationship with them? How long have you known them?”

“Me? I worked with them both for years. I was with Gibbs for fifteen years before I put in to get my own team. I’d been offered it before, but turned it down.”

“Why?”

“Gibbs got caught up in an explosion a few years ago, then took the summer off. He had some sort of amnesia. I couldn’t leave until it felt right. I had to be certain he was okay.”

“And you left when he was better?”

Tony chuckled softly. “Not really. Things were good on the team for a long time. Gibbs’ team is the top team at NCIS, the varsity. Why quit a good thing? Then, I don’t know. It suddenly seemed like he was pushing me away. Maybe he just thought it was time I ran my own team. It got to where I wasn’t enjoying going to work and it was because Gibbs was just being an ass. So I left.”

“Did you discuss it with him?”

“I tried. He just said if I didn’t like how he ran the team, I should stop complaining and put in to run my own team. So I did. And he endorsed me.”

“And Tim?”

“He joined the team about three or four years after I did, and has always been like a little brother. He was so green when he started working with us. It’s been a pleasure to watch him grow and develop. He took my place as Gibbs’ senior field agent when I moved on.”

“Do you think he deserves it?”

“Of course.”

“Have you ever regretted taking on a team of your own?”

“No, not really. I do miss DC. But I think it was the right move. I miss working with Gibbs, Tim and Bishop, our other teammate. But it was time I moved on.”

“You said Tim is like a brother. Has there been any sort of sibling rivalry? I’m guessing if you two are like brothers, Gibbs would be the father figure.”

“I suppose. Tim and I got along just fine. Of course, we’re both competitive in wanting to be the one to crack a case. But it was friendly. We’re friendly,” said Tony.

“How has Tim been treating you on this trip?” 

“He seems stuck in his head. Like he’s mulling something over. He’s all bottled up and needs someone to help him pop the cork.”

“Interesting.”

“How so?”

Stan smiled. “You’ve been away from them for a couple years, and yet you’re not noticing that they’re acting differently around you.”

“Things change. People change. I know they’ve been through something terrible. Like I said, I don’t want to push too hard.”

“As their doctor, I’m telling you that it’s okay to push them a little. You’re not going to cause any permanent damage, I promise. Maybe a push from a friend is what they need to open up.”

“And you think if I can get them to open up to me, they will then open up to you?” asked Tony.

“I’m hoping. They both seem to want to get back out in the field. I don’t understand why they’re not cooperating.”

“Gibbs can be stubborn,” Tony divulged. “He’s like these horses. You can’t force him to do anything. Maybe he just needs a little gentle coaxing.”

“A few carrots?”

Tony chuckled. “Yeah. Maybe. Just saying, you can’t expect him to work on your schedule. He’ll come to you when he’s ready. I’m not sure why Tim is holding back. He keeps saying he just wants to get home to Delilah, so it’s strange that he’s not telling you everything just so he can go back home as soon as possible.”

“Something significant must have happened.”

“And it’s up to us to pull it out of them,” said Tony.

Stan offered his hand, and shook Tony’s. “We can do this. I want them to get back on track as much as you do.”

“So, if you don’t mind me asking, what are you doing out here? Dr. Grace said she enjoys this as a working vacation. But she said you’re out here long term.”

“Yes. I still keep a condo a couple hours away, mostly for when my kids visit and I want some time off. The ranch is such a beautiful place. I enjoy being here. It’s a nice, relaxing pace. I retired from my regular practice several years ago. After a few months, I realized I missed helping people. I missed having a purpose in my life. This is the best of both worlds. It’s got all the perks of a mountain getaway vacation, plus I get to help people.”

“Very nice. I’m not sure why I’m here. Director Vance could have sent anyone out here as their escort.”

“I trust he knows how close you are with Tim and Gibbs?” Stan asked.

“Of course.”

“I imagine he thought your presence would help them feel they could open up.”

“I wish it was working.”

“I think it is. Just like this horse Gibbs is working with, it’s only a matter of time.”

“And a little coaxing,” said Tony.

“If I really thought it would help, I would keep carrots in my pocket.”

After Gibbs wrapped up with Whisper, he released the gray horse out into the pasture, and walked over to Tambour, untying the horse and taking the lead line in his hand. Turning back to Tony and Stan, he yelled, “Hey! You guys want to go for a trail ride?”

“Sure,” Tony called back. Glancing over to Stan, he asked, “What about you?”

“I’d love to. Since it’s Sunday, I don’t have any appointments to hurry back for.”

“Great. Do you mind grabbing some water bottles while Gibbs and I saddle up the horses?”

“Fair enough.”

Tony walked with Gibbs as he led Tambour to a hitching post and tied him up. After grabbing a couple of halters, they headed back to the pasture to catch a couple horses. As usual, Salsa was easy to catch. Gibbs tended to catch whichever horse he could, as long as he felt the rider could handle the horse. The other one he was able to catch was a buckskin named Peso, who came cantering over when Gibbs whistled.

“He can be a handful. The youngest daughter used him in barrel racing and trick riding. He’s a smart horse that mostly just likes to run. Why don’t you take Peso, and let the good doctor ride Salsa?”

“Sure thing, Boss.”  
The pair grabbed a couple brushes and began grooming the horses.  
“Did you have an interesting chat with Dr. Kroger?” Gibbs asked.  
“Sure, I guess,” replied Tony. “We weren’t talking about you.” 

“Really?”

“A little, I guess. We were talking about how you were with Whisper. You have a way with horses. We were admiring how you handled him.”

“He’s going to be fine. He just needs a little kindness.”

“And a few carrots?” Tony asked as they began saddling the horses.

“They help.”

“It’s a shame you and Tim aren’t coming along as well.”

Gibbs just grunted and moved over to saddle Tambour.

“Just saying, if it would help, you can talk to me,” Tony offered.

“Nothing to talk about.” 

While they were waiting, Tony wiped his forehead, then watched as Peso managed to untie himself, walked over and stood in front of Tony nodding his head briskly.

“What’s up with that?” Tony asked.

Gibbs chuckled at the horse’s antics. “Apparently their daughter taught him more than barrel racing and trick riding.”

“Yeah, she taught him to be an escape artist, then to laugh in your face about it.”

“True. But he does always come when you whistle.”

When Dr. Kroger returned with a handful of water bottles, Gibbs stored them in his saddlebags, then they mounted up. Gibbs led the way down the trail, followed by Stan, with Tony bringing up the rear. They mostly rode in silence, just occasionally pausing to take in the scenic view. Tony snapped a couple pictures on his cell phone.

Tambour had a sturdy build with a broad chest. Ever alert, he often sniffed the air. His ears continually moved, taking in sounds from various directions. Salsa was a smaller horse, and content to just follow along after Tambour. Peso was more of a handful. He occasionally reared up, or pawed at the ground. Abundant energy kept him moving, but he didn’t focus like Tambour, who seemed to be ultra in tune to their surroundings. Peso really just wanted to stretch his legs and run, preferably without a human clinging to his back.

When they stopped for a water break, Tony ventured to ask, “Are you ever going to ride Whisper?”

Gibbs thought for a minute, then replied, “Yeah, I think so. He’s coming along.”

“I think he’d remain calm if you took him out with Tambour.”

“Tambour would definitely need to be there. If I ever take Whisper out, I’ll let you ride Tambour.”

“Really?”

“Sure. He’s easier to handle than Peso. We’ll let him canter when we get to another flat area.”

Gibbs pulled Tambour to a stop near a few trees. He motioned for the others to dismount, then handed them each a water bottle. Tony and Stan both took a seat on a fallen tree, while Gibbs stood and surveyed the view as he drank.

After a few minutes, Stan called to Gibbs. “Why don’t you come join us?”

Gibbs remained silent, but walked back to where the other two were sitting.

“I was thinking,” Stan began, “that maybe we could spend some of your therapy time riding.”

Gibbs quirked the corner of his mouth into a half-smile. “I’ll take you riding anytime you want, Doc. We don’t need to disguise it as a session.”

“I thought it might be easier for you to talk out here, on the trail. Different people respond to different things. Sooner or later, you’re going to need to talk about it. I can’t recommend you for field duty until you deal with what happened during your captivity.”

“We’ll see,” was Gibbs’ response.

Tony sighed.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

The next day, Dr. Kroger walked to the stables to find Gibbs. “How about another ride? I was able to clear out some time on my schedule.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“I didn’t really. A couple of my patients went home yesterday. I declined to fill the slots because I thought you and I might try therapy on the trail.”

Gibbs shrugged. He’d already led two group trail rides in the morning, so Tambour was still saddled. “I’ll go find a horse for you.”

“Salsa was fine.”

“Wayne has him out on a ride. I’ll let you take Sarge.”

“Okay.”

Sarge was one of the largest horses on the ranch. Tall and muscular, Buck said he had both thoroughbred and quarter horse blood in him. At eighteen, he was fairly easy for most people to handle, but responded best to men.

Gibbs tightened up the saddle’s cinch strap, then led the chestnut over to Stan, holding the horse while the doctor mounted. After swinging himself into Tambour’s saddle, he nudged the bay into a mild trot moving away from the barn.

Gibbs put Tambour through his paces, knowing Sarge would keep up. After thirty minutes, he stopped at the edge of a field and tied both of the horses up. Reaching into the saddlebags, he removed two bottles of water and handed one to Stan.

“Any success with Tim?” Gibbs asked.

“You do know I can’t discuss another patient, right?”

Gibbs sipped the water, then smiled as he screwed the cap back onto the bottle. “You can’t give me any specifics, but you could say whether or not you’re treating him, and you can tell me if you’re having successes. Or not.”

“Tim seems to be reserved; keeping his cards hidden. Director Vance stated that he felt that neither of you were completely open during your debriefing. I agree with that assessment. I think there is more that we need to discuss and work through.”

“What can I do to help Tim?”

“You could ask him to come clean with me; talk about whatever is bothering him. We all know he wants to go home to his wife. He has every incentive in the world to cooperate and get out of here, but he doesn’t. There has to be a reason. I’m betting it has to do with you, and Tony.”

“Tony? He left the team a couple years ago.”

“Do they stay in touch?”

“I think so. I don’t know how much. Tony was going to come back to DC for Tim and Delilah’s wedding, but it got moved up and he couldn’t get here in time,” Gibbs divulged.

“Do you think Tim was upset by that?”

“Upset? No. I think he was disappointed.”

“That’s understandable.”

“They’d just found out that Delilah was pregnant, and she had some medical issues. Planning a large wedding was stressing them both out. So they changed their plans. It wasn’t Tony’s fault.”

“What about you? Were you disappointed Tony couldn’t return?”

“I guess.”

“Tony told me you guys worked together for fifteen years. Don’t you miss having him around?”

“He’s here now.”

“Why do you think Tim seems unsettled around Tony?”

“Does he?” Gibbs asked.

“You’re an investigator, Gibbs. Can’t you see what is right in front of you? As closely as you’ve worked with Tim and Tony, I find it difficult to believe you don’t see it. I’d really like to know what you’re holding back and why. It’s the only way I can help you get back into fieldwork. You and Tim, both. We’re all working toward the same goal, but it’s the two of you who hold the keys.”

Gibbs sipped more water but said nothing. His eyes scanned the horizon.

“Tony made an interesting observation,” said Stan.

The comment captured Gibbs’ attention. “Yeah, what’s that?”

“We were watching you work with the horses and Tony mentioned that you’re a lot like Tambour, and Tim is like Whisper. You’re strong and confident and protective of Tim. I’m sure you did your best to protect him when you were being held captive.”

“I was held captive, too. There was only so much I could do.”

“I’m curious. You seem to be a harder case than Tim, yet you received the majority of the abuse and torture. Why didn’t they go for Tim?”

“You’d have to ask them, Doc. I don’t know. Maybe they thought I had a higher security clearance and more information.”

“They were after information?”

“That’s what the leader said. He wanted secrets to sell and said he’d let us go once he made enough money from any information I gave him.”

“And you refused to give him anything?”

“Of course,” said Gibbs. “I was never going to tell them anything useful.”

“Were you worried Tim might tell them something?” 

“Tim is a capable agent. And you’ve already asked me about this.”

“I’m still looking for answers. What did you guys do with all your time?”

“Thought of ways to escape.”

“Surely, you had conversations.”

“Some.”

“Did you ever talk about Tony?” Stan asked.

Gibbs watched the clouds roll overhead as he thought for a couple minutes. “Yeah, a little. I’d asked Tim why he jumped out of the helicopter. He said he thought Tony would have done the same.”

“Would Tony have jumped from the helicopter?”

“I’m sure he would have. I stayed behind to give them a chance to get away; to get to safety. Tony would have been at my side.” Pausing, Gibbs smiled. “Like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.”

“And instead Tim took that role.”

“Tim was there, Tony wasn’t,” Gibbs explained.

“How do you feel about that?”

“How should I feel? What happened, happened. We survived.”

“Together.”

“What?” asked Gibbs.

“You survived together. You and Tim.”

“Yeah.”

“The two of you were locked into a small room together for weeks, and given the bare minimum of food and water; just enough to survive.”

“True.”

“They tried to break you mentally and physically. Why keep the two of you together? Why not split you up?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it was the only room they had where they could shove a couple captives into.”

“Were you or Tim sexually abused in any way?”

“No. Just beaten, choked and half-starved.”

“Did anything sexual happen between you and Tim?”

Gibbs glared at Stan.

Dr. Kroger nodded and jotted a few notes down on the pad he had brought along. “Interesting.”

“I didn’t _say_ anything!” 

“Sometimes you don’t have to. As an interrogator, I’m sure you’ve learned to pick up on nonverbal cues. I’ve been studying you for a few weeks now. I’m picking up on your cues.”

“Congratulations.”

“And I will remind you, what is said between us is safe, confidential. I only have to vouch that you’re clear to return to field duty. I’m not going to report any details of our conversations. If something did happen between you and Tim, it’s understandable. You were held captive and abused for months. All you had was each other. So, tell me, what happened?”

Gibbs sighed, then said, “It started out that I would hold him when he was feeling scared or depressed. It was just an arm around his shoulder.”

“Go on.”

“After some time, we kissed a little. We touched each other. We were lonely and bored.”

“How about since you were rescued?” Stan asked.

“Of course not. It was just there in that little room.”

“Have you and Tim discussed it at all since you were rescued?”

“No.”

“I think it would help if you and Tim discussed this.”

“Why?” asked Gibbs.

“Closure. If you don’t discuss it, you don’t have an understanding of each other’s feelings.”

“Come on, Doc. Tim is married. He just wants to go home to his wife. I was…convenient; familiar.”

“Is that a problem for you? Are you currently in a relationship?”

“No and no.”

“Do you resent that Tim has someone and you do not?”

“No. I’m happy for them, Tim and Delilah. They’re great together. I do better flying solo.”

“Tim is your subordinate. Maybe this has made him uncomfortable.”

“Don’t know about that. It happened. Then we were rescued. I never thought much about it. It’s not going to happen again.” 

“Is this the first time you were with a man, sexually?”

“We didn’t have sex. We were just comforting each other. It was nothing. It meant nothing.”

“Maybe it meant something to Tim. Maybe he’s concerned what his wife may think if she found out.”

“I’m sure she’d understand.”

“Thank you for sharing that. I think we made a lot of progress today.”

“Does this mean we can go back home?” Gibbs asked.

“Not yet. We have more work to do first.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

After they returned to the ranch, Dr. Kroger sent for Tim and again met him in the lobby. “Thank you for coming.”

“We already had my session today,” Tim reminded him as he eyed the other patients in the lobby waiting for their own sessions.

“I know. But there was something else I wanted to discuss. Come on back to the office.”

As Tim walked to his usual chair, he was surprised to find Gibbs sitting on the couch. “Hi, Boss. I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t in my plans for the day either,” Gibbs replied.

Dr. Kroger took his chair and picked up his notepad. “Gibbs and I had a breakthrough of sorts today.”

“Okay,” said Tim. “Good.”

“I’m not here to judge you, just to help you. You can safely discuss anything here, with me.”

Tim’s eyes darted between Gibbs and Dr. Kroger. “I’m not sure I understand.”

“Gibbs revealed something new today, regarding what happened when you were held captive.”

“What?” Tim asked. “What happened?”

Gibbs cleared his throat and then spoke softly. “I told him that we comforted each other, physically.”

“That? That was nothing,” said Tim.

“You’re married,” Dr. Kroger began.

Tim cut him off quickly. “I _know_. To Delilah. Trust me, I’d really prefer to be home comforting my wife right now.”

“How do you feel about what transpired between you and Gibbs while in captivity?”

“It was nothing. Like he said, it was for comfort. We were held captive for a long time. There wasn’t much to do.”

“Why did you hold this back? Why haven’t you mentioned it before?” Stan asked.

“Because it didn’t seem important. It was barely anything. Just a little kissing and handholding.” 

“Did you tell your wife?”

“When?” Tim asked, clearly agitated.

“You were home with her for one night before you came here, correct?”

“Yeah. But we talked about me coming home, and she told me we were having twins. We discussed our children. I had an agent staying on my couch that night so he could escort me to the airport the next morning. It’s not like Delilah and I were really alone or had much time to discuss anything.”

“Do you plan to discuss it with your wife?”

“I don’t know. It’s just. It only happened because of the situation. If we weren’t held captive, it would never have happened.”

“Don’t you think it’s better to tell your wife about this now than take a chance of her finding out later?”

“Who would tell her? We haven’t mentioned it to anyone.”

Stan nodded as he made notes. “I think it’s important that you and Gibbs discuss it with each other. Intimacy is not something you can brush off. You don’t need to discuss it in front of me, but I’d like the two of you to express your feelings for each other.”

“I have feelings for my wife,” said Tim. “This was never supposed to happen.”

“Gibbs has been your boss for years. How many?”

“About fifteen now,” Tim replied.

“Surely, you do have some sort of feelings for him.”

“I guess. He’s like a second father to me. I care about you, Boss. You know that. But I love Delilah.”

“I know,” Gibbs said. “What happened only happened because of our circumstances. It has no bearing on our working relationship as far as I’m concerned. If you’re worried about it, don’t be.”

“I’m not. I wasn’t,” Tim stammered. “But thank you. I mean, if I was worried, I’m glad to hear you say that.”

Stan turned back to Gibbs. “Why don’t you return to your horses? I’d like to continue on with Tim alone for a bit.”

“Sure thing.” 

Tim watched as Gibbs left and pulled the door closed behind him.

Stan asked him pointedly. “You still seem to be hiding something. Gibbs told me about what happened, that it wasn’t actual sexual intercourse.”

“No, it wasn’t. Just holding, kissing, touching. Mild stuff. We got bored and just wanted some physical contact with someone. A connection. Something besides getting punched in the gut.”

“I completely understand. But you still seem agitated. There is something that is bothering you and you need to get it out in the open and deal with it.”

Tim sat silent for a couple minutes.

“Do you have actual feelings for Agent Gibbs? It’s okay if you do.”

“I love my wife,” insisted Tim.

“I understand. I get it. Can’t you love two people? How do you feel that the relationship that developed in captivity will not continue?”

“I’m fine. Really. I wouldn’t try even if it was a possibility. But it’s not even possible.”

“Why not?”

“He’s my boss, I’m faithful to my wife, and he’s in love with,” Tim paused for a moment, before divulging, “someone else.”

“Really? Gibbs said he was better when he’s not in a relationship.”

“Look. When we were together, helping each other, he said someone else’s name. It happened more than once.”

“And even with it just being what it was, just comforting each other due to the predicament you found yourself in, I’ll bet it still hurt to know he was thinking about someone else.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Another man?”

Tim didn’t answer, but looked at the door.

“Tony?”

“Yeah,” Tim said quietly. “He would have rather been there with Tony than me.”

“And how did that make you feel?”

“It stings, of course.”

“Do you resent Tony?”

“What? No, not really. I don’t think Tony even knows.”


	6. Back In The Saddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Tony learns a secret and makes a breakthrough with Whisper. Dr. Kroger makes a breakthrough with Tim._

The sun had set by the time Tim made it back to the cabin. He’d gone for a long walk and had missed his scheduled dinner period, but was allowed to eat later. Gibbs was sitting on the sofa reading a book.

“Hey, Boss,” Tim began.

Gibbs took off his reading glasses and rubbed his eyes. “You missed dinner.”

“Yeah, sorry. I went for a walk and lost track of time. I guess I wandered a little further than I thought.”

“Are you okay?” asked Gibbs.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Tim said as he pulled an iced tea from the mini-fridge. “You?”

“Good.”

“Dr. Kroger said we should discuss what happened and how we feel about it.”

Closing his book, Gibbs dropped it on the coffee table with an audible thud. “Jeez. He just can’t let anything go.”

“If we want to get cleared for field duty, we have to do like he says,” Tim said as he took a seat on the upholstered chair. “It’s the only way.”

“Fine. Talk.”

“Okay. I love my wife.”

“I know.”

“And I know who you love.”

Gibbs smiled and leaned toward Tim. “Yeah, who is that?”

“Tony.”

His smile faded as he leaned away and shook his head. “What? No.”

“When we were together, you said his name. Not just once. It was like every time you came.”

“You’re imagining things.”

“No, I’m not,” said Tim. “I heard you. I was there.”

“So was I.”

“And I was thinking back. You were an asshole toward Tony the last year or two he was on the team.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Everybody noticed. That’s why he left. You pushed him away. You used to depend on him so much and then you acted like you didn’t even want him around. He needs to be needed. You were acting like you didn’t need him anymore, so he left.”

“He left because it was time he ran his own team.”

“He left because you pushed him away. I think you pushed him away because you realized how much you cared about him.”

“I do care about him. He knows that.”

“I think you realized that you loved him; that you’re _in love_ with him. And you couldn’t stand working with him anymore and not being able to be with him. You couldn’t break your precious rule twelve.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Does Tony know?”

“That you’re nuts? Maybe.”

Emotions flooded Tim, and he did his best to hold back the tears. “You can deny it all you want. I’ve always known that you and Tony had a special bond. I knew you would never feel the same way about me. I know you will never care for me like you do for Tony.”

“I care for you. I depend on you. I wouldn’t have made you my senior field agent if I didn’t trust and respect you.”

“But it’s not the same. It will never be the same. Maybe you need to take a deep look at how you really feel about him. We all saw it. We all knew about it. With Tony’s cop sense, I wouldn’t be surprised if he knows, or at least suspects. And why did Vance pull him back from Rota to lead the rescue team?”

“Because nobody knows me like Tony.”

“Exactly.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m in love with him.”

“You can deny it all you want, but I know what I heard. The only time you smiled the whole time we were held captive was when I mentioned Tony.”

“There wasn’t much to smile about,” said Gibbs dryly.

Tony had returned from his security duty and heard voices drifting through the open window of the cabin. Instead of entering, he took a seat on the rustic front porch bench. His stomach dropped as he listened to Tim say that he knew Gibbs had pushed Tony away, and why. 

Tony had fallen into a depression when Gibbs started treating him differently. He thought he must have screwed something up, something big, but he could never figure it out. Could it be that Gibbs really pushed him away because of rule twelve? 

“Damn,” Tony muttered under his breath. After Tim and Gibbs finished their discussion, he remained on the porch for another hour, watching the moon and stars moving across the dark sky, their brilliance amplified by the absence of city lights.

After an hour, he quietly walked a few feet away, then purposely made a noisy return to the cabin, allowing his footfalls to sound heavily on the wooden porch. The door scraped slightly as he tugged it open, and pulled it closed after him.

“Hey, guys,” he said. “I don’t know about you, but I’m bushed. Gibbs, you’re going to have to get off my couch unless you’re planning on joining me tonight.” Tony waggled his eyebrows to emphasize his words.

Gibbs only rolled his eyes before returning to his book. “You can take the bed if you want. I’m not tired.”

“Thanks, but I’m fine on the couch.” Stretching his arms over his head, he yawned deeply, then said, “I’m just beat today. I need to get some sleep. I guess if you guys want to stay up late, I could take the bed for one night. Or we could share.”

“Share?” asked Gibbs.

Tony flashed a broad smile. “It’s big bed. I’ll bet it’s almost as big as the room you and Tim were locked in for all those months. Did they even give you a bed?”

“Nope. Hardwood floors,” Gibbs said sharply.

“How did you keep warm?”

“We were in Paraguay. It was hot and humid most of the time.”

“They gave us a couple thin blankets,” Tim added. “They were old, worn and full of holes. Better than nothing, I guess.”

“Well, good. I’m really glad we got you both back alive,” said Tony. “I mean that. I’m going to bed, but you guys can stay up as late as you want to.”

After taking care of his ablutions, Tony walked back through the cabin in his boxers. Gibbs was still reading on the couch and Tim was playing solitaire at the table. Neither appeared to pay any attention to him. Tony slipped into bed and quickly fell asleep.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

When Tony awoke the next morning, he saw that Tim was still sleeping. Gibbs was nowhere to be found. Once he was dressed, Tony headed to the pasture and saw Tambour and Whisper grazing near each other.

Slipping through the barbed wire, he slowly walked over to the pair. Tambour lifted his head and nickered. Tony approached cautiously and held his hand out. The bay horse nuzzled at his palm.

“Sorry, I didn’t bring any treats for you guys,” he said, as he stroked Tambour’s neck.

Returning to his grazing, Tambour snorted, shook his head and chewed his grass.

Tony stood there for several moments, admiring the beauty of the bay, and heard a soft crunch beside him. Peering out of the corner of his eye, he saw that Whisper was standing near him.

“Hey, Whisper, how are you doing today?” he asked softly. The gray horse took a step back, and Tony held his ground. “It’s okay. I won’t hurt you. I sure wish I’d brought you a treat.”

Tony searched through his pockets and found a granola bar in his jacket. Pulling it out, he read the label, and unwrapped the bar. “It’s honey and oats. Sounds pretty delish,” he said as he broke off one end of the bar and held it in his hand. Reaching out slowly, he offered the bit in his palm, his hand flattened.

Whisper sniffed at it suspiciously. Tony remained still. “You can have it if you want it.”

The gray horse made a couple moves toward him and a couple back. Eventually, he stretched his neck out and nipped the small piece from Tony’s palm.

“There you go,” Tony encouraged him. “How about a little more?”

Breaking off another small bite, Tony held it out in his palm again, patiently waiting for Whisper to step closer to him and nibble the treat from his palm. By the time the bar was gone, Whisper was standing beside Tony. Very slowly, Tony reached out to stroke Whisper’s neck, and allowed his hand to run down to the horse’s chest, then reached up to rub under Whisper’s chin.

“I knew you could do it. How about one day you and Gibbs, and Tambour and me, we can all go out for a ride together? We’d keep you guys safe, I promise. And you can keep us safe, too. That’s how things work between friends. And we’re friends now, right?”

Unbeknownst to Tony, Gibbs was watching him from just outside one of the barns.

Gibbs heard footsteps approaching, but kept his eyes on Tony and Whisper. “What do you want, Doc?” he asked.

Dr. Kroger smiled. “Ears like a hawk. Grace warned me.”

“Did she?”

“It’s a wonder, with your military background.”

Gibbs shifted slightly. “Nifty little things called earplugs. They save hearing.”

“I can imagine. I see Tony is making a friend.”

“Yeah, he’s a natural.”

“You admire him,” Stan said.

“It’s not time for our session, Doc.”

“I’m always here for you. I thought I’d made that clear. You’re working with those two horses. You like to observe them, figure them out. Same with me. Only I’m working with people.”

Gibbs smiled. “I guess you’re right.”

“I’m sure you’ve seen your share of death and destruction.”

“I’ve seen plenty. Caused some of it myself.”

“Any regrets?” asked Stan.

“I did what I had to do. I did my job.”

“Everyone thinks about their past. Things they could have done differently. Things they should have done or said before it’s too late.”

“What’s your point?”

“You care about Tony. You should tell him.”

Gibbs sucked in a deep breath and released it slowly. “He knows I care.”

“Does he? You’re not the easiest guy to read.”

“Tony knows me better than anyone else.”

“Some things need to be said.”

“Some things don’t,” countered Gibbs.

“He’s an admirable young man.”

“Yes, he is.”

They watched as Tony ran his hands across Whisper’s coat, the same way Gibbs did in their training sessions. But Tony didn’t have Whisper tied up. The gray horse stood and accepted the touches. Tambour walked over and nuzzled Whisper.

Tony finally noticed Gibbs and Dr. Kroger watching him, and walked over to talk to them. “Did you see that?” he said excitedly. “Whisper ate a granola bar from my hand, then let me pet him.”

“You did good, Skippy,” Gibbs said.

“Can I help you with him?” asked Tony. “I mean, when I’m not on security detail, of course.”

“Sure, if you want to.”

“I would.”

As the days passed, Tony and Gibbs spent a lot of time together working with Whisper, and going riding on the trails, usually taking Tambour and Peso as both horses loved to gallop across the open fields and had similar paces.

Tony had talked to Zach about his schedule, convincing him that it was in Gibbs’ best interest to have Tony spending time with him. That, and he also agreed to spend a couple hours each evening in the lobby of the boys’ dorm so the counselors could all go to dinner and work on their reports in peace, knowing the boys were monitored by a responsible adult. Tony also organized a weekly basketball game for the teens and volunteered to go on trail rides with them, as long as Gibbs was one of their guides.

The pair worked to gain Whisper’s trust and introduced him to grooming tools. First the brushes, then curry combs. Getting to his hooves took a bit of time, but with treats and long strokes of his legs, Whisper eventually learned to pick up his feet. With the help of both Gibbs and Tony to hold him in a small pen, Buck was finally able to properly trim Whisper’s hooves, and nail shoes onto them.

Whisper spent a few minutes lifting his legs higher than normal, clearly annoyed with the extra weight. Before long he’d forgotten all about the shoes, though, and trotted across the pasture to graze beside Tambour. 

After a couple of weeks, they introduced Whisper to the saddle and bridle. The horse was wary at first, but soon accepted being tacked up with little fuss.

“Who gets to break him?” Tony asked.

“He’s already broken,” replied Gibbs. “Supposedly.”

“What do you mean?”

“He was broken to ride, we’re told. But he was starved and beaten, to the point where he didn’t trust anyone. I had to reintroduce him to everything slowly, and give him treats so he accepted the touches and tack, and associated those things with the treats.”

“So, basically, this is the cult of trail riding, and you’re brainwashing him with the use of carrots?”

Gibbs laughed easily. “I’ve never heard it quite put that way.”

“When are you going to start riding him?”

Gibbs shrugged. “I thought maybe you could start. Today.”

“Really?”

“Sure. Go ahead, mount up,” said Gibbs, as he took hold of Whisper’s lead line. “Keep the reins loose at first. You sit quietly and I’ll lead him around so he gets used to your weight. When he relaxes, try a little neck reining.”

“Got it,” said Tony, as he put his foot into the stirrup and settled into the saddle.

Whisper tossed his head in the air and sniffed the wind.

“Easy,” said Gibbs. “Relax. Remain calm. Slow and easy.”

“Are you talking to me or him?” asked Tony.

“Both,” Gibbs said gently, one hand on the lead line, the other on Whisper’s neck. His voice was soft and steady, the words flowing easily like the water in the steam bubbling over the rocks. “We’re all going to take it easy. Just a little walk.”

Gibbs kept stroking Whisper’s neck until the horse took a deep breath and huffed it out, then lowered his head. Focusing on the gray horse’s ears, Gibbs watched him for signs of distress or discomfort. When he felt the horse relax, he turned and gave a gentle tug on the lead line. He’d led Whisper around the riding ring dozens of times before, and this wasn’t any different, except for Tony sitting in the saddle.

After fifteen minutes, Gibbs stopped Whisper and unclipped the lead line. “Take him for a spin. See how he goes for you.”

Tony nodded, and gave Whisper a slight squeeze of his calves, moving the horse forward at a walk.

“Rein him a bit.”

With a simple movement of his wrist, Tony let the left rein brush against Whisper’s neck. The gray horse moved slightly to the right. Tony continued reining him at a walk, back and forth across the ring, and added in a few circles and semi-circles.

Thirty minutes later, Gibbs waved him in. “That’s a good start for one day.”

Over the next few days, they took turns riding Whisper in the ring. Sometimes, Gibbs would saddle up Tambour and would ride alongside Tony and Whisper. Other days, Gibbs rode Whisper and let Tony ride Tambour beside them. One day, he nodded toward a trail. “Let’s see how he does.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

“You seem agitated,” Dr. Kroger said.

Instead of sitting, Tim was browsing over Stan’s bookcase. “No, I’m fine.”

“You said you talked to Gibbs.”

“I talk to Gibbs all the time. We work together. We’re sharing a cabin.”

“I meant about what happened when you were held captive.”

Finally, Tim returned his attention to Stan, and took a seat. He slouched casually and nibbled at his nails as Dr. Kroger scribbled notes onto his pad.

“We’re fine,” said Tim.

“I’m not convinced. We’ve been meeting for over a month, and there’s still something you’re not sharing with me. You and Gibbs can tell me you’re fine all you want, but actions speak louder than words.”

“Then you tell me,” Tim spat out a little more angrily than he intended. After releasing a sigh, he said, “I’m just frustrated about being here instead of home.”

“Go on.”

His voice edged into a whiny tone. “It feels like I’m still being held captive all over again.”

“I’m sure the food is better here.”

“Sure, it’s all better. At least there’s good food and a nice bed here, but I still can’t go home.”

“Let’s talk about Tony. Tell me about your relationship.”

Tim threw his hands in the air. “We don’t have a _relationship_.”

“You worked with the man for thirteen years.”

“Yeah, sure. We worked together, then he got his own team. We get along fine. We’re friends. We used to hang out together before he moved to Spain. He was going to be my best man, until we moved the wedding up and he couldn’t leave the case he was working on.”

“I see,” Stan said, jotting down more notes. “How do you feel about Tony and Gibbs spending so much time together?”

“I don’t care. They’re close. They’ve always been close.”

“Does that bother you?” Stan asked.

Tim’s face scrunched. “No, of course not. Why would it?”

“Has your relationship with Gibbs changed since Tony left the team?”

“Sure. I took Tony’s place as the senior field agent on Gibbs’ team. The senior field agent has to work closely with Gibbs. There is more paperwork, longer hours.”

“Are you worried Tony wants back on the team?” 

Tim shook his head. “He wouldn’t. It would be a step down. Besides,” Tim began before his voice faded.

“Besides what?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“Tim, we’ve gone over this dozens of times. You have to be open with me. I won’t judge you and everything you say in this office is confidential. Please continue. Besides, what?”

Tim remained quiet for a couple minutes. His eyes darted around the room, but failed to really focus on anything. Finally, he spoke. “Gibbs has these rules. Rule number twelve is never date a coworker.”

“Then what? Gibbs is dating Tony?”

“No, but I think he would if he could. I don’t care if he denies it. It’s obvious to me that he pushed Tony off the team because he couldn’t stand being so close to him and not being with him.”

“Gibbs is gay?”

“No, I don’t think so. It’s just Tony. They grew close over the years. Nobody understands Gibbs like Tony does. I know Tony is bi, even if he denies that. I’ve run into him out on dates before. With guys.”

“Does it bother you that he dates guys.”

“No. Although, he used to tell people I was gay. He said it cut down on the competition,” explained Tim.

“Or threw people off so they didn’t think he was gay or bi.”

“Maybe. At work, he did his best to portray himself as a player; out with a different woman each week.”

“Why do you think Gibbs would date Tony if he had a chance?”

Tim could feel the tears welling up. “Because he loves Tony. Gibbs has been married four times. Shannon, his first wife, was his true love. The others, he admits he was just trying to recapture what he and Shannon had before she was killed, but it never worked out. I think deep down inside, he finally realized that he really loves Tony. Deeply, like what he had with Shannon. Since he couldn’t be with Tony, Gibbs pushed him away.”

“Why does that upset you?”

Closing his eyes, Tim pinched the bridge of his nose. “It doesn’t.”

“You’re clearly upset. I read people for a living. Why does the relationship between Tony and Gibbs bother you so much?”

“They’re not _in_ a relationship,” shouted Tim.

“There is no reason to raise your voice,” Stan said in an even tone.

“Sorry,” he said a little louder than he intended. “I just. I don’t know.”

“We’re clearly close to something that is a sensitive subject for you. You need to think about why the thought of Tony and Gibbs being together bothers you so much.”

“It doesn’t,” Tim insisted.

“Are you jealous of Tony?”

The volume of Tim’s voice rose again. “What? No!” 

“Why are you so agitated when his name is brought up?”

“Because…” Tim began before letting his voice trail off again.

“Because of what? Why? How do you really feel about Tony? You had Gibbs all to yourself throughout your captivity. You two worked closely to put together an escape plan. Then Tony shows up. And things changed. Right?”

“I guess.”

“Because?”

“Everything comes so easily to Tony. It’s like he doesn’t even have to try. He’s good-looking, confident and charismatic. People just gravitate to him.”

“I think you’d be surprised if you had a heartfelt chat with him. I’m sure he’s worked very hard to get where he is; to be assigned his own team.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“He’s older than you, and has been with NCIS longer. It’s logical that he would get his own team before you. Provided that you want to lead your own team one day.” 

“I guess I do. One day. I still have a lot to learn from Gibbs. Although, I could lead a team in cybercrimes.”

“I’m sure you could.”

“I just enjoy the fieldwork.”

“So why does he bother you so much?”

“Tony? He doesn’t. I mean, we’ve played a couple pranks on each other. He’s a funny guy, when he’s not putting superglue on my mouse and keyboard.”

Stan flashed a small smile. “Did he really put superglue on your keyboard?”

“More than once. He’s like a big child sometimes.”

“And other times?”

“Some people called him Gibbs’ loyal St. Bernard.”

“Close your eyes,” said Stan. “Go back to when you were being held captive. It’s just you and Gibbs.”

Tim looked doubtful, but closed his eyes.

Stan continued, “Remember how you suffered together; how you depended on each other. Just you and Gibbs.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“He says Tony’s name. How does that make you feel?”

Tim sniffled. “It’s not fair.”

“What’s not fair?”

“Tony gets everything. He’s not even here and he’s all Gibbs can think about.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

Tim winced like he’d been punched in the stomach. “I hate that he’s so perfect, and always does the right thing.”

“When you were held in captivity, what brought Tony up?”

“I guess I did. Gibbs asked why I jumped out of the helicopter. It’s what Tony would have done. He said Tony would always have his six.”

“And why does that upset you?” Stan pushed.

“Because…”

“Because why?”

Tim was visibly shaking as the words poured out. “Because I want to be the one who always has Gibbs’ six. Tony left and no one can do the job like he did. There’s always a constant reminder that no one can live up to Tony’s accomplishments. I just want to be as good as he is.”

“I’m sure there is a great deal Tony can’t do, that you can.”

“Yeah, but it’s not the same. I want Gibbs to trust me like he trusts Tony. I want him to care for me like he cares for Tony. I want,” Tim paused and took a couple breaths. “I want…”

“Gibbs’ approval?”

Tim wiped a stray tear that rolled down his cheek. “I want to be his number one, but nobody can live up to his memories of Tony.”

“You don’t have to, Tim. You don’t need to. You’re not Tony.”

Blinking his eyes open, Tim said, “Thanks for that reminder.”

“And Tony isn’t you. Tim, you are Gibbs’ senior field agent. You are married to a wonderful woman. You are about to become a father. Let this go. Just let it go.”

“How?”

“Focus on your own accomplishments, not Tony’s. It isn’t a race. It is not a competition. Gibbs cares about you and trusts you. It will always be different than how he feels about Tony because that is the nature of relationships. Every relationship is different because every person is different. Embrace the differences and focus on your strengths.”

“I can’t help but think that Gibbs would have rather been held captive with Tony.”

“I doubt that’s true. I’m sure his preference would have been to not be held captive at all.”

“If Tony had been there, he would have somehow have saved the day. They probably wouldn’t have been captured at all.”

“Or they could have gone out like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” said Stan.

Tim looked up and thought about it for a minute.

“You told me that Tony’s not terribly computer literate, right?”

Nodding slowly, Tim confirmed, “That’s true, he’s not all that great with computers.”

“And your computer skills were instrumental in your escape plans. You got an email off to your office and you were able to set an alarm.”

“Yeah.”

“Are those things Tony could have done? Or Gibbs?”

Tim finally smiled. “Gibbs is less computer literate than Tony.”

“If Tony was there instead of you, they may still be held captive. They could be dead. You played an integral part in your escape. You and Gibbs are free because of your skills, not Tony’s.”

“But he was there, with the helicopter.”

“I’m sure Tony worked hard and they probably would have rescued you eventually, but what you did, what you set in motion, is why you were able to get free when you did. It’s all about teamwork. Don’t beat yourself up by comparing yourself to anyone else. Being Tim McGee is a great achievement in itself.”

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Dr. Kroger.”

“You’re welcome, Tim. I want you to focus things you do well. Let this competition with Tony go. He’s probably not even aware you’re doing it. Gibbs probably doesn’t realize it either. Remember you have Delilah and will soon have two babies at home. That is where you need to focus.”

“You’re right.”

“Remember, you are responsible for your own happiness. You can’t control other people. You do care for Gibbs, don’t you?”

“Of course.”

“If Tony makes him happy, then let him be happy. Okay?”

Tim felt the blush ebbing across his face. “Yeah,” he said softly. He deserves to be happy, too.”

“Good,” said Stan has he made a few more notes.


	7. Eye Of The Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Whisper goes missing during a storm when a tree falls and damages the pasture fence. Gibbs and Tony take to the trails to search for him._

Dark storm clouds rolled across the sky. It was already raining as Tim returned to the cabin. Although he really wanted to sit outside in the fresh air and write a long letter to Delilah, the weather was not cooperating with his plans. His hopes of having the cabin to himself were quickly dashed when he saw Gibbs on the sofa, quietly reading.

“Hi,” he said.

Removing his reading glasses, Gibbs looked up and returned the greeting with a nod. “How did it go today?”

“My session? Good, I guess. Dr. Kroger seems to think I’m almost ready. To go back.”

“That’s great.”

Tim was torn. He wanted to talk to someone, but Gibbs was never the chatty sort. “Where’s Tony?”

“Security detail.”

“Oh, okay. I’m going to go write a letter to Delilah.”

“Tell her I said hi.”

“Sure.”

Tim’s room had a small desk in it, just large enough to write letters. The drawer contained a stack of paper, and there was a cup with several pens. He chose a blue one with a medium tip and began writing. As his words relayed how much he missed his wife and wanted to go home, he heard a tapping noise on the roof and returned to the front of the cabin. 

“What’s that?” he asked.

Gibbs had turned on a lamp to brighten the room as the skies quickly darkened outside. He kept his eyes focused on his book. “Hail.”

Tim moved to the window and stared outside at the small white balls landing in the grass and dirt outside of the cabin. After a few minutes, the wind blew harder and the hail moved on. 

“Sounds eerie,” Tim said.

“You should move away from the window,” warned Gibbs.

“Okay.” Walking to the other side of the room, Tim grabbed a bottle of water. “Want something to drink, Boss?” he offered.

“I’m fine.”

As Gibbs continued to read, Tim sat in one of the chairs across the room from him. “I wonder what people did back in the day when there were storms and they couldn’t tend to their crops.”

“I imagine they read,” Gibbs said as he turned the page of his book. “The wives cooked, sewed and cared for the children.”

“Reading is good, I guess.” Browsing over the bookcase, Tim was surprised to find a mystery novel he hadn’t read before. “How late is Tony working?”

“I don’t know.”

“I just can’t imagine there’s much going on with this storm.”

“One thing about reading, Tim.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s best done quietly.”

“Sure. Sorry, Boss.”

The pair continued reading as the thunder rumbled in. Rain pounded against the windows as the wind continued to howl. The lights flickered a handful of times. Gibbs paused his reading long enough to find a couple flashlights and battery operated lantern.

The storm came through in waves, varying between heavier and lighter in strength. The winds blew hard for a while, and then settled for a time. Gibbs mostly ignored the storm, until he heard a loud crack followed by the sound of galloping horses. At that point, he dropped his book onto the table, grabbed a jacket and stepped out onto the porch, staring across the pasture.

Tim rushed to the door beside him. “Boss, it’s not safe to be outside in the storm.”

Gibbs didn’t respond. A fair distance away, near the stream that ran through the pasture, a large tree had fallen over, leaving its roots exposed.

“It took the fence out,” said Gibbs, as he began running toward the stables. 

Buck, Billy and some of the other wranglers were already saddling up some of the horses they were able to catch. They saw Gibbs running toward them.

“Fence went down in the geldings’ pasture. Grab one of the mares if you want to help us round them up. We’ll put them in the barn, the south paddock and riding ring, wherever we have room, until we can mend the fence.”

Gibbs nodded and grabbed a chestnut mare named Peanut. She was small but hardy and could be ridden all day. The storm didn’t seem to bother her much. As most of the horses were kept in the pasture, Gibbs imagined they didn’t mind getting wet. It was just another day to them.

Several of the wranglers wore rain slickers, but some didn’t. Rain drenched them all as they rode. They were used to wrangling cattle, so they were easily able to herd most of the horses back toward the barn and riding ring. 

It took nearly three hours to get the majority of the horses back to the stables. After they got the rounded up geldings sorted out and settled, a handful of the wranglers went to inspect the fence where the tree had fallen. They determined they would need to get the chainsaws out once the rain stopped. They’d have to get rid of the tree before they could mend the fence.

Gibbs kept looking over the horses. Some had been placed in a smaller paddock. A few were able to be put into empty stalls. A handful of the trail horses were in the riding ring, with a bale of hay tossed in for them to eat. 

Buck also found a few extra water buckets they tied to the fence to water the horses. “Gonna be too wet to ride in the ring for a couple of days,” he noted.

“I don’t see Whisper,” Gibbs mentioned.

“We counted the geldings. We’re short two of them,” said Buck. “Whisper must be one of them.”

Billy was just a couple feet away from his father. “Whisper and Rowdy are still missing. Wayne and Dave are out looking for them.”

“You can add my name to that list,” Gibbs said.

“Hey Boss,” Tony yelled as he ran across the barnyard. “I came to see if you guys needed a hand with anything.”

Without saying a word, Gibbs waved for Tony to follow him as he led the way back to the cabin.

Once they were inside, Tony grabbed a couple towels from the bathroom and tossed one to Gibbs. “That was crazy. We heard the hail and the wind, then that tree just went right over.”

“I’m going back out there. You’re welcome to ride along if you’d like,” said Gibbs. Briskly walking to the other room, he changed his clothes and grabbed some bottles of water and tea. “You coming?”

Tony’s eyes darted from the dry, comforting couch, to the storm outside. “I thought you guys got all the horses. What else is there?”

“Whisper is missing, along with another horse named Rowdy.”

“Oh, yeah, I’ll go with you. Absolutely.”

“Wear your jacket. We can borrow some raingear from the barn.”

Gibbs grabbed his empty go bag from the closet and shoved the drinks and a change of clothes into it. Tony packed his with towels and extra clothing as well. Before returning to the barn, Gibbs led the way to the cafeteria. As he scoured over the offerings, one of the workers asked if there was something he was looking for. When he told her what they were doing, she insisted on making them several sandwiches and packed them in a plastic bag with some trail mix, chips, and pudding cups.

Their next stop was the stables.

“Do you think you can keep Peso under control?” asked Gibbs.

“Sure, why not?”

“He may get spooked with the thunder and lightning, but he’s fast and has endurance.”

“He also goes well with Tambour,” Tony mentioned. He followed Gibbs into the barn and found Peso and Tambour were in stalls. “I guess they have to give up those nice, warm, and dry stalls.”

“I wanted them dry when we saddled them. They’ll be soaked soon enough.”

After saddling the two horses, Gibbs saw Billy walking toward him. “I’ve got to find him,” Gibbs said.

“I know. Brent and I are going out, too. I brought you some wet weather riding gear, they’re long slickers made for riding; they’re designed to cover your saddlebags and the horse’s rear while you’re riding. We have covers for the saddles, waterproof saddlebags and bedrolls, a trail kit with a first aid kit and flashlights. And you should take rifles with you. In case you come across a bear or a bobcat.”

“Great,” said Tony.

“The horses will know if a predator is nearby long before you will. If they start getting skittish, look around for danger,” Billy offered. He had special lights that clipped onto the saddles and showed Tony and Gibbs how to switch the lights on and off. 

Tony was happy to see the waterproof goodies included neon orange rain hats that had large brims, reflective strips, and adjustable chin straps that would hold them on tightly. 

The four headed out together, but split up when they came to the fork in the trail. 

Billy nodded to the rifle and said, “If you catch them and have a good hold on them, fire the rifle once, then wait ten seconds and fire a second shot. Then we’ll know to come back.”

“Why wait ten seconds?”

“Trust me, if you come up against a bear, you’re going to be firing at least a couple shots rapid fire. If they’re spaced out we’ll know they’re deliberate.”

“What if the horses aren’t together? What if we only find one?” asked Tony as he tightened his grasp on Peso’s reins, holding the fidgety horse in place.

“Hadn’t thought of that. Okay, two shots ten seconds apart to get our attention, then wait another ten seconds and fire once if you found one horse, two times if you find them both.”

“Good signal,” said Gibbs, as he nudged Tambour forward, taking the right fork. 

Tony glanced back and waved as he watched Brent and Billy take the left fork. Loosening his reins, he let Peso trot until they caught up with Gibbs and Tambour. 

“Why didn’t we just bring radios?” Tony asked.

“They have limited range in the mountains. While they work okay at the ranch, they’re pretty spotty on the trail. Cell phones, too. They have flare guns, but we only use those in an emergency.”

“What makes you think Whisper came this way?”

“Horses are creatures of habit. Whisper hasn’t spent much time on these trails, but he’d most likely go the same way we took him. Horses tend to go with what they know, and what’s comfortable.”

“So, that’s the plan?”

“Yep. We’re going to take our normal trails. See what we can find.”

“I don’t know how we’re going to find anything, as dark as it’s getting already and all this rain.”

“If we get anywhere near him, Whisper and Tambour will whinny to each other. We’ll hear them.”

Gibbs finally had to concede that it was too dark and treacherous to continue searching and riding around on rain-slick trails. Dismounting carefully, he led the way off the trail, deep into the brush where the tree canopy protected them somewhat from the rain. They found a small clearing, large enough for a small fire and two sleeping bags. Gibbs tied the horses securely and unsaddled them while Tony collected firewood, digging past the top damp layer of leaves and debris to find the drier branches underneath.

“It’s nice they sent along an axe,” Tony said. “I never would have thought of it.”

“Standard for the wranglers to have on the trails,” Gibbs said bluntly as he nodded to a spot for Tony to dump the branches he had gathered. 

“I haven’t had so much wood for a guy in a long time,” teased Tony.

Gibbs glared at him for several seconds before setting about building the fire.

“So, why would you need an axe on the trail?” Tony asked as Gibbs lit the kindling.

“For one thing, you could get stuck on the trail and need to cut firewood. It’s not too unusual for a tree to fall across a trail. With an axe, the guides can cut the small ones down and clear the trail for the riders. And you never know. If someone breaks an arm or a leg, it could be handy in putting together a splint.”

“I was hoping you were going to tell me there were wild chickens out here that you could behead for dinner.”

Gibbs dug into the pack. “No need, we already have food,” he said as he tossed a sandwich to Tony.

“Oh yeah, I’d forgotten. She sent along some pudding, too, right?”

Gibbs smiled as he dug further into the pack and handed Tony a pudding cup and a spoon, along with a bag of chips.

Tony ate the sandwich first. It was ham and Swiss cheese with lettuce, tomato and mustard. “Mayo would have been nice.”

“Maybe. But it doesn’t hold up well on the trail. She sent some ham, turkey and roast beef sandwiches, and some peanut butter and jelly. Since PB and Js keep longer, we’ll eat the meat first.”

“Just how long are we going to be out here?”

“Until we find him,” Gibbs said between bites. After a pause, he added, “We can go back for more supplies if we need to.”

“We do have that luxury.”

“Why do you say that?”

Tony shrugged. “Because. When you and Tim were held captive, you couldn’t just go back if you wanted more. You only got what they gave you.”

“That is very true,” Gibbs agreed. Reaching into the bag again, he pulled out two bottles of water and tossed one to Tony.

“I was there at your debriefing. And I’ve sat in on a couple of Tim’s sessions. I can’t imagine how horrible it was for the two of you.”

After taking a long drink, Gibbs screwed the plastic cap back onto the bottle. “We survived.”

“I think you should talk about it. Here. Now. With me.”

“Talk about what?”

“Come on, Gibbs. We all know you guys didn’t tell us the whole story. Something weird went down. I can feel it.”

“It’s not pertinent.”

“To what?” Tony asked.

“Anything.”

“Your path back to field work with NCIS is blocked by a giant boulder called the truth of what happened when you were held captive.”

Gibbs quirked a small smile. “Get that out of a fortune cookie?”

“Not exactly. Come on, Gibbs. Jethro. It’s just you and me here. We’ve had our ups and downs, but I hope you think of me as a friend; as a close friend. You have to talk to someone. You don’t have to sugarcoat it for me. I just want to understand what happened and why you guys are holding back. I only want to help.”

Gibbs thought over Tony’s proposal, and rubbed a hand across his chin, feeling his whiskers that had grown through the day. It took him back to being in captivity, when he wasn’t allowed to shave. He remembered his hair grew long, and his beard and mustache filled in. 

“I only want to help,” Tony reiterated. “What really happened? Why were you so far from the helicopter? Why didn’t you get out of there when you had the chance?”

Gibbs took a deep breath and settled into his sleeping bag. The rain had stopped for the night, for which he was grateful. Using the saddle to lean against, he stared up through the tree canopy, only catching a brief glimpse of a couple stars when the wind shifted the tree leaves. “The op went bad, and went bad fast,” he began.

“What happened? I really want to know the whole truth.”

“McGee and I had set the explosives. The plan was to blow a couple of their trucks as a distraction, with the added benefit of taking out the vehicles.”

“But the rebels came back early,” Tony prodded.

“Not only early, but en masse. We could hear the trucks rolling in. I saw the look on Dean’s face. I knew it was bad. I chose to blow the trucks.”

“Why?”

“We couldn’t retrieve the charges without being seen. If we left them behind, they would have been found. Then the rebels would know someone was there, plus they’d have the explosives.”

“So the trucks blew.”

Gibbs nodded. “They blew. I knew we only had a couple minutes to execute the exfil, or we’d all be caught, and likely killed.”

“You had Torres take the kids.”

“That was the mission, to save the kids. Dean had point, Torres was behind the kids, then McGee. I brought up the rear. I wanted to make sure they were all safe.”

“But you stopped. I read Torres’ report. You stopped at the edge of the field, and held the rebels back. You never tried to make it to the helicopter. Why?”

“I thought I could hold the rebels off at the trailhead. The foliage was so thick that they had to be in single file. If they got into the field, they could spread out and do more damage. Maybe bring down our bird.”

“But you could have been killed. I don’t understand why you never even made a run toward the helicopter.”

“The boys were all children with their whole lives ahead of them. The pilot had two small kids at home. Tim is about to become a father. Ricardo, Enrique’s father, had just gotten his son back. Torres still has a lot of life ahead of him. I wanted to give them all a chance to survive.”

“Even if you didn’t?” asked Tony.

“Yeah. Who do I have to go home to? A bottle of bourbon and whatever project I have going on in the basement.”

“It doesn’t make them more important than you.”

“It was my choice,” Gibbs snapped. “If I had to do it all over again, I would do the same thing.”

“You stayed because you thought it was the only chance for them to get away?”

Gibbs nodded. “Yes. If the rebels hit the field with their gun power, we’d all be dead or captured. ‘ _The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few_ ’.”

“‘ _Or the one_ ’. I thought you fell asleep during _The Wrath of Kahn_.” 

“It wasn’t bad, DiNozzo.”

“Sometimes Captain Kirk reminds me a bit of you.”

“How’s that?” Gibbs asked.

“He doesn’t always play by the rules, and would sacrifice himself for others.”

“That’s my job as team leader. I was responsible to make sure they all reached the safety of the helicopter,” said Gibbs. “I couldn’t go home and face Delilah if Tim was killed and I survived.”

“And then Tim mucked up your plans by jumping out of the chopper.”

Gibbs smiled again. “Yes, he did.”

“I don’t know how either of you survived the firefight.” 

“They wanted us alive. I don’t know why. That’s the only way we could have lived through that. We were heavily outgunned and outnumbered. There was no way all those guys were that bad of shots.”

“The report said you were grazed.”

“A couple times. Nothing too serious. They may have been aiming for an arm or a leg to slow me down without killing me.”

“It’s a miracle Tim wasn’t hit,” said Tony as he snuggled deeper into his own sleeping bag.

“I was at the trailhead. He came up behind me.”

“So you were between Tim and the rebels?”

“Yeah. I was out of ammo for the rifle before he was there. I tossed it aside and grabbed my sidearm. Tim was a couple feet behind me, firing his own weapon. The ammo was gone in a few seconds.”

“According to the report, you fought, but Tim gave up. Did that bother you?”

“What are you? My shrink?”

“Hey, we have all night. I think talking about it will only help.”

“I guess on some level it bothered me, but I understood.”

“Because he wanted to get home to see Delilah and his kids?”

“Yeah. He wanted to get home alive. I heard him begging them not to hurt me.”

“But they did anyway.”

“A bit,” Gibbs confirmed. “I could understand most of what they were saying. They were ordered to keep us alive.”

“I wonder why? It seems like a lot less trouble to just fire a couple shots and leave your bodies behind.”

“I don’t know. I really don’t know. Once the ammo was gone, it was only a matter of time.”

“Then why fight? Why not give up like Tim?”

“Because!” Gibbs spat out. “I’m trained to fight. Marines don’t give up. I had to take a chance. Dean was caught in hand-to-hand combat with the same group before and he got away.”

“Everything but his hand.”

“That’s true.”

“How did he get away, wounded?”

“It was dark out when he and his partner, Hudson, went in. They used the cover of night.”

“Why didn’t you guys run the op at night?”

“Too risky for the helicopter. Dean and Hudson were on foot. Their plan was to grab the boys and run into the darkness. They only needed to get far enough away that they could hide until daybreak. That’s why we used the explosives as a distraction. We only had to run to a helicopter. Once the bird took off, our chances were good.”

“But it didn’t work out that way.”

Gibbs shifted uncomfortably. “No, it did not. They tied us up and shoved us into the back of a truck. Hours later, they forced us aboard a ship. All that time we had burlap bags on our heads.”

“And they beat you?”

“Some.”

“And you were bleeding? You said you were grazed. Did they treat your wounds?”

“No. Tim offered to ask for first aid supplies. I told him not to bother.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t think they’d give us anything. They didn’t care. I applied direct pressure until they stopped bleeding.”

“How? Your hands were tied.”

“I pressed my shoulder against the bottom of the truck, and my foot against the leg wound. It did the job.”

“Tim said you were shoved into a small room. What was that like?”

“Tiny. Cramped. I think it was some sort of storage area or something.”

“But there was nothing in it?”

“Just us,” Gibbs disclosed. “No windows. One dim light. They kept us tied up for a while, and fed us table scraps a couple times a day.”

“I can’t imagine.”

Gibbs’ voice cracked slightly. “I offered to let Tim have all the food.”

“Why?”

“I wanted him to survive. I wanted him to get home to Delilah. I wanted him to see his children.” Gibbs sniffled and wiped his eyes.

Tony studied him by firelight. “What about you, Boss?”

“I didn’t have anyone waiting for me. I had my wife and child. They’re gone. It didn’t matter if I got home.” 

Tony wriggled his sleeping bag closer to Gibbs, and placed a hand on Gibbs’ arm. “It matters to me.” 

“You weren’t there. You weren’t waiting.”

Tony shook his head and stared into the flames, watching them dance against the darkness of night. “Vance didn’t even tell me,” he said. “There was no information. Nothing went out to the field. I didn’t know what happened until he called me back to DC and took me into his office for a private meeting.”

“I’m still surprised he brought you back for that.”

“Why? Who knows you better than me?”

Gibbs shook his head. “They’re getting few and far between; the people who know me well.”

“There are still a couple: Ducky, Fornell, Abby. For that matter, Vance. He recalled me and didn’t tell me why. He just said to catch the next flight to DC.”

“You didn’t even know we were missing?”

“No. I’d tried Tim’s cell a couple times and thought it was odd I always got voicemail. I just thought you guys were busy working a tough case.”

“I’m surprised Abby didn’t mention it.”

“They didn’t tell her. They said you were still on an op in Mexico.”

“Wow. Vance sure wanted to bury this.”

“Can you blame him?” asked Tony. “It wasn’t sanctioned. Right or wrong, it led to a congressional hearing. I’m sure he was doing his best to keep it quiet.”

“I guess it would have been easy to sweep us under the carpet if we had been killed.”

Rolling onto his side, Tony faced Gibbs. “I would have come looking for you eventually. I wouldn’t have stopped until I found out what happened.”

“I’m surprised they kept looking for so long.”

“Torres made a good point to keep searching.”

“What was that?” Gibbs asked.

“They wouldn’t have taken your bodies if they killed you. After he walked that field and saw there was no sign of you guys, he was certain you were taken captive. He’s a good man. I was happy to be partnered with him for the search. He wasn’t going to give up on you, and neither was I.”

“I can’t remember the last time I was so happy to see anyone as when I saw you in the rescue chopper.”

“I’ve never been so happy to rescue someone.”

“Why?”

“How can you ask? I worked with you for fifteen years. You’ll always be _Boss_ to me. And Tim is like a brother to me. Remember the first case we worked with him? He was so green and looked like he was going to puke? He was such a kid.”

“And now that kid is about to have a couple babies of his own.”

“A lot has happened over the years.”

“Lots of memories,” Gibbs agreed.

The pair fell silent for a few minutes, then Tony said, “The only thing I can think of that you guys could be too embarrassed to share, is that you slept together.”

“What? You’re crazy.”

“Am I? Tell me I’m wrong. Nobody knows you as well as I do. Ducky and Fornell may have known you longer, but I’ve done more stakeouts with you. I’ve spent more time with you. I _know_ you. Probably better than most of your ex-wives.”

Gibbs chuckled uncomfortably in the darkness that surrounded them. A branch broke in the fire, sending a spray of sparks into the air. An owl hooted nearby.

Tony physically reached out and rested his hand on Gibbs’ arm again. He spoke softly. “I’m here for you. It’s okay. I date guys, remember? I’m not going to judge.” When Gibbs only stared up and remained silent, Tony continued, “Human contact is a physical need. If something happened, I totally understand. But you guys have to get it out. You can’t carry it around forever. It will sink you.”

Gibbs sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It was nothing. McGee was taking captivity hard. It was rough on him. It broke him a little bit each time they beat me. So I would put my arm around his shoulder, hold him, comfort him and tell him everything was going to be okay. I kept reassuring him I was fine, despite the cuts and bruises.”

“And one thing led to another?” Tony prodded.

“We started sleeping closer together. Tim seemed comforted by touch.”

“Who was on top?”

Gibbs rolled his eyes and smacked Tony on the back of his head. “It wasn’t like that.”

“Surely, that’s not all. There has to be something that has you both acting so secretive. Deep tongue kissing?”

“It was nothing,” Gibbs insisted. “Like you said, just a physical need.”

“No actual penetration?”

“No!”

“Huh. Interesting. Still, one wonders what is going through Probie’s mind. It makes sense now. He doesn’t want Delilah to know.”

“Jeez, DiNozzo. Would you?”

“Yeah, I think I would want to know.”

“I don’t want this to affect their marriage.”

Tony thought for a minute before responding. “I’d like to think their marriage could withstand this. You said there was no penetration, so it was what? Just kissing and cuddling?”

“Pretty much.”

“Pretty much means there was more. Did Probie give you a blowjob?” Tony asked, focused on Gibbs’ eyes. When Gibbs quickly turned away, Tony continued, “It’s not a big deal. Try going to an all-boys boarding school. There were blowjobs and handjobs everywhere.”

“Really? You were with other boys at prep school?”

“Yeah, a bit. Not much else to do when you’re away from home with raging hormones. I find it difficult to believe nothing like that went on in the Marines.”

“There could have been some. Not me. I was happily married. I kept my thoughts on Shannon and Kelly the whole time.”

“Just saying though, it’s understandable. It’s okay. I wouldn’t go blabbing it to Vance, but you should talk to Dr. Kroger about it. Get it off your chest.”

“I’m fine with it. Really. We survived. We came home.” Rolling over, Gibbs pulled the sleeping bag tightly around his shoulders and faced away from Tony. “I’m ready to get back to work.”

“Good night, Boss. And if you get cold or anything, I’m here for you.”

“Go to sleep, DiNozzo.”

“On it, Boss.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

When the misty gray light of dawn seeped through the canopy, Tony blinked his eyes open. Gibbs’ sleeping bag was already neatly rolled and stored in its waterproof bag. The fire had died out during the night and Gibbs hadn’t added anything to it.

“Boss?” Tony called.

A moment later, Gibbs walked back from where he’d been brushing Tambour. “What?”

“Now that it’s light again, are we going back to the ranch for breakfast?”

Instead of replying, Gibbs tossed a ham and cheese sandwich at him. Tony sat up and frowned, then unwrapped the sandwich and ate it slowly, along with a bag of Cheetos.

By the time he was finished, Gibbs had both of the horses saddled. “Get your sleeping bag rolled up and we’ll get out of here.”

Tony nodded and licked the crumbs from his fingertips. He wondered how many sandwiches were left. It probably wouldn’t have taken them more than an hour to return to the ranch for a decent breakfast, plus they could have had a hot shower and a shave. “Shouldn’t we check in with someone? I didn’t tell Zach I was going with you.”

“They know we’re out here,” Gibbs replied stiffly. “I’m sure Billy or Buck mentioned it to Zach that you’re out here with me. But if you rather go back to the ranch, go on. I don’t need you.”

“No. I’m here for you,” he said as he pulled his jeans on and stowed the sleeping bag.

Gibbs led Tambour back through the trees to the actual trail. Tony led Peso. Once they were on the trail, they mounted up. Gibbs looked unusually surly.

“They have coffee at the ranch,” Tony reminded him.

“Shut up.”

Little was said the first half of the day as they rode the trails and searched. Occasionally, Gibbs would stop Tambour and they would just listen. It was a cool day, with a wind gusting strong enough at times to rattle the trees. 

“It’s quieter during the day without the owls,” Tony ventured.

“They hunt at night.”

It was just after noon that they heard the shots fired. Both of them reined their horses to a stop and listened.

“They found one,” said Tony. “Should we go back and see which one?”

Gibbs shrugged and changed his route. He took a trail that cut across a ridge that gave them a good view of the ranch and a couple of other trails. They stopped at what was commonly referred to as the lookout point, because it gave the best vantage point to look down over the ranch. Still sitting atop Tambour, Gibbs surveyed the trails, and finally spotted two riders leading a smaller, dark horse.

“That’s Rowdy,” he said. “Whisper is still out there.”

Tony’s hopes of stopping at the ranch for more supplies were quickly dashed. 

Gibbs turned Tambour, and gazed out over the terrain as far as he could. There was no sign of Whisper. He dropped the reins and gave Tambour a nudge. “Go on,” he urged the bay horse. “You think like him. Where would he go?”

Tambour snorted and shook his head hard enough that the bridle hardware jingled. The bay looked around, then started down the trail. Tony and Peso followed behind.


	8. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Tony and Gibbs spend another night together out on the trail._

The pair pushed on, into the afternoon. Tony was certain they were crisscrossing their own path and riding the same trails they had taken earlier. However, he decided the best policy was to let Gibbs do his thing and play the faithful sidekick.

The sound of the saddles squeaking, bits jingling, and horses snorting became familiar, even comforting. Tony could close his eyes, and relax as Peso plodded down the trails behind Tambour. If Peso stopped, Tony would open his eyes and glance around.

“Getting sleepy?” Gibbs asked during one break, as he twisted the cap off a bottle of water.

“I’m fine. Just resting my eyes.”

Gibbs glared at him. “We are out here trying to find Whisper. Having your eyes open will greatly increase our chances.”

“You said if we get anywhere near him, he and Tambour will whinny to each other.”

“True. But I’ve been taking the ridge trails to see if we could spot him at a distance.”

“Oh, okay. They were only closed for a minute. I’ve been watching. Like those birds soaring overhead. Those aren’t vultures are they?”

“They’re eagles out hunting for food.”

“They don’t eat horses, do they? Or people?”

“Not likely. Just pay attention.”

“On it. I will. I promise.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Tim stood by the window of Dr. Kroger’s office, staring into the overcast day.

“The answers aren’t out there,” Stan said gently. “Why don’t you take a seat?”

Backing away from the window with a sigh, Tim sat in his usual chair.

“Did you have a chat with Tony?”

“No, there wasn’t time.”

“Really? You share a cabin.”

“When the storm came through last night, it uprooted a tree in the pasture. Tony and Gibbs are out tracking down a couple horses that ran off.”

“Since yesterday?”

“Yeah. I saw a couple of the wranglers brought one horse back earlier, but Gibbs and Tony weren’t with them. I went to the barn and asked, and the guys said they saw Gibbs and Tony up on a ridge, still looking for the other horse, and said they took a lot of supplies. No one knew how long they’ll stay out searching.”

“Does it bother you that they camped out together and didn’t take you?”

“No. I don’t ride that much. I’m sure I’d be sore and wanting to come back to the ranch. I only would have slowed them down. To be completely honest, I prefer a warm bed to a sleeping bag outside in the rain.” 

“I can certainly understand that. Yesterday you seemed a little resentful of how close Gibbs and Tony are. But today it doesn’t bother you they’re out on the trail without you?”

“Not as much. Our talk helped. Even if something did happen between Gibbs and Tony, you’re right that I have Delilah, and that’s where my focus should be. I think maybe Gibbs and Tony would be a good couple. I’d be okay with it, if they decided to be together.” 

“I’m glad to hear you say that. It shows real progress.”

“I just had to get it out. I realize that I was jealous of Tony. I never really thought about it before, but after we talked yesterday, I went over it in my head. When I first met them, I was terrified of Gibbs. He had a reputation throughout NCIS. I’d been to headquarters and had seen them.”

“So you knew who they were before you worked with them?”

“Just Gibbs, really. I’d seen Tony. I knew he was Gibbs’ partner, but I didn’t know his name or anything. I was so nervous when I had a case I needed help with, and Gibbs and his team showed up.”

“You said you were terrified of Gibbs. Did that change as you worked with him?”

“Not at first. I was always nervous around him when I first joined the team. But Abby helped.”

“She’s your forensic scientist, right?”

“Yeah.” Tim smiled at his memories. “When I met her, we had a lot in common. She’s brilliant. I learned a lot from her, and taught her a bit about computers. Not much. She already knew a lot. Then we dated a little bit. I think.”

“You think?”

Tim sighed deeply. “When I was temporarily assigned to Gibbs’ team, Abby invited me to stay at her place. One thing led to another. We started going out, but when I wanted things to get more serious, she backed off fast. About that time, Gibbs pulled some strings to get me on his team permanently and he has that rule against co-workers dating, so Abby said we had to cool it. It almost felt like it was just friends with benefits for her, while I was falling in love with her. I thought we were really a couple. She seems attracted to me and fond of me, so I never understood why she was so hesitant.”

“Is it strange for you to work with her?”

“It was at first. I think we were both jealous when the other was dating. We were so right for each other, I couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to be with me.”

“Were you angry with her?”

“No. It’s really hard to be mad at Abby. She’s the most forgiving person I know. She can yell at you, then give you a big hug and say it’s all forgiven, all in one breath. The longer we worked together, the more I accepted that we would never be anything other than friends. And I wanted more. I always wanted to find someone special and get married. I wanted a happily ever after in my life.”

“Does your wife know about your feelings for Abby?” Dr. Kroger asked as he scribbled a few notes.

“Yeah. She and Abby became pretty good friends and I think Abby let it slip that we’d been together. But Delilah is fine with that. She knows it was over ten years ago and we’ve both moved on. She knows I’d never…” Tim’s voice faded as his eyes wandered back to the window.

“You’d never…cheat on her?”

Tim’s eyes dropped to the floor. “No, not really.” He frowned as his face reddened.

“Do you consider what happened between you and Gibbs to be cheating on your wife?”

“Not really. No. I don’t know.”

“Did something more happen when you were held captive? If you were sexually assaulted, it wasn’t your fault. I think she’d understand,” Stan said gently.

“It wasn’t like that,” Tim said softly. “I missed Delilah so much.”

“Go on.”

“It wasn’t even sex, really.”

“Tell me about that, your time in captivity.”

“I couldn’t stand watching them beat Gibbs. He got it so much worse than me. I don’t know why. They would tie me up and make me watch them torture him and he just took it. I was so afraid they’d kill him and I’d be left alone. I was frightened at the aspect of being held captive alone. I needed him.”

“Tell me about what happened. How were you feeling at the time?”

“I had a panic attack. I was having trouble breathing and couldn’t stop crying. It was after a particularly brutal beating. They beat him, and I was the one who needed consoling. When they took us back to our holding cell, he waved me over to sit beside him, and he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He held me for hours and told me he was okay; that we were okay.”

“I’m glad he was there to comfort you.”

“I couldn’t have coped without him.”

Stan jotted down a few more notes. “I see. You were grateful?”

“Sure.”

“He helped you and you wanted to do something to reciprocate?”

“Maybe. I guess. It didn’t seem like anything. I just felt. I don’t know.”

“Safe?”

“Yeah. I felt safe in his arms.”

“Go on,” urged Stan. 

“It started with him just holding me. We’d sit together for hours, him holding me. Then when we slept, his arm would be around me, like he was protecting me. And at some point, we kissed. It didn’t seem like much of anything. I didn’t even think about it at first.”

“Suddenly, he was your whole world. It’s understandable, Tim. There’s no need to beat yourself up over it.”

“We didn’t have sex, actually, but we did some things. Touching. I was so down at the time, so depressed and despondent. It was the only way to feel that I could go on. I needed the contact. I needed him.” Tim’s lip quivered as the words spilled out. “I didn’t think we’d survive. I really didn’t.”

“You did what you had to do to endure the atrocities you faced.”

Tim shook his head and wiped the tears away with his sleeve. Dr. Kroger pulled out a tissue and handed it to him. Tim dabbed his eyes, then blew his nose. His fingers closed around the tissue and he held onto it tightly, like a security blanket.

“I didn’t believe we’d be rescued until I was in the helicopter and flying away from the ship. I could see the Marines moving in; shots fired, rebels being grabbed and held. It was all so surreal, like I was watching a movie,” Tim said. “And then it hit me. I’d see Delilah again. And the guilt set in. I’d kissed another person. I let someone else hold me in his arms and comfort me. We touched each other intimately.”

“Thank you for sharing those details, Tim.”

“How can I even face Delilah? She’s pregnant with our children and I was with someone else. How could I even do that?”

“Would it have happened if you weren’t held captive?”

“No, of course not.”

“It was the circumstances you found yourself it. You had no control over what was happening and needed Gibbs to cope with your captivity. He helped you survive a very traumatic situation.”

“I can’t forgive myself.”

“Has anything like that happened since?”

“No. But, when it happened, he would say Tony’s name. It hurt to know he thought about Tony that way.” Tim’s sniffling brought on more tears. “And I was jealous that he was thinking about Tony instead of me.”

“That’s understandable.”

“I should have been thinking about Delilah, but I wasn’t. All I could think was, I’m touching Gibbs. Like I said, he has this reputation around NCIS. Just surviving on his team for a few years opens a lot of doors. I wanted him to be thinking about me, like…”

“Like you were thinking about him?”

“And then I’m mad at myself because I should only think about Delilah in that way.”

“People have fantasies. You can’t always control every thought that comes into your head,” said Stan. “Your mind does what it has to do to help you survive. This was a coping mechanism. And of course, you want the other person to be thinking about you.”

“And I wonder. I wonder if Delilah ever thinks about someone else,” Tim said softly.

“Thinking and doing are two different things.”

“I did both.”

“You can’t compare the situations. Apples and oranges. If this happened at the office when you were on duty, it would be completely different. When you were held captive, Gibbs became your entire world. He was the only person you had access to. If Delilah was there with you, do you doubt you would have stayed true?”

“No.”

“Have you thought any more about telling her?”

“No. I don’t know what to say. How do I tell my wife that I was intimate with my boss, and I’m jealous that he was thinking about another guy?”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way. When you get back to DC, I recommend that you take some time off and reconnect with Delilah. Be there for her.”

“So you think I should tell her? I couldn’t deal with it if she left me.”

“That’s up to you. You have to think about if it’s better to come clean and tell her now, risk her reaction, or keep it a secret and worry every single day for the rest of your life that she might find out, and then it would not only be what happened, but why you didn’t tell her. She’ll wonder if she can ever trust you to be honest with her again.”

“You’re right. How can she trust me, if I don’t trust her to accept me for who I am?”

“It’s not going to be easy, and she may be angry. But I think it’s better to tell her now than risk her finding out later. And if she gets mad, remind her that you made it home alive. And it was thinking about her and your babies that helped you survive because you were determined to get home to them. You had to do whatever you could to survive; things you would never have done had you not been held captive.”

Tim used the balled up tissue to dab his eyes again and nodded.

“This is what life is. A collection of experiences. It happened and now you need to move on. Focus on your kids. Focus on your marriage and your family. You survived being held captive under terrible circumstances. Raising a couple kids should be easy by comparison.”

“I’m still terrified of being responsible for two little lives.”

“All parents feel that way. It doesn’t get any easier. It’s your responsibility to raise them to be respectful, contributing members of society. You have to keep them safe and cared for, tend to them, and worry about them when they get sick. You’ll worry about them when they start going to school, dating and driving. You’ll worry when they go off to college, and when they get married and have kids of their own. It never ends.”

“Do you have kids?”

“Yeah. Two girls and a boy. My oldest daughter and son are each married with kids of their own. My youngest daughter is working on her Ph.D.”

“How does your wife handle you being away from home?”

“Quite well, actually. We divorced a few years ago.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We get along much better now. We care about each other, but we married too young. There were a lot of struggles. When we had time to stop and reevaluate our lives we realized how much we’d grown apart. We decided we rather give each other the chance to be happy apart, than stay together and be miserable. It’s great really. She remarried. I get along fine with her new husband. We can be in the same room with our kids and grandkids. I just prefer to be here in the mountains, and she prefers to live in Manhattan.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without Delilah.”

“You were older when you got married. That makes a difference. Just remember that a good marriage is hard work. It doesn’t just happen. You have to continue working at it. Keep that in mind, and find ways to make sure your marriage is a happy one. Make sure she knows she is the only person you want to be with.”

Tim nodded slowly. “Thanks, Dr. Kroger.”

Tony and Gibbs continued riding the ridges, watching for any sign of movement. After they finished the last of the sandwiches and chips for lunch, Gibbs agreed they should go back to the ranch that evening. However, he wanted to continue searching as long as it was still daylight.

In the late afternoon, Gibbs pulled Tambour to a stop. “There,” he said bluntly.

Tony looked and saw nothing. “What?”

“I think I saw a flash of gray.”

“Ghost horse,” Tony mumbled.

Gibbs had already urged Tambour into a trot, and was trying to determine the best trail to get to where he thought he saw something. A faint drizzle began to fall, almost as a mist. Tony zipped and snapped up his raincoat and followed after Gibbs and Tambour.

It took them almost two hours to pick their way down to the valley from the ridge, then to start up the mountain trail. Clouds rolled overhead, sometimes showering the pair with a light sprinkle; sometimes holding the rain until it passed them by.

The trail narrowed and Tony couldn’t help but notice how sheer the drop off was becoming. The trail was still plenty wide for them to even ride side by side, but Tony was sure to keep Peso as close to the mountain wall as possible.

“Where does this trail go?” asked Tony.

“Up,” Gibbs replied sharply.

“We’ve never ridden it.”

“I’ve ridden it with Billy and Wayne. It switches back to a mountain pass trail. During the westward expansion, several people spent a lot of time searching for the best trail through the mountains. Some were better than others.”

“So this trail goes through?”

“I have no idea. It at least goes quite a ways.” 

“Why haven’t we been up here before?”

“It’s not a trail the ranch uses on a regular basis for guests, but sometimes the wranglers take the lesser used trails for a change of pace. Sometimes they do special rides with more experienced riders,” said Gibbs.

“So this is considered a dangerous trail?”

“There is a potential for danger on all mountain trails.”

“Good to know.”

When the trail thinned, Gibbs dismounted and dropped to one knee.

“Everything okay there, Boss?”

“Hoof prints. Shod. Could be Whisper.”

“Can you tell how new they are?”

Sniffing the air, Gibbs looked up into the sky. “With all the rain we’ve had, they must be fresh. Otherwise, they would have been washed away.” A moment later, he was back in the saddle and leading the way again.

“Maybe they’re from the other wranglers out looking.”

“Nope. Only one horse. Everyone is out searching in pairs.”

Twenty minutes later, the trail split. One fork was partially blocked by a fallen tree, but was the wider, safer trail, cutting back across the mountain. The other trail narrowed and had a steep drop off as it followed the edge of the mountain.

“He went that way,” Gibbs said, pointing to the narrow fork.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Of course he did.”

Gibbs dismounted and tied Tambour to a tree branch. After eyeing the clouds, he took off the raincoat, laying it across the saddle before he grabbed the lasso that was tied to the saddle. “Let’s go.”

“On foot?”

“Yeah. Tambour and Peso need a break. I need to walk this trail so I can see the prints.”

“Yeah, okay,” said Tony as he dismounted. He led Peso to a tree at the edge of the trail and tied him like Gibbs had shown him. Taking off the long raincoat, he tied it to the saddle and replaced it with a light windbreaker. Pulling a bottle of water from his saddlebags, he took a quick drink before shoving the bottle into his jacket pocket and zipping it closed.

Gibbs was already several steps further up the trail. Tony followed, making sure he kept as close to the mountainside as he could. “Good thing McGee isn’t here with us.”

“Why’s that?”

“You know he’s scared to death of heights.”

“He did jump out of a helicopter.”

Tony smiled. “I asked Torres about that. He said they were only about three feet off the ground.”

“I think it was at least six.”

Tony eyed the sheer drop. “That has to be at least sixty feet.”

“Closer to eighty. Look at the bright side though.”

“What’s that?”

Gibbs grinned. “You’d have a nice long fall to think about things before making that sudden stop at the bottom.”

“That’s the bright side?”

“It’s not likely you’d survive. You’d be surprised how many people survive bad falls out here only to starve to death because they have broken bones or get trapped under a boulder.”

“As long as there is a silver lining.”

After another fifty feet, they gradually came around a bend and caught sight of Whisper standing on a rocky precipice.

“Oh god!” exclaimed Tony. 

“Freeze!” Gibbs said quickly, holding his arm out as if he were afraid Tony would run toward the horse. “No sudden moves. You might spook him.”

Whisper was startled by their sudden appearance. He snorted and pawed the rocks beneath him, sending a few scattering over the edge and plummeting below.

“How are we going to get him?” Tony asked.

They could see that the trail disappeared beyond where Whisper stood. If it had ever continued, it had weathered away over the decades. The gray horse eyed them suspiciously, then abruptly started toward them at a brisk trot.

Gibbs quickly tossed the rope as the horse passed him, but missed. He’d previously tied a special knot so the loop would remain open until the horse pulled his full weight against it. As Whisper ran by so swiftly, Gibbs simply hadn’t had enough time to set up a good throw. 

Tony tried to block the trail, hoping to stop Whisper in his tracks. Instead, Whisper picked up his pace and brushed passed him. The horse’s momentum pushed Tony over the edge.

“Holy shit!” he yelled as he grasped at anything he could. One of his hands grabbed a scraggly plant, and the other caught hold of the edge of a rock. He glanced down briefly, seeing nothing he could use to get his footing. “Boss! Help!”

“Tony!” Gibbs hollered as he ran to where Tony had disappeared over the edge. “Hold on!”

Tony had dropped too far for Gibbs to reach him. The rock face was steeply graded. There was no way Gibbs could make his way down to Tony without falling. Working quickly, he dropped the lasso’s end down to Tony.

“Take it,” he urged.

Tony eyed the rope suspiciously and looked back to his hands. “I can’t. If I let go, I’m going to fall.”

“You can’t hold on forever. I can’t get you. You have to grab the rope.”

“It’s too far away.”

Gibbs tried two more tosses. “You’ve got to grab it. It’s the only way. Take the damn rope, Skippy.”

Tony looked doubtful. It had only been a couple minutes, but he could already feel his grip weakening. His voice shook. “I can’t. Just go. I don’t want you to see me fall.”

“You’re not going to fall. Damn it, grab that rope! That’s a fucking order.”

“You’re not my boss anymore.”

Gibbs sighed and pulled the rope back in and tried tossing it closer. On his third new try, the loop was nearly at Tony’s foot. “God, Tony. Please grab the rope. That’s as close as I can get. Put your foot through the loop, then grab the rope. You’ve got to. I need you to do this. Please. It’s right there. Look down and slip your foot through.”

Tony took a deep breath then glanced down at his foot. The rope was there; so close. It didn’t take much effort to slip his left foot through. Gibbs lifted the rope up a few inches. 

“You’re doing it! Now put your other foot in there, through the loop. You can do this. You’ve got to do this.”

Horrible scenes flashed through Tony’s thoughts. He imagined the rope catching him at his knees, and when his grip slipped he’d drop down and bash his head against the rocks when the rope caught his weight. He found himself breathing heavily and cursed the diminished capacity of his lungs. Between that, and the altitude, he was finding it very difficult to breathe.

“Your other foot, Tony, please.”

Tony carefully slipped his other foot through.

“You’re doing great,” Gibbs said encouragingly as he pulled the rope a little higher, past Tony’s knees. “Just reach out and grab it. Please. One hand, then the other. You’re going to be fine.” Gibbs tried his best to jiggle the rope closer to Tony’s hand.

Tony felt his grip weakening further. Closing his eyes, he prayed for strength. A moment later, he felt the rope brush his hand. In an instant, he released his grip on the rocky crag and grasped at the rope. He’d barely gotten a decent hold on it when the plant he was holding onto broke away, leaving him panicking and scrabbling to get a firm grip on the rope with both hands. He’d managed to wiggle and squirm so the loop of the rope had come over his hips and around his waist beneath his windbreaker. It wasn’t until his full weight was on the rope that the loop tightened around his chest. 

He felt himself slip down a good three feet, knowing Gibbs was now holding his full weight. He reached for the rocky face, trying to get any sort of a grip so he could hold part of his weight until Gibbs was able to stabilize himself. The last thing he wanted to do was to pull Gibbs over the side with him. 

If only Gibbs could hold his weight, maybe he could walk his way up the side of the mountain. Looking up, Tony didn’t like the distance he had to traverse to get back to safety. Having the rope tightening around his chest and his added panic, he began hyperventilating trying to catch his breath.

“Boss?” he called shakily.

“Yeah?”

“If you can’t hold me, just let me go. Okay?”

“I’m not going to drop you,” Gibbs promised.

Tony could feel his panic taking over, as he felt himself slipping down a few more inches, and his hands began to tremble. “I don’t want to pull you over with me. If you can’t hold me, you have to let me go.”

“I am not going to let you go,” Gibbs said through gritted teeth as he fought to hold the rope steady.

Tony could tell from his voice that Gibbs was straining to hold him. “I can’t get a grip,” he yelled. “You can’t pull me up. There’s no need for you to die, too.”

“Don’t you dare give up on me, DiNozzo. Fight for it.”

Tony felt the tears welling in his eyes. The rope was continuing to tighten around his chest making it even more difficult to breathe. He knew what he had to do. His fingers shook slightly as he reached for the holster on his belt, and pulled the knife out. He stared at the knife for a minute. Part of him wanted  
to drop it, and watch it fall out of reach. The other part of him was convinced that the only way to save Gibbs’ life was to cut the rope.

He began gasping, straining to catch his breath. “Got to do it,” he mumbled to himself. “It’s the only way.”

Tony’s weight pulled Gibbs toward the edge. He fought to keep his boots from sliding across the trail. Then he let loose a long, shrill whistle as a sprinkling rain began to fall.

Tony had flipped the blade of the knife open and had it resting against the rope. But he hesitated. Why did Gibbs whistle? “Someone up there, Boss?” Tony hoped the other wranglers were coming up the trail to help them. Maybe it was Billy and Brent. He could hear something on the trail besides Gibbs.

Seconds later, he felt himself being jerked up so quickly that he dropped his knife. It clattered against the rocks briefly before bouncing out of view as the rain began to come down harder.

When he was finally pulled up over the edge, he could barely catch his breath. He blinked his eyes a couple times, then focused on Gibbs’ hand reaching for him. He gladly grasped it. A few feet down the trail stood Peso. The rope was wrapped around his saddle horn.

“How did you get him without letting go of the rope?”

Gibbs was breathing heavily, too, but was working to calm himself. Using the back of his hand, he wiped the rain and sweat from his brow. “Couldn’t lose you,” he said as he patted Tony’s thigh. “I remembered Peso knew how to untie himself and that he’s trained to come when you whistle. I was hoping it would work.”

Tony was sprawled across the trail as he tried to catch his breath. He barely registered that it was raining. Gibbs pulled him to his feet, grabbed Peso’s reins and led them both down the trail to where Tambour was waiting. He pulled Tony further into the trees. 

It was still raining hard enough that they were getting wet, but the trees helped sheltered them a little bit. Gibbs worked to loosen the rope from Tony’s chest, and sat him up and removed the windbreaker so he could pull the lasso’s loop over his head. Once Tony was freed from the rope, Gibbs gently let him lie back against the ground. Next, he dug out one of the sleeping bags, unzipped it and laid it on the ground and maneuvered Tony onto it. He then unzipped and unfurled the second one and used it as a cover.

“How do you feel?”

“Kind of crappy.”

“It’s getting dark and it would be at least three hours before we got back to the ranch.”

“I’m not sure I can ride. I think I may have cracked a rib or two.”

Pulling back the top sleeping bag, Gibbs poked and prodded Tony’s ribs. Tony grimaced and gasped. “Damn,” said Gibbs. “You stay here.”

“I’m not sure I have a choice.”

Gibbs unsaddled the horses, and used one of the saddles to prop Tony up and make him more comfortable. Digging into their first aid kit, he found a packet of pain relievers. He pressed a bottle of water into Tony’s hand along with the pills. “It’s the last one. Sip it slowly.”

“I’m sorry,” said Tony.

“For what?”

“For getting hurt. For letting Whisper get away.”

“It’s not your fault and we’ll get him.”

“What if he makes it over the mountain pass?”

“He ran because he was scared. He’s probably somewhere between us and the ranch. I’m going to see if I can find something to eat.”

Gibbs grabbed the rifle and walked off into the fading evening light. Tony drifted in and out of sleep, doing his best to remain still. Any movement brought a sharp pain to his ribs. His napping was interrupted by a couple of rifle shots, but he soon dozed off again. A short time later, he heard a few more shots. 

“I hope that’s dinner,” he muttered to himself.

It was dark before Gibbs returned to their camp with a couple dead birds in his hand. He was carrying a couple of the lights Billy had given them for the saddles. 

“What did you get?” Tony asked.

“Shot a couple of birds.”

“What kind?”

“Does it matter?”

“Guess not.”

Gibbs searched out the driest spots beneath the tree canopy, and brushed away the leaves until he found enough dry branches to build a fire. Once it was lit, he grabbed his knife and one of the birds. “Grouse,” he said simply.

“What?”

“The bird, it’s a grouse. They’re supposed to be tasty. Are you hungry?”

“I could eat.”

Gibbs did his best to prep the birds with the limited lighting they had. Gathering a few thin sticks, he was able to prop them up near the fire and use them as a rotisserie spit so he could cook bits of meat. There wasn’t much, but he cooked what they had and offered the first of it to Tony.

Wincing, Tony struggled to sit up, having to roll to his side, and push himself up slowly. Before taking the bits of meat Gibbs offered, he asked, “Do you mind cutting the chunks smaller?” 

“Where’s your knife?”

“Lost it.”

“When? You had it last night.”

“It fell when I was hanging off that cliff.”

“Oh. That will do it.” Using his own knife, Gibbs cut the pieces smaller, then handed them to Tony.

“Not bad, Gibbs,” he said.

“Anything tastes good when you’re hungry.”

After they ate, they both took a few sips from the final water bottle. Gibbs added a few branches to the fire. A cool breeze swirled down the mountainside. 

Gibbs pulled off his boots and set them upside down, using sticks to prop them up. “Did you get your boots off?” he asked.

Tony shook his head. “I just don’t have any strength left. I’m sore all over.”

“No problem,” Gibbs said as he pulled back the top sleeping bag and removed Tony’s boots. Using a few more sticks, he set them upside down as he had his own. “It’ll keep them dry on the inside, in case it rains throughout the night. Also keeps bugs, snakes and other critters from thinking they might want to move in.”

With that, he covered Tony’s feet, then slipped under the cover beside him.

“Looks like a full moon tonight,” said Tony.

Gibbs glanced up through the sparse trees. “Not much cover up here; too close to the tree line.”

“What’s that?”

“The altitude above where trees can grow. We could go back down the trail and find a place with better shelter. I could find more dry wood and build a bigger fire.”

“I don’t know why, but I’m just exhausted. I can barely move. I really need to rest up a bit before I can move.”

“It takes energy for your body to heal. Rest up. We’ll head back down at daybreak,” Gibbs promised. “Are you going to be warm enough?”

“I’m fine. Just tired.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Overnight, they were hit by a deluge of rain. Tony was awoken when a large tree cracked and fell nearby. Panicked, he screamed as images of falling flooded him. Gibbs had to physically hold Tony down to calm him.

Their fire had been doused by the downpour. The rain was heavy and cold. It was only a matter of time until the sleeping bag covering them was drenched and water came through and soaked them both. 

“We’ve got to go,” Tony said as he struggled to sit up and to breathe. “We have to get to better cover.”

Gibbs pushed him back down. “You’re in no shape to move. It’s too dark and it’s raining too hard. We couldn’t even get the horses saddled in this mess.”

Tony sighed, shivered, and settled back again. “I guess we’re just going to get wet.”

Gibbs chuckled as rain dripped off his nose. “We are already wet.” 

Tony eyed their packs a few feet away. They were closed, waterproof and off the ground. At least they’d have a dry change of clothing once the rain stopped.

Every few moments lightning lit the sky and caused Tony to wince. Gibbs sidled closer and held him tightly. “You’re shaking.”

Tony swallowed hard before answering as his teeth chattered. “It’s cold and I’m soaked through.”

“I’ll keep you warm,” Gibbs promised as he wrapped his arms around Tony and cradled him. “I’ll keep you safe.”

The rain swept through in waves that varied in velocity. Sometimes the wind howled with bone-chilling strength, snapping limbs and branches, and occasionally uprooting weaker trees.

Every time a tree cracked, or thunder rumbled above them, Tony winced and shook. Gibbs would stroke his hair, cup his chin and tell him everything would be alright.

“I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much,” Tony said. “I’m acting like a soggy McGee. I’ll bet he didn’t handle captivity well.”

“Some days were better than others.”

“When I first started working for you, I couldn’t have pictured you in the role of comforter.”

“And now?”

“I’m sure you did your best to comfort and protect Tim. And you’re comforting me now.”

“Is it working?”

“Yeah,” Tony admitted. “I feel like I’ve had a very rough day.”

“You did.”

“I’m sure it wasn’t as rough as your captivity; being starved and beaten.”

Gibbs shook his head slightly. “I always felt they’d been given orders to keep us alive. It was tough. It was painful. But I never doubted we’d live through it.”

“Did you doubt I was going to survive today?”

Gibbs hugged Tony more tightly, his cheek pressed against Tony’s forehead. “Yeah, for a few minutes there, I was afraid I was going to lose you. I saw Whisper wasn’t slowing down. The moment you two collided, I was afraid you’d be knocked over the edge.”

“I didn’t even think about it. I’ve seen the wranglers do that at the stable, stand in front of a horse out in the pasture and the horse slows down, stops, or turns to the side. I didn’t think he’d try to run by me. Then my heart jumped when he picked up speed. I didn’t have time to get out of the way.”

“You didn’t have anywhere else to go.”

“If I was the trick riding daughter, maybe I could have vaulted right over him.”

“I saw you going over the edge and thought that was it. My heart just sank. I was relieved when you screamed my name. I knew I could get you if you could just hold on.”

“I was holding on for dear life. I knew if I couldn’t, I’d be dead. But I have to admit, I didn’t know how you could save me. I didn’t want you to have to watch me fall. Or hear it in the case I screamed like a little girl all the way to the bottom. I was determined not to make you hear that. I was afraid I was going to pull you down with me.”

“I thought that was a possibility. I felt myself slipping on the gravel trail. I did my best to dig in my heels and hold onto you.”

“I’m glad you thought about Peso. I was about to cut the rope when I heard you whistle.”

“You what?” Gibbs asked as he pulled back to see Tony’s face. “You were going to cut the rope?”

“Come on, Boss. I didn’t want to pull you over with me. I could tell you were slipping. That’s how I lost my knife. When Peso dug in and pulled, it fell. He jerked me up so hard, that it cracked my ribs and I dropped my knife. Small price to pay though, for getting saved.”

Gibbs’ tears were hidden by the falling rain, but he sniffled and pulled Tony close again. “God, Tony. I would have died if I felt the rope go slack. I was determined to save you. I just had to figure out how. Hell, I was trying to find something to tie the rope to. I would have ridden back to the ranch for help if I had to. What would I do without you?”

“You’d survive; go back to work. I didn’t want to bring you down. I didn’t want to be responsible for you getting pulled to your death.”

Gibbs shook his head. “If you died on this mountain, I wouldn’t have gone back to work. I’d be done.”

“Why?”

“Your death would have killed me. I brought you up here. Your death would have been on my hands.”

“It wasn’t your idea to jump out in front of a horse on a narrow mountain trail.”

“No, that was all you.”

“You could have gone back to work. It wouldn’t matter. You could have pretended I went back to Spain. It’s not like you even wanted me on your team anymore,” said Tony.

“It’s not what you think.”

“I couldn’t stand having you snap at me all the time. I couldn’t stand the disappointment in your eyes and the anger in your voice. Asking to be off your team was one of the most difficult decisions I ever made. It still breaks my heart a little bit. There’s one thing I never figured out though. What did I do to make you mad at me? What did I do that you lost faith in me?”

Gibbs threaded his fingers through Tony’s hair. “It wasn’t you. It wasn’t. It was me. I was mad at myself.”

“What do you mean? You were yelling at me.”

Gibbs took a deep breath, then kissed Tony on the mouth, holding it for a full minute before he pulled away and rested his forehead against Tony’s. “I realized that I counted on you too much.”

“What?”

“I realized that I was closer to you than anybody else. We could anticipate each other’s moves better than anyone else.”

“And that’s what made us a great team.”

“I was screwing up. I couldn’t focus on anything but you. I was mad at myself because I wanted to be with you more than I wanted to do my job. And that wasn’t right. My life is my job.”

“You’ve always done your job, Boss. Whether I was there or not.”

“I couldn’t keep you on my team when all I could think about was what it would like to be with you.”

“We were together for fifteen years. We were a great team.”

Gibbs cupped Tony’s chin and kissed him again. “I wanted more. And I couldn’t have it. I couldn’t keep working with you and knowing I could never have you.” Another kiss followed. “I had to set you free.”

“Wait a minute. What are you saying?”

“Tony DiNozzo, I’m in love with you. Have been for years. I just finally realized it. I love you.”

“And if you love something, you set it free,” Tony mused. “You set me free because you loved me? You wanted me to come back?”

Gibbs smiled through the raindrops and kissed Tony again. When he broke the kiss, he hugged Tony tightly. “I’ve never wanted you more.”


	9. The Road Back Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Tony and Gibbs return to the ranch._

Tim was in his bed, unable to sleep. The raging storm was keeping him awake as he worried about Tony and Gibbs. He couldn’t imagine being outside in this weather at all, let alone trying to sleep in it. He’d slipped on a pair of sweatpants and was wearing an old MIT T-shirt that was comfortable to sleep in.

Walking to the front of the cabin, he looked out into the weather and turned the heat three degrees warmer. He eyed the coffee maker across the room and was thankful it was in the cabin. The thought of having to traipse through the cold, rainy night to the main lobby for a cup of coffee made him shiver. 

Within minutes he was sitting on the front porch, sipping a cup of steaming hot coffee while he wondered where his friends were. “WWGD,” he muttered to himself. “What would Gibbs do?” After a pause, he rolled his neck and answered himself. “If I were out there, he’d come looking for me.”

He wouldn’t allow himself to think that Gibbs and Tony were possibly lost or injured. “Gibbs doesn’t get lost,” he reminded himself. He’d meandered over to the stables a couple times to inquire about them. Although Gibbs and Tony hadn’t checked in, the other wranglers reported seeing the pair riding along the ridges. “I wonder how many supplies they took with them?” 

When he walked back inside the cabin, he glanced into Gibbs’ room and saw the red hoodie on top of the bed. Picking it up, he sniffed it, then held it close to his chest. “Wherever you are, I hope you’re safe.” After a brief pause, he added, “And Tony, too.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Tony melted into Gibbs’ kisses. Not wanting to waste time trying to process what was happening, he was determined to just enjoy the comforting warmth of having another body holding him close. It took his mind off the rain and the pain in his chest.

Minutes later, he pushed back and looked into the blue eyes. “You’re in love with me?”

Gibbs nodded slowly.

“Huh. Didn’t see that one coming.”

Gibbs reached out and brushed Tony’s hair off his forehead. “Is that okay?”

Tony smiled and leaned in for another kiss. “Did you kick me off the team because of rule twelve?”

“I didn’t kick you off my team. You put in for a transfer.”

“You were making it impossible for me to stay. I was questioning everything. It was driving me crazy trying to figure out what I did wrong.”

“I really mean this. I am sorry. Once I figured it out, I didn’t know how to deal with it. It had been so long since I felt like that about someone.”

“Shannon?” 

Gibbs nodded. “I tried to make it work with Diane, and Rebecca, and Stephanie. It never worked because I didn’t really love them. Not the deep love I had for Shannon, and you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“How could I? I didn’t even know you were into guys. You were my partner and subordinate. I didn’t want to take advantage or make you uncomfortable.”

“You were afraid I’d turn you down,” Tony said as he shivered again from the cold. “I vote for going back to the ranch at first light. Since we can’t have a fire at the moment, it’s your duty to keep me warm until daylight.”

Gibbs pulled Tony close again and rubbed his back. “I have your six.”

Tony worked a hand free and reached down to cup Gibbs’ ass. “And I have yours.”

“Are you mad at me?” Gibbs asked.

“For what?”

“You said you felt I pushed you away. I was really just trying to keep my hands off of you. It pissed me off to have to spend time with you, to see you every day thinking about you the way I was, and knowing I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“I guess my running off to Spain made it easier for you.”

“It didn’t make me think about you any less.”

“You didn’t keep in touch.”

“I didn’t know what to say. And I knew you’d stay in touch with Tim and Abby. I was afraid if I talked to you all we’d do is fight. Or you’d ask me to visit you in Spain.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“I knew if I saw you again, I’d never want to let you go.”

“And then Vance pulls me in to find you in Paraguay.”

Gibbs reached out and cupped Tony’s cheek. “I couldn’t imagine a better sight. Not just being rescued, but seeing you there; knowing you were there for me.”

“You didn’t seem too happy when he sent me to your house to escort you to the airport.”

“I wanted to hold you and kiss you so badly. And that was before I knew about Rafael.”

“What does he have to do with anything? I told you, that’s over.”

“I didn’t know you were into guys. I didn’t know there was ever the slightest chance. For us.”

Tony wiped the rain from Gibbs’ cheek. “Yeah, there was a chance. I must confess, the first time I saw you, I was definitely intrigued. But I didn’t think I had a chance.”

“Why not?”

“Are you kidding? You were married for one thing, and in law enforcement for another, which tends to frown on guys as a couple. I could tell you were former military from the way you walked and your haircut. I never thought you would be with a man. But I knew I could learn from you; about the job. I wanted to work with you.”

“I got divorced.”

“Yeah, it was in the works when we met. I remember. But you seemed to be as straight as they come. Since when are you into guys?”

“I don’t know. Since I met you, I guess.”

“So, you’ve never really been with a guy? I’d be your first?”

“Yeah. But I figure I could learn a thing or two from you.”

“You’ve always been an interesting guy.”

“So, are you interested? In me?” Gibbs asked.

“If this is going to work, I’d have to return to DC.”

“You told me Vance already put someone in your place running the team in Rota.”

“I guess that is true.”

“So you’ve already packed your bags and shipped all your stuff back to DC?”

“Most of it’s still in storage in DC. I left sort of in a hurry and paid for a full year on the storage unit. I planned to use my vacation time to come back and sort it out, decide what to do with it all. I didn’t want to give up the piano, but couldn’t see shipping it to Spain. And as long as I was paying to store that, I had room for my other stuff.”

“You could have left your things at my house.”

“I didn’t think you had room for a baby grand.”

“I have the back room. I’d have to clear out some stuff, but I’m sure it would fit. We can turn it into a music room.”

“Are you inviting me to stay with you temporarily or permanently?”

Gibbs paused to think for a few moments. “The offer is for as long as you like. It can be permanent. No strings attached. Damn, I’ve missed you. I didn’t think I’d miss you so much.”

The pair fell asleep in each other’s arms, as the rain dwindled down to a drizzle.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

The next morning, Tony stretched when he awoke and was instantly reminded of the pain in his ribs. “Ouch!”

Gibbs was already awake and changed into his dry clothes. His wet ones were propped up on branches. “Did you mean what you said yesterday?” he asked as he reached out a hand to help Tony to his feet.

“That I love you, too? Did I say that? I do, you know. I just never even suspected there was a chance because I thought you were totally straight.”

“I meant, about the way you lost your knife. You were going to cut the rope?”

Tony nodded as he limped over to his go bag. Gibbs helped him get his wet shirt off as Tony gasped and winced.

“Yeah, it’s true,” said Tony. “I could feel myself dropping because I was pulling you closer to the edge. There was no reason for us both to die.”

Gibbs took hold of Tony’s hands and sat him down on a tree stump. “I can’t believe I was so close to losing you. What would I have done without you?”

“You’d find Whisper and go back to the ranch.”

“Not funny. Raise your arms up.”

Tony did as Gibbs asked, lifting his hands up over his head with a slight groan. 

Gibbs poked into the first aid kit and brought some tape over. As he prodded at Tony’s ribs, he asked, “Tell me which ones hurt the most.” As Tony groaned and griped about the pain, Gibbs cut a T-shirt into strips, then wrapped it around Tony’s ribs, and carefully taped it into place. “Better?”

“Still tough to breathe.”

Gibbs pulled another packet of pain relievers from the first aid kit and tossed them to Tony. “Take these.” When he checked their last water bottle, he found it was empty.

“Look in the pocket of my windbreaker,” said Tony. “Over there. I had a bottle of water in the pocket.”

Gibbs unzipped the pocket and found a nearly full bottle of water and handed it to Tony. “Good. You won’t have to swallow them dry.”

“I wasn’t hoarding it. I just forgot about it until now,” he said after taking the pills. “You should drink some, too.”

“Hold onto it. I’ll let you know if I need some. You’re wounded. You need it more than I do.”

Gibbs had covered the saddle pads with his own rain jacket the night before, so they were relatively dry. When he walked back to where they’d left the horses tied up, he found Whisper standing near Tambour, but Peso was gone. As quietly as he could, he returned to where they had camped and grabbed the lasso.

“Whisper is down there with Tambour. I think I can get him,” he said softly.

Tony struggled to his feet, one hand pressed against his ribs. “I’ll go with you.”

“Are you going to jump in front of him again?”

“I was trying to help.”

“Stay here and get dressed. I don’t want to take a chance on you getting hurt worse.”

Gibbs had no trouble slipping the rope over Whisper’s head and fashioning a crude halter. He tied the other end around a tree and walked back to the main trail. Although he didn’t see Peso, he saw hoof prints and began following them down the path. He whistled as he walked. After sixteen minutes he found Peso walking up the trail toward him. He grabbed the buckskin’s lead line and patted his neck. 

“Went looking for a better patch of grass, didn’t you?”

By the time he’d led Peso back to where Tambour and Whisper were waiting, he found Tony was there.

“You were gone for too long. I came to see what the holdup was,” said Tony. 

“Peso untied himself and went off looking for a better source of food. I was afraid he might have taken off for the ranch.”

“We still had Whisper.”

“That’s true.”

Tony did his best to help, but he couldn’t lift too much weight without causing himself pain. “Maybe I should walk back to the ranch. I’m not sure my ribs can take the jostling of a horseback ride.”

“I want you to ride Tambour. He’s smoother than Peso and less likely to take off running. You sit and I’ll lead you back.”

Tony nodded as he carried his pack back to the horses.

Gibbs saddled Tambour and Peso, and secured the packs. The rain had stopped for the moment, so he stowed away the rain gear, promising they’d stop and put it on if the rain started back up again.

Gibbs walked out to the trail alone, and fired the rifle twice into the air, paused a few seconds, then fired again to signal that they’d found Whisper. After putting the rifle away, he helped Tony get mounted onto Tambour.

“I can keep him on a lead line if you’d like.”

Tony shook his head. “I’ll be fine.”

Gibbs nodded and tied Whisper’s rope to Peso’s saddle, then mounted up and moved Peso onto the trail. Gibbs kept the buckskin at a steady walk, but often turned to check on Tony. If Tony seemed to be in pain, Gibbs would stop and let Tony catch his breath for a few minutes.

It took them nearly five hours to get back to the stables. As they rode down the trail, they could see several of the wranglers hauling off the wood from the massive tree that had fallen. It had been cut into smaller pieces and was loaded into wagons and pulled by horses over to where they kept cut wood to heat the  
family’s homes throughout the year. The wranglers paused in their work to cheer the return of Tony, Gibbs and Whisper. 

Gibbs dismounted first when they arrived back at the barn. After securing Peso to a hitching post, he helped Tony dismount and sat him on an old rocking chair, one of many chairs near the barn that the wranglers often used.

Brent came over and offered to help put the horses away, once he saw Tony was in pain. “You should have the doctor check him out,” the wrangler suggested.

“He cracked his ribs. I taped them up the best I could. Not much else we can do,” said Gibbs. “The roads aren’t exactly smooth. I figured walking would be less jostling for him.”

“Could be,” said Brent. “What happened? Did Peso toss him?”

Gibbs smiled as he shook his head. “Nope. Whisper tried to knock him off the side of the mountain. I used Peso to haul him back up with a rope. It was the rope tightening around his chest that cracked his ribs.”

“Are you kidding?”

“Nope.”

“That’s wild.”

“Yeah, but he survived.”

“Lost my knife,” Tony added.

Gibbs helped Tony onto his feet and put Tony’s arm around his shoulder, so he could take some of the weight. They walked slowly across the compound. Tim was just leaving the dining hall when he saw them on a path and ran to them.

“I’m glad to see you guys are back. Are you okay, Tony?”

“Cracked my ribs.”

“Did you get thrown?”

“I got knocked off the side of a mountain. Would have killed you, Probie.”

“Hey, I haven’t been a probie for years.”

“You’ll always be my probie, _Probie_.”

“Grab his other arm,” said Gibbs. “We need to take him over to the doctor’s office to get checked out.”

They walked slowly and Tony was exhausted and grimacing by the time they arrived at the medical office. The doctor was just finishing up cleaning the scraped up hands and legs of a pair of teenaged boys who decided to try their hand at scaling a steep rocky section of a mountain, instead of using the trail.

Minutes later, he led Tony into the exam room while Gibbs and McGee waited in the lobby.

“I’m Dr. Weston. What happened?” 

“Hi Doc. We were chasing a horse up a mountain path. Somehow the horse rushed by and knocked me off the side of the mountain.”

“Oh, my!”

Tony continued with a retelling of his story and how Gibbs saved him and patched him up.

“Hmmm,” noted the doctor. “Can you take off your shirt? Let me help you.” Once Tony’s shirt was removed the doctor poked and prodded at Tony’s ribs causing him to groan in pain. “Your friend did a fine job taping up your ribs.”

“Yeah. I was having trouble breathing and every step caused me more pain.”

“He did a good job with what he had. Now, the truth is, I don’t have an x-ray machine here, and that is something you should have checked out. It’s getting late in the day. If you go to the nearest hospital now, you’ll probably need to stay in town overnight. The other option is to go in tomorrow morning. That should have you back here by the afternoon.”

“Will it hurt anything to wait until tomorrow?” Tony asked.

“Probably not. There isn’t anything we can do for cracked ribs except tape them up and give you pain medication. They may prescribe something stronger for the pain. And if you’re in extreme pain, I would urge you to go today. If not, it’s more of a precaution to ensure there isn’t any other damage.”

“Like a punctured lung?”

“That’s unlikely at this point. You’d most likely be coughing up blood, or would have already passed away from internal bleeding. Chances are, it is just a couple cracked ribs. I’m going to give you something for the pain, and some more tape. You should clean the area and have your friend re-tape the ribs for you as needed. If he’s not available, you can come see me.”

“I can do that.”

“I’m also going to clean up your hands.”

Tony turned his hands over, looking at the fronts and backs. The fingernails were cracked and torn. The palms had roughed up skin, with bloody wounds that had lightly scabbed over. “I hadn’t even noticed.”

“I imagine the pain from your ribs, and the trouble you described in breathing, were your main concerns. You said it was near dark when this happened, right?”

“The storm came back up. It got dark fast and poured rain on us,” Tony explained.

“That’s why you didn’t notice.”

The doctor cleaned the wounds and trimmed away some of the torn skin and fingernails before applying a salve and bandages. When he was done, he handed Tony a bag. “I’m giving you a box of exam gloves. You should wear those outside until your hands heal up a bit. You don’t want them to get infected. And there is some ointment, pain pills, bandages and tape for your ribs. If you need more of anything, come see me.”

“Will do. Thanks, Dr. Weston.”

“You’re welcome, Tony.”

When the doctor escorted him back to the lobby, they only found Tim waiting for him.

“Where’s Gibbs?” Tony asked. “Let me guess. He went for coffee, right?”

Tim closed the magazine he was reading and returned it to the table. “Dr. Kroger heard he was back and came to get him. Seems that he missed a couple sessions and Dr. Kroger had some time to see him now. I’m here though. I’ll help you back to the cabin.”

“Can we go to the dining hall first? I haven’t had a thing to eat all day.”

“Yeah, sure.”

When Dr. Kroger heard that Gibbs was back at the ranch, he made a point to catch up to him. Their first stop was the dining hall for coffee, and to grab some sandwiches and chips to go. They then returned to his office and ate as they talked.

“What happened to Tony?” Dr. Kroger asked. “Why did he need medical attention?”

Gibbs relayed the story between bites of the sandwich. 

“He’s lucky to be alive,” said Stan. “It’s a good thing you were there to save him.”

“Tony could have died. If he hadn’t found a handhold, or hadn’t grabbed the rope, he would have fallen to his death. I don’t know what I would have done without him.”

“It would have been a terrible loss for you, but you would have moved on.”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure I could have. Tony means the world to me.”

“Have you told him that?”

Gibbs nodded. “We talked last night. I admitted that I loved him.”

“How did he react?”

“He said he cared for me, too. He’s agreeable to moving back to DC and giving it a shot; being in a relationship with me.”

“Then what is bothering you? Tony will be fine, but you still seem shaken; troubled.”

Gibbs took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’d lowered a rope down to him. When he got it around his body, and he let go of his handholds, I took his full weight. I was afraid I couldn’t hold him. His weight was pulling me closer to the edge.”

“Oh, wow. He could have pulled you right over the side, too.”

“We had brought Peso and I remembered he has a couple special talents. He can untie a lead line and was trained to come when you whistle.”

“You whistled and he came?”

“Yeah. I tied the rope around the saddle horn and had him pull Tony up to safety.”

“I’m glad you had him with you.”

“Tony told me later that he had pulled out his knife and was ready to cut the rope. He was afraid he was going to pull me over the edge, so he was going to cut the rope and sacrifice himself to save me.”

“As difficult as that must have been, it was sound judgment on his side. If he truly was pulling you over the edge, his cutting the rope would have saved your life. I haven’t known you for very long, but I imagine you would have gone over the edge before you would have let go of that rope.”

“I could never let him go. It’s terrifying how close I came to losing him for good. When he went to Spain, I knew he was still alive. If he fell, there was no chance he would have survived an eighty-foot drop.”

“And it would be difficult to live with that guilt. From what you said, it wasn’t your fault. The horse pushed him off the side.”

“He was up there because of me. He could have stayed at the ranch where he was safe.”

“You wanted him at your side.”

“Yeah,” Gibbs admitted. “Yeah, I did.”

“And now, you’ve told him you have feelings for him. You can’t dwell on the past, Gibbs. It’s frightening to think about what could have happened, but it’s fantastic that you saved his life. He’s still here and so are you. You said he was willing to give a relationship with you a shot. I think you both have a lot to live for. You need to let go of your fears and negativity. Relationships are hard work. Try focusing on making this relationship work. This is what you want, right?”

“I’d like to try.”

“Don’t aim to try. Aim to succeed.”

Gibbs smiled and nodded. “Sure, Doc.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Tim offered to carry Tony’s bag as they walked to the dining hall. Tony opted for a hot meal of meatloaf and mashed potatoes, along with a bowl of warm southwest chicken soup.

“How was it?” Tim asked. “Camping out in all that rain?”

“It was horrible. It was freezing cold and there is nothing like drowning in a sleeping bag.”

“Why didn’t you guys come back to the cabin?”

“By the time Gibbs pulled me up the side of the mountain, and walked me to a safe spot where I could rest, and patched up my wounds, it was already getting dark out. And it was still raining. We were hoping the spot we chose would keep us safe and relatively dry, but it rained so hard overnight that it put out the fire and soaked us through. I was freezing. It was so cold.”

Tim asked what had happened. Tony winced as he retold his tale once more, pausing as he ate. 

“You could have dragged Gibbs over the edge.”

“I wouldn’t have. I felt him slipping. I took out my knife and was ready to cut the rope.”

“Tony!” Tim exclaimed sharply. “You would have fallen to your death!”

“True. But if I was going to go, I didn’t want to drag him down with me. I was just about to cut the rope when I heard Gibbs whistle. I thought someone else had shown up to help. But he was whistling for Peso. Gibbs was able to wrap the rope around the saddle horn and used the horse’s power to pull me up.”

“Wow. That is one heck of a story.”

“It was scary as hell. That is for sure.”

After they finished eating, Tim escorted Tony back to the cabin and made him comfortable on the couch. He pulled a bottle of water out of the mini-fridge and handed it to Tony, along with a packet of pain pills. “You don’t have to take them now, but I thought you’ll want them sooner or later.”

“Thanks, Tim.”

“Gibbs really cares about you.”

“I know.”

“I think maybe he cares more than you know.”

“Remember the night you two were discussing that?”

“Yeah?” Tim said slowly, unsure of where Tony was taking the conversation.

“I was sitting out on the porch for a lot of it. The windows were open, so I heard most of what you guys said.”

“So you know?”

“I know. He told me last night. I guess he realized how close I came to dying. Near death experiences sometimes change behaviors and make you think about things more. When you realize you might not get another chance, it’s time to come clean and go for it. So he told me.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said I was willing to give it a shot.”

Tim smiled weakly. “Good. That means you’re moving back to DC?”

“It looks that way. I have to clear it with Vance, of course.”

“After you rescued us, I don’t know how he could turn you down.”

“And what happened between you and Gibbs. It’s fine. You did what you had to do.”

Tim’s eyes grew wide. “He _told_ you?” At that point, Gibbs returned to the cabin. Tim turned to face Gibbs and asked, “You told him what happened?”

“Told him what?” Gibbs asked.

Tim turned back to Tony. “He didn’t tell you anything.”

Tony laughed until he was coughing. “You’re still way too easy, Probie.”

“I’m not a probie anymore. I’m Gibbs’ senior field agent.”

“So, what happened in Paraguay?” asked Tony.

Gibbs sat on the couch and wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulder. “We survived. Just like last night when I pulled your sorry ass back up to the trail. We survived.”

Tony closed his eyes. “If you’re not going to tell me, I’m just going to have to let my imagination fill in the blanks. I have a pretty wild imagination, Slim Tim.”

Gibbs pulled Tony close and kissed his temple. “I was the Tambour to his Whisper.”

“So you comforted and protected him. I’d expect no less,” said Tony.

“And I will comfort and protect you. Besides, you know I already told you what happened.”

Tim grabbed a throw pillow from the couch and hit Tony in the head with it.

Tony smiled and leaned into Gibbs. He closed his eyes and napped against Gibbs’ shoulder while Tim sat in a chair across the room and read a mystery. Later in the evening, Gibbs lit the gas heaters, and went to his bedroom for a minute before returning to the living room area. 

“Tim, have you seen my hoodie? The red one?”

Tim finished the paragraph he was on, then looked up. A moment later he was blushing. “Oh yeah. It was chilly last night, so I borrowed it. I didn’t think you’d mind. I’ll get it.”

While Tim disappeared into his bedroom, Tony smiled and whispered, “I’ll bet it was because he missed you; made him feel close to you.”

Gibbs rolled his eyes, and took the hoodie when Tim returned. After he pulled it over his head, he went back to sit with Tony on the sofa.

“Are you going to let me share the bed now?” asked Tony.

“You think we’re ready for that?” Gibbs countered.

“I think it would be easier on my ribs. The couch is okay, but might be tough to roll over without falling off the edge.”

“I hope you’re not expecting me to toss you a rope in the middle of the night.”

“Once was enough. I’d like to sleep in the bed though, if you don’t mind.”

“I don’t mind,” Gibbs confessed.

Gibbs helped Tony into the bedroom, out of his clothing, into a pair of boxers, and into bed. After turning off the light, he slipped into the other side of the bed, and kissed Tony good night.

Tony closed his eyes and fell asleep with a satisfied smile on his lips.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

The next morning, Gibbs woke Tony up early.

“It’s still dark out,” Tony complained, not quite awake yet.

“You can sleep in the car.”

“What car?” Tony asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

Gibbs helped him get out of bed. “Do you need help in the shower?”

Tony smiled and ran his hands across Gibbs’ chest. “Okay. But where are we going?”

“To get your ribs x-rayed.”

Tony’s hand immediately went to his ribs. “Oh, that. Okay.”

Gibbs stripped them both down and pushed Tony into the shower first. 

“There’s barely room for one,” Tony complained. 

“Then I’ll stand outside and help you soap up, and shampoo your hair.”

“And I can spin like a rotisserie chicken.”

Quite a bit of water splashed outside the shower stall, but Gibbs wiped it up with a few of the extra towels. “I’ll send Tim to restock the towels while we’re in town.”

Tony slept during the long drive. They found the emergency room relatively quiet so early in the morning. It was a short wait before a doctor was available to look at Tony. After they took his vitals and prepped him, they took him for x-rays. Within two hours of their arrival, the doctor released Tony with a prescription for stronger pain medication and a warning not to drive while he took the pills.

“I’ve got the wheel,” Gibbs said as Tony was signing himself out.

They dropped off the prescription at a pharmacy and found a small café open for breakfast. Gibbs ordered black coffee. 

Tony looked out the window at the view of the mountains. “It’s pretty out here.”

“Are you looking to be reassigned?” asked Gibbs as he stared into his coffee.

“What? No. I just got back to DC. I’m sure Vance will work with me on a local assignment.”

“How did you sleep last night?”

“It was okay. Thanks for sharing the bed. I think the sofa would have been tough to manage.”

“It does fold out into a bed. You didn’t have to just sleep on it the way it was during the day.”

“I know. It seemed easier. But the bed is a lot more comfortable. I appreciate it. How did you sleep?”

“Okay. I had something on my mind.”

“What’s that?”

Reaching across the table, Gibbs took Tony’s hand into his own. “We’ve known each other for years. Longer than many people.”

“That is true.”

“We’ve seen each other through good times and bad. We’ve spent long hours and nights together on stakeouts.”

“What’s your point?”

“Do you have any doubts?”

“About what?” Tony asked as their meals were delivered.

Gibbs smiled at the server and waited until she walked away to continue. “About us being together. As a couple.”

“No. We know each other, like you said. This feels right.”

“I’d like to make this a permanent arrangement.”

“So you are asking me to move in long-term?”

“Yeah.” After a long pause, Gibbs gave Tony’s hand a squeeze and said, “I was thinking, we could get married; make it official.”

Tony nearly choked on his orange juice. “Didn’t you recently tell me you were done with the whole marriage thing?”

“Things change. I’ve given this a lot of thought. I think you are the one. Nobody knows me better. Nobody understands me like you do. You’re not a bad kisser, either.”

“And I’m super sexy on top of all that,” Tony reminded him.

Gibbs smiled. “That, too. I asked Stan about it. He said we can go to the county clerk’s office for a license. He thought it was around thirty dollars and good for a month.”

“We’re leaving at the end of the week.”

“That’s why I thought we could get married by the pastor at the ranch.”

“Wow. Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life,” Gibbs said as he picked up a piece of bacon. “If you’re not sure, I’ll understand.”

Tony looked deeply into Gibbs’ blue eyes. “Yeah. Let’s do it.”

Gibbs checked his watch. “Okay, we’ll go to the county clerks next and should just have time to stop by a jewelry store to pick up a couple rings before your prescription is ready.”

“Have plans for the afternoon?”

“I promised to have the van back to the ranch so Henry can do the airport run. That’s why we had to leave so damn early.”

Tony yawned. “I’m still tired.”

“You slept on the drive in,” Gibbs reminded him.

“Yep, and I’ll probably sleep on the way back.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Gibbs woke Tony up early the next morning. “Dr. Kroger said he’ll release us at the end of the week. I thought it would be nice to take that scenic ride we talked about.”

Tony indicated his taped ribs. “One little problem.”

“I got you covered. Don’t worry about it.”

“Just saying, it hurts me more than it hurts you.”

“Bring along your pain pills. I got clearance from your doctor. Sort of.”

“Sort of?” Tony asked.

“He said you can do what you want as long as you don’t lift anything more than ten pounds and aren’t feeling any pain. He suggested that you not do much bending and lifting, so I’ll catch, groom and saddle your horse for you.”

“If I start hurting, we turn around. Right?”

“Of course. Tim, why don’t you come with us?”

“Three’s a crowd. Besides, I’m not much of an equestrian.”

“Dr. Kroger will be joining us, and with Tony’s ribs, we’re not going to be doing anything too jarring. I’d like you to come along.”

“Okay,” Tim agreed.

After they dressed for the ride, they all made a stop at the dining hall for breakfast, where they found Dr. Kroger waiting for them.

Once they were at the stables, Gibbs caught Tambour, Whisper, Salsa and Banjo. After putting Tim and Stan to work brushing the horses, he went into the office and returned with a vest and handed it to Tony.

“What is this? A life preserver?” Tony asked as he eyed the navy blue vest.

“It’s a safety vest. Some of the guys wear them when they ride broncos or green-broke horses.”

Tony took the vest and ran his hands over it, feeling how sturdy it was. “Wow, it’s like the reinforced vests and jackets that motorcycle riders wear.”

“I talked to Billy. He said that will hold your ribs in place. Doctor Weston said you could ride as long you wore it. We can take it easy if you want, just walk. We can try faster paces if you feel up to it.”

“Yeah, okay. Sounds good. I know you wanted to ride Whisper out again before we left.”

“You can ride Tambour.”

“He was definitely a smoother ride than Peso,” said Tony.

The pair returned to where Tim and Stan had finished brushing the horses. Gibbs showed them which saddles and bridles to bring out while he cleaned all the horses’ hooves. 

Tony strapped on the safety vest, then helped by bringing out the saddle pads.

Tim settled the pads onto the horses’ backs, and lifted up the saddles, while Gibbs bridled the horses then cinched all the saddles in place. Stan packed the water bottles and granola bars into saddlebags before Gibbs strapped them onto the saddles.

Gibbs led Tambour over to a mounting block and helped Tony get mounted first, then he held Banjo and Salsa while Tim and Stan mounted up. With the others ready to hit the trail, Gibbs swung himself into Whisper’s saddle and reined the gray horse toward the trailhead.

The group rode for a couple hours over a few fields then up a ridge trail and a short distance up a mountain. Gibbs found an especially scenic view to stop for a meal break. He helped everyone dismount and tied each horse to a tree. They’d brought a couple blankets to sit on. Gibbs and Tony shared one while Stan and Tim shared the other. With the sun still rising, the day was comfortably warm.

“I envy you, Doc,” Tony said. “You have work you enjoy, and this place is so amazing.”

Stan smiled. “You wouldn’t like it so well in the winter when there is two feet of snow on the ground. Many of these trails become impassable during the winter months. Most people don’t want to leave their cabins.”

“That would be a bit of a drag. But I bet it’s still a magical place.”

“If you don’t mind the cold and snow.”

“I did see they had a sleigh. I’ll bet that’s fun.”

“As long as you dress warmly enough.”

Gibbs took hold of Tony’s hand. “We wanted to ask the two of you to do us a favor.”

Dr. Kroger smiled. “I saw you guys went into town.”

“Oh yeah,” said Tim. “What did the doctor say?”

Pressing his hand to indicate his cracked ribs, Tony said, “The x-rays do show three cracked ribs. He said there isn’t anything to do beyond taking pain pills, taping the ribs and refraining from anything too physical. He recommended the safety vest if I insist on riding. And I can’t lift more than ten pounds for a few weeks.”

“But you’ll be fine, eventually?”

“He said I should give it about six weeks.”

“Back to the favor,” Gibbs said. “Tony and I picked up a couple rings and a marriage license in town today.”

“You did what?” asked Tim.

“We both felt committing to each other was the right thing to do,” Gibbs explained. “So why wait? We’ve known each other for over fifteen years. We’re both sure this is the right thing to do.”

“We talked to the ranch’s pastor,” added Tony. “He said he would perform a ceremony here at the ranch if we wanted him to.”

Gibbs continued, “We’d like the two of you to join us as witnesses. We thought we’d find a nice place to ride to, with mountains in the background and wildflowers all around us.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” said Stan.

Tim smiled at them as he responded, “Me either.”


	10. A Song From The Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Gibbs, Tony and Tim return to DC, the team learns about Tony and Gibbs’ relationship, and Tony settles into Gibbs’ house._

Through the rest of their week at the ranch, Gibbs continued working with Whisper. Tony would often stand nearby watching, always wearing the protective vest when he was around the horses. The pair still went on daily trail rides, with Tony riding Tambour and Gibbs on Whisper. They mostly walked, but found Tony could handle cantering across open fields without feeling any pain.

“Do you think they’d let me take the vest on the airplane?” Tony asked.

“I don’t know. Apparently, it costs a few hundred dollars.”

“Really?”

“I’d say that’s a small price to pay to keep from breaking your ribs or spine.”

“Very true. It sure helps though.”

“I can tell. I’m surprised you don’t sleep in it.”

“Hmmm, hadn’t thought about it. It makes it a little difficult to breathe, like I can’t take a really deep breath. However, I also don’t feel any pain from my ribs.”

“Maybe it would be too cumbersome to sleep in.”

They often packed sandwiches and had lunch on the trail. They’d found several spots with beautiful views and Gibbs had become an expert at packing lunches for the trail. Tim often joined them. On some days, Stan would go along, too, if his schedule was clear.

On warm sunny days, Tony would often lie down on the picnic blanket after their meal, taking a nap while Tim and Gibbs relaxed in the sunshine.

“It’s nice up here,” said Tim. “But I’m ready to go back.”

“I’m sure Delilah is more than ready to have you come home.”

“The team has been great, really. Ellie, Abby, Breena and Jimmy have all been helping her. They call her and make sure the apartment gets cleaned, and that she gets to all of her appointments. We’re blessed with wonderful, caring friends.”

“Who sometimes don’t know when to leave,” Gibbs said with a chuckle.

“I don’t really mind. I was just happy to be home and to see Delilah again.”

“Especially after how we spent our summer.”

Tim picked at blades of grass, and watched the wildflowers waver in the breeze. “I wouldn’t have survived without you.”

“Sure you would have. You were meant to survive.”

“So were you. I just meant, if you had died, if they had killed you, that would have broken me. I don’t know how I would have coped.”

“You would have gone on.”

Tim shook his head. “I would have fallen into a deep depression and stopped eating. I’m not as strong as you. I was always ready to give up and you fought them every step of the way. Even beaten and starved, you never gave up the fight.”

“I guess it’s something I learned in the Marines. Look, one thing I’ve learned from Dr. Kroger is that we need to move on. We survived. We came home. We are getting healthier by the day.”

Tim splayed his hand and felt his abdomen. “I’ve definitely put on a few pounds here.”

“You needed it.”

“You, too. I’m really glad this brought you and Tony together.”

Gibbs smiled and shook his head. “I never even realized I was pushing him away. I knew he deserved to run his own team. He earned it years ago.”

“What’s going to happen now? Do you think Vance will let him move back to DC?”

“I don’t know. He’ll have to work it out with the director. Tony put his things into storage when he went to Spain. He said when Vance brought him back, he’d already assigned another agent to take over the Rota team.”

“So, he gave up his team to come rescue us?”

“I don’t think Vance gave him an option.”

“I would have come anyway, if I knew,” Tony said, sitting up slowly. “He didn’t tell me until I got to DC, but once I knew, he couldn’t have stopped me from searching for you. I wasn’t going to stop until I found you both.”

“We were happy to see you. Surprised, but there was no one I would have rather seen on that rescue chopper,” said Gibbs.

Tony moved over to where Tim and Gibbs were sitting, and kissed Gibbs. “I was thrilled to find you both alive. Nick and I made a pact not to give up, or leave Paraguay, until we found you, or found out what happened to you. But finding you both alive? My heart was racing like you wouldn’t believe. I wanted to hug you both and never let you go.”

Gibbs twined his fingers with Tony’s. “If nothing else, it made me realize my feelings for you, and gave me the courage to act.”

“Once you knew I was into guys,” Tony said as he threaded his fingers through Gibbs’ hair. “I still haven’t decided if I like it long or not. But I am glad you shaved.”

Tim stroked his beard. “I kind of like this. I always wanted to grow a beard, but never had the patience before. I didn’t have a choice when we were held captive.”

“Well, you both look much better than when we first arrived here.”

Gibbs smiled and chuckled. “You look a little worse for wear. Now we have to explain to Vance how you survived a couple months in Paraguay unscathed, only to get injured at our therapy retreat.”

“I know. This is going to keep me out of the field for a while. Do you think Vance will let me back on Team Gibbs?”

“Not a chance,” said Gibbs.

“Why not?”

Gibbs planted a kiss on Tony’s cheek. “You’re far too much of a distraction. I’m sure he can find a spot for you in DC.”

“I miss working with you. Both of you.”

“You deserve to lead your own team. You’ve earned it.”

“If not, I could always go talk to Fornell. I’m certain there must be a couple openings at the FBI.”

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Gibbs asked. “Fornell?”

“I promise to never run off with him.”

“I’ll hold you to that.”

“Are you sure you guys don’t want to wait to get married until you get back to DC?” asked Tim. “That way everyone could be involved.”

Gibbs shook his head. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. It feels so right. I just want to go for it.”

“Besides,” said Tony, “we already have the rings and the license. And look how stressed out you and Delilah were planning a big wedding.”

“That’s true. I can’t believe you found the time to get the license and rings. When exactly did that happen?”

“The day Gibbs took me to town to have my ribs x-rayed, we stopped off at the county clerk’s office and a local jeweler while waiting for my prescription to be filled, so we’re all set.”

Gibbs untangled himself from Tony and stood up. “It’s less complicated out here. I thought we could get married Friday morning. I talked to Pastor Adams. He’s willing to ride up here, to wherever we decided to have the ceremony.”

“And Dr. Stan will join us,” added Tony.

“Brent promised to come along to watch after the horses and snap a few pictures on his camera. It’s digital so he can give us a flash drive we can take home with us.”

“And we can celebrate with their Friday night barbeque.”

Gibbs smiled broadly. “It will be perfect.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Gibbs and Tony continued sharing the bed for the remainder of their stay, but didn’t do more than kissing, and occasional touching. They were both protective of Tony’s ribs, which Gibbs continued to re-tape as needed.

On Friday morning, they walked to the dining hall for breakfast, joined by Tim, Stan, Brent and Paul Adams, the pastor.

After breakfast, Gibbs helped Tony shower again. They had worked on their technique, aiming for less water to wind up outside of the small shower. Gibbs has taken to placing three towels on the floor before they even started, and that went a long way to keep the water from running across the floor. Gibbs showered after Tony, then helped Tony get dressed.

Although they had discussed more formal attire, in the end, they decided to wear blue jeans and western style shirts loaned to them by a couple of the wranglers. 

The wranglers had teamed up to groom and saddle Tambour, Whisper, and enough other horses for the group to take on their ride. Gibbs led the way to a scenic spot he had chosen. Much to their surprise, a handful of the wranglers decided to ride along with them. Many had come to know and admire Tony and Gibbs over their time at the ranch.

Tony had worn the protective vest over a T-shirt for the ride, but once they dismounted, he removed the vest and put on the borrowed dress shirt.

Brent snapped a few shots, insisting on taking some with Tambour and Whisper included. For others, he had Tony and Gibbs pose looking out over the mountains and for a few more shots he posed them sitting or standing in a field of wildflowers.

A couple of the wranglers, Pete and Mike, had brought guitars and were happy to play some background music for the occasion. Another wrangler, Milo, recorded the ceremony on his digital camera despite Gibbs saying it wasn’t necessary.

Tim and Stan stood beside Tony and Gibbs, serving as the best men, with Tim holding onto the matching white tungsten bands until the pastor asked for them. Within a few minutes, the ceremony was finished. They had placed wedding bands on each other’s ring fingers, and wrapped up the ceremony with a kiss.

“I’ll bet Vance would shit if I demanded to change my name to Tony Gibbs.”

Gibbs chuckled. “I’m sure he’d say one Gibbs at NCIS is plenty.” 

“Maybe I’ll just use it as a middle initial. Like, I could go by Tony G. That has a nice ring to it. Tony G. DiNozzo.”

Gibbs laughed. “I know you hate having ADD as your initials.”

Tony sighed and rolled his eyes.

After the ceremony, Stan handed Gibbs an envelope. “We, all of us at the ranch, wanted to do something special for the two of you, so several of us tossed in a few dollars. We got you one night, tonight, at a place down the road. We thought you should have a little more privacy for your wedding night.”

“It’s really not necessary,” said Gibbs.

Tony reached out and grabbed the envelope, “But we greatly appreciate it. That’s very generous of you all. Thank you.” He opened the envelope to find directions and a gift certificate.”

“It’s already booked, so they’re expecting you.”

“You can borrow a car, or take the horses if you want,” Brent offered. “There’s a trail that goes that way, it’s only about six miles. They have a paddock right outside the private cabin we booked for you.”

“That sounds perfect,” said Gibbs.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

After the lively barbeque celebration, Tony and Gibbs packed a few things into their go bags and strapped them to the back of the saddles on Whisper and Tambour. It was still daylight when they left, but they took the lights that clipped onto the saddles along with a couple other flashlights just in case it got dark before they arrived at the cabin.

Brent rode along the first part of the trail with them, making sure they were headed down the correct path. It took them less than two hours to get to the rental property. Despite finding a hitching rail outside the office, Tony waited with the horses while Gibbs checked in and obtained the key and directions to their cabin. 

“It’s about a ten-minute ride down that gravel road,” he said.

“Definitely private,” said Tony.

“It’s described as perfect for honeymooners, but I think all of their cabins are marketed to honeymooners.”

“I’ll be happy if they have a shower larger than a phone booth.”

Ten minutes later, they arrived at the cabin. They used the lead lines to tie the horses to the hitching rail out front. Gibbs gave the paddock a once over. It already had a bale of hay and a couple buckets of fresh water. 

The key turned easily in the lock. Gibbs smiled as he entered a bright cabin decorated in florals. “A bit girly, but it looks comfortable.”

There was a kitchenette with a coffee maker, and a few choices of coffee blends. They also found a bottle of champagne on ice and a tray of fresh strawberries dipped in chocolate. 

Tony’s eyes grew wide when he saw the bathroom, which not only had a jetted tub big enough for two, but also had a separate shower, large enough for two, with three showerheads. “This is amazing,” he said.

“Don’t forget to check out the back porch,” said Gibbs.

Tony found a hot tub on the back deck and tested the water. “It’s warm and ready to go. It’s a shame we don’t have suits.”

“Who needs a suit?” asked Gibbs. “Fire it up. I’m going to unsaddle the horses and put them in the pen.”

“Need some help?”

“No. Why don’t you take the strawberries and champagne out there? I’ll join you in a few minutes. It faces west so we should get to see some sunset colors at least.”

“I’ll be waiting for you.”

Gibbs found that there was a side entrance to the cabin, with a mudroom that had saddle and bridle racks, along with a bucket of brushes and a few more bales of hay. After he unsaddled the horses, he released them both into the paddock, and put the tack away before joining Tony on the back porch.

The tape they used on Tony’s ribs was waterproof, so he left it on as he slipped into the tub. Gibbs shed his clothes in the bedroom and joined Tony out back. Before climbing into the hot tub, he opened the champagne and poured two glasses, handing one to Tony and setting the other on the broad edge of the tub.

“I hate to tell you this, Boss, but one of their hot tub rules is no alcohol in the hot tub.”

Gibbs glanced through the printed, laminated sheet and waved it off. “I think that’s more of a suggestion. It’s our honeymoon. We’ll just make sure we don’t get drowsy. You watch out for me and I’ll watch out for you.”

While Gibbs slipped into the bubbling water, Tony admired the ring on his own finger. “Who would have thought?”

“You’re not having second thoughts, are you?”

“No, of course not. I hadn’t thought much about getting married after college. I was always focused on my career.”

Gibbs shook his head. “I should have given you more time. Are you sure you don’t want to find a woman and have kids?”

Tony laughed until his sides hurt. “I don’t think so. Can you imagine me with a wife and a houseful of toddlers? That’s more Tim’s style than mine. I’m happy with my choice. I will never regret committing to you. I can’t imagine finding anyone else that would be a better match for me.”

“I’m glad,” Gibbs said as he wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulder as the pair settled back and watched the sun slip beneath the horizon.

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

The next morning, they made sure to get dressed before the chef arrived to cook them breakfast. Gibbs brewed a strong pot of coffee and drank it outside, on the deck. Tony grabbed a glass of orange juice and sat beside him.

“This is all so amazing,” said Tony. “It’s a shame we didn’t have this cabin for our entire stay.”

“I doubt we could afford it.”

The chef made them omelets, French toast, bacon, potatoes O’Brien, and eggs. He was there and gone within an hour.

After breakfast, they shared a shower then packed their bags. Tony watched as Gibbs groomed and saddled the horses for their ride back to the ranch.

“I think we should tell Vance together,” suggested Tony.

“Whatever you want.”

Two hours later, they were back at the ranch.

The next morning, they took one last ride. Gibbs woke Tony up early so they could ride out and watch the sunrise. When they returned to the stables, they spent a few minutes saying their goodbyes to the horses and wranglers.

After breakfast, they packed their bags, checked out and waited in the lobby for the van to take them back to the airport. Dr. Kroger stopped by to say farewell and wish them well before they left.

It was late in the evening when they arrived back in DC.

“You guys look great,” said Nick.

“You didn’t have to pick us up,” said Gibbs as he placed his and Tony’s bags in the trunk.

“I wanted to see you guys. Believe it or not, I missed you all. It’s been so quiet at the office without you. So you’re all cleared for duty, right?”

Gibbs sighed. “I’m sure there are tests we have to pass and more paperwork to fill out.”

“Have to make it all official. Well, you both certainly look better. Tony, you look a little pale. Are you okay? What’s up with that funky vest?”

“Nothing much. I cracked some ribs.”

“Oh, man. Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah. I just need to get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”

“Where are you staying?”

“You can drop me off at Gibbs’ house.”

“That works for me. One less stop,” said Nick as he rounded the car and got into the driver’s seat. 

He dropped Tim off first, then drove Tony and Gibbs across town to Gibbs’ house.

“I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.”

“Thanks for the ride, Torres,” said Tony.

“De nada.”

Gibbs grabbed both bags and led the way up the steps to the front door. As soon as they were inside, he dropped the bags and took a seat on the couch.

“We should have had him stop somewhere for dinner,” said Tony.

“I didn’t want to keep Torres out any later than necessary.”

“I don’t think he would have minded.”

Gibbs tossed the phone to Tony. “Just call for a pizza.”

“That sounds good.” 

Thirty minutes later, they were enjoying a hot pizza with a couple cold beers.

“We’re going to have to go to the store tomorrow,” said Gibbs.

Tony rolled his eyes and groaned. “I can’t believe we have to go to the office tomorrow. He could have given us a few days off.”

“I guess he figures Tim and I have had enough time off.”

“Torres and I worked every damn day looking for you. I could sure use a break.”

“Three cracked ribs wasn’t enough?”

“I have to remember to ship this vest back to the ranch.”

“It was nice of Grace to vouch for you.”

After they finished the pizza and beer, they watched _A Fish Called Wanda_ before calling it a night. Tony was leaning against Gibbs, but straightened up before rising to his feet and stretching his arms.

“I don’t think we’re both going to fit on the couch.”

“No need. I do have a bed upstairs.”

“That you never use.”

Gibbs pulled Tony into a hug and kissed him. “Now I have a reason to use it. Go on,” he said as he turned off the television and grabbed their bags.

When he reached the bedroom, Tony flipped on the light. “Boss, the bed isn’t made.”

“Very observant, Agent DiNozzo.”

“What happened to Tony? You’re not going to call me Agent DiNozzo at home, are you?”

“Only if you insist on calling me _Boss_.”

“Fair enough, Jethro.”

Gibbs set their bags down, then retrieved bedding from the linen closet in the hallway. Tony did his best to help make the bed with the soft blue sheets Gibbs handed him. The comforter was two-tone, navy on one side and a medium blue on the other. Gibbs also put the pillows into blue pillowcases. 

They both squeezed into the bathroom to brush their teeth before climbing into bed.

“I could get used to this,” said Tony.

“Good. Get some sleep.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

The next morning, Tony dressed in a suit and tie, with Gibbs’ help, and encouraged Gibbs to do the same. “It’ll put Vance in a better mood,” he insisted.

Gibbs was glad when his truck started.

“Don’t be too surprised. The team came over to check on your house and toss the bad food. I’ll bet someone started your truck every week and maybe even drove it a little bit.”

Gibbs didn’t reply, but did adjust the seat and mirrors.

As soon as they entered the NCIS building, several people approached saying how good it was to have them back. Up in the bullpen, they stopped off at Gibbs’ desk first, and found that Ellie was already busy at work.

Looking up, she smiled and came around her desk to give them both hugs. “I’m so glad to see you guys back. How was it?”

“It was nice. Almost a shame to have to come home,” said Tony. “I’m going to miss the views and the fresh air.”

“And the horses,” Gibbs added.

“Sounds like paradise,” said Ellie. “But I’m glad they cleared you to come home. I had no idea how much paperwork you actually do, Gibbs.”

“Yeah, well, it is part of the job.”

“There’s so much. And we haven’t even done many cases since you and Tim were gone. Much of the time we were just working on cold cases. But there are so many reports to do.”

“I appreciate you keeping up on it.”

Within a couple minutes, they spotted Vance looking over the railing at them. As soon as they made eye contact, he waved them upstairs and toward his office.

“I guess we better get this over with,” said Tony as he started toward the staircase.

Gibbs was two paces behind him as they entered Vance’s office. The director held a file folder up, then dropped it on the table. “I’m glad to see you’re cleared by the doctor at the retreat, but I still need you to go see Dr. Confalone. I need you and Tim cleared by someone accredited by the Navy.”

“That won’t be a problem,” Gibbs said as he took a seat at the table. 

“Tell me, Gibbs. How do you feel?”

“I’m good, Leon. Ready to go back to work.”

Vance pushed a schedule over to him. “I had my assistant schedule you and Tim for these tests and meetings today. The sooner you pass everything, the sooner we can get you back in the field.”

Gibbs picked up the schedule and scanned over it. “No problem. I’m sure we’ll both pass with flying colors.”

“I’m counting on it. You’re dismissed. Agent DiNozzo, we need to talk about your future. Please stay.”

“Yes, sir,” said Tony.

Gibbs pulled an envelope out of his pocket and handed it to Vance. “We thought you should know.”

“What is this? A resignation?”

“No, not at all. Tony and I…”

“Got married?” Vance asked as he unfolded and scanned the document. “Are you serious?”

Tony smiled and displayed the band on his finger. “The doctor at the retreat was really amazing. He uncovered all sorts of feelings Gibbs and Tim had.”

“I realized how much I cared for Tony and how miserable I was without him. There was no other choice, really,” said Gibbs.

Vance did not appear happy. “I’m sure you had another option or two other than getting married.” 

Gibbs’ eyes met the director’s and he stood firm. “It’s not for you to judge. I felt that as the current director, you had the right to know.”

“Message received. Track down McGee and get your field approvals back.”

“Yes, sir,” Gibbs replied as he headed toward the door.

Once he left, Vance shook his head. “I guess this means you want to stick around DC now?”

“That would be ideal.”

“Did you guys even give this matter any serious thought? When did you decide to get married? Why didn’t you wait until you were back in DC?”

“Director, Gibbs and I worked together closely for fifteen years, and have known each other even longer. We discussed it thoroughly and realized how right we are for each other. Nobody knows Gibbs as well as I do, and vice versa. We both felt so sure about it that we didn’t see the need to wait until we got back. We wanted a small, uncomplicated ceremony and that’s exactly what we had.”

“I hope it works out for you.”

“Thank you. I’ll be going down to HR to update all my records.”

Vance glared at him as he poured a glass of water. “You’re not changing your last name to Gibbs, are you?”

“I thought about it, but no. I just have to update my address and marital status.”

“Do you remember Special Agent Grant Sweeney?”

“Yeah, I think so. He leads a team out of the Pentagon, right?”

“That’s him. He is retiring at the end of the month. Would you be interested in leading his team?”

“Yes, that would be perfect! Thank you, sir.”

“Get over to the Pentagon and sit in with him until he retires. I’ll let him know to expect you. Congratulations, Agent DiNozzo.”

“I won’t let you down.” 

“I know you won’t. But I actually meant on your marital status.”

Tony grinned as he stood up. “I appreciate that.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Tony bounded down the staircase and waved to Nick who had just stepped off the elevator. He glanced at Gibbs’ desk, then asked, “Hey Bishop, do you know where Gibbs is?”

Ellie looked over at the empty desk. “Maybe he went for coffee?”

Pulling out his phone, he smiled. Gibbs was still on his speed dial, of course. It picked up after one ring. “Hey Boss, I was wondering if I could take the team’s sedan for the day.”

_“What for?”_

“Vance wants me to work out of the Pentagon today. I sold my car when I left the States and drove in with you today. I need a set of wheels.”

_“Take my truck. The keys are in my desk.”_

“Thanks, Boss. I promise to pick you up on my way home.”

_“Don’t bother. Abby is insisting on the team taking us out to celebrate.”_

“You told her?” Tony asked.

_“I didn’t really need to. She saw the ring.”_

Tony lifted his hand to admire the ring on his finger. “Okay, just call me and tell me where. I’ll try not to have to work too late.”

“Tony? Something you want to tell us?” Ellie asked.

Tony smirked and shook his head. “Don’t even act like Abby didn’t call you the moment Gibbs left her lab.”

Ellie came around her desk and hugged him tightly. “I’m so happy for you guys and I’m so glad you’re back in DC. I missed you. Director Vance is reassigning you to DC, right?”

“Yeah, over at the Pentagon. Close, but not too close.”

Torres crossed the aisle to shake his hand. “I saw the rings last night. Just so you know you weren’t pulling anything over on me.”

“Why didn’t you say something last night?”

“Because, it’s a major thing and I knew you guys would tell us when you were ready.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Sweeney introduced Tony to his team and gave him the basics, then filled him in on their open cases. “I know you were Gibbs’ senior field agent for long enough to know you must be one of the best. You’re not stepping on any toes if you see something we missed.”

“Sometimes a pair of fresh eyes is just the thing you need to close a case,” Tony replied as he picked up a file.

He finished reading the current stack of case files by mid-afternoon. Sweeney turned him loose and told him to get a good night’s sleep. “I know traveling always takes it out of me. Go home and rest up. We have a field call and you’re not cleared for field duty. No sense in you sitting here alone.”

Tony didn’t need to be told more than once. “Thanks, I’ll see you guys in the morning,” he said as he grabbed his jacket and headed for the exit.

As he walked across the lot to the truck, he tried calling Gibbs’ cell phone, but got voicemail. “Hey, Boss. Jethro. Sweeney cut me loose a bit early, so I’m going to head home first. I’ll call Abby for the details and will see you later. Love you.”

He grinned like a little kid, then called Abby. “Hey Abs, what time is dinner.”

_“I am so happy for you guys. You’re so perfect for each other.”_

“Gibbs said you insisted on a celebratory dinner. I just need to know when and where we’re all meeting.”

_”I have a bone to pick with you, mister.”_

“What did I do?”

_”Oh no, it’s what you didn’t do. You didn’t come by to say hello, or give me a hug. Nothing. You owe me. Get your butt over here.”_

“Abby, it’s been a long day.”

_“When I get a hug, you get the address and the time.”_

“I was hoping to have time to squeeze in a nap.”

_“Then you better hurry up,”_ she said before disconnecting the call.

Tony tapped the cell phone against his forehead, then got into the truck and headed back to NCIS headquarters.

Abby still had a welcome sign draped across her lab, with his name along with Gibbs and Tim’s. The moment she saw him, she ran across the lab and embraced him tightly.

“Abby, cracked ribs.”

She let go and backed away quickly. “Really?”

“Yes, I had to wear a protective vest on the flight home, but didn’t think I needed to wear it to work.”

“You should. If you had to handle a bad guy, you should have it.”

“I’m not cleared for field duty,” Tony explained.

“Why not? You weren’t held captive all summer.”

“Because I have cracked ribs. I need a doctor’s release.”

“Got it. Dinner is at seven at Eros. Isn’t that a cool name for a restaurant? I thought it was perfect for celebrating their return and your marriage. I can’t believe you guys got married!”

“We have pictures and video.” Pulling out his cell phone, he flipped through the photos and showed her a couple. “One guy took a bunch of pictures with a real camera and put those on a flash drive for us, but I asked one of the other wranglers to take a couple with my cell so I could always have them with me.”

“I love those. You had horses at your wedding?”

“Very special horses. That one is Tambour, and the other one is Whisper. They were very cool horses. They’re rescues that Gibbs worked with over the summer. Oddly enough, they were a lot like Gibbs and Tim personality-wise.”

“How so?”

“Tambour was all handsome, bold and protective. Whisper needed some time to learn to trust people again. He’d been beaten and starved just like Gibbs and McGee were. Tambour was always trying to protect him, like Gibbs was protective of Tim.” 

“Why did you guys get married out there instead of coming home first?”

“It was Gibbs’ idea. He wanted something small and simple.”

“We could have done small and simple here,” insisted Abby.

“No. It would have turned into something huge and complicated.” Tony took her hand into his own and looked her in the eye. “I went over the edge of a mountain. Gibbs threw me a rope. I almost pulled him over the side with me. If I hadn’t found a handhold, I would have died. It was an eighty-foot drop.”

“Oh my God!”

“If Gibbs didn’t get the rope close enough for me to grab, I would have died. I knew he couldn’t hold me and I was pulling him to the edge, so I got out my knife and was about to cut the rope, when he came up with a plan and pulled me up.”

“Oh Tony,” she said as she rested her head against his shoulder, and gently wrapped her arms around her neck. “I would have just died if he didn’t save you.”

“I didn’t want to pull him over with me. Anyway, I think something clicked for him. He admitted that he loved me.”

“Aww. He realized that he didn’t want to spend another day without you. That’s so sweet.”

“I guess.”

“And you knew you loved him, too.”

“I think I have for years. I never knew he felt the same way. When he told me he loved me, Abby, it was just magical. It clicked for me, too. I knew it was meant to be. If he was ready, I didn’t see any reason to push it off.”

Abby grabbed her phone and texted him an address. “That’s the restaurant. Be there at seven sharp.”

“I will. I promise.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

It was a beautiful, sunny day. Although Tony thought about stopping by a park for a while, he decided he’d be better off going home to rest. Since he was near his storage unit, he decided he might as well bring some of his things back to Gibbs’ place. He tested the boxes and made sure the ones he was grabbing were fairly light, even though he still felt a twinge of pain as he moved the larger ones. He knew Gibbs would chastise him for trying to do too much.

Once he got to the house he found he wasn’t tired. He carried in a box of DVDs, then another of clothing. He’d also brought in his guitar and took it out of the case as he sat on the sofa. 

He spent a couple minutes tuning the guitar then strummed through a couple familiar songs before deciding to play a tune that had been stuck in his head. By the time Gibbs walked through the door, Tony had a song written down on a pad of paper, including both the melody and lyrics.

“Nice tune,” Gibbs said as he placed a kiss on Tony’s forehead. 

“I just wrote it. It’s about the storm that rolled in and spooked the horses and how Whisper got scared and ran off and we had to track him down. It’s called _Whisper in the Wind_. It’s sort of a love story about you saving my life and us realizing that we love each other.”

“Play it. I’d love to hear it.”

Tony played his song through, then looked at Gibbs to see his reaction.

“I love it. We better get ready though. We have to be at the restaurant in an hour.”

“It’s good to be home,” said Tony.

“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to. Are you too tired?”

“Are you kidding? Abby already yelled at me for not stopping in to say hello at the office earlier. There’s no way I’m going to miss this dinner. I would never hear the end of it.”

“That is true.”

NCIS *** REVERSE BANG *** NCIS 

Fifty minutes later, they arrived at the restaurant. Gibbs parked the truck and walked beside Tony to the door. Abby had reserved a separate banquet room for the festivities.

There was a fireplace at one end of the room, and two servers taking care of the group. Tim and Delilah were there, as were Ducky, Vance, Ellie, Torres, Abby, Reeves, Jimmy and Breena. 

The group spent over two hours at the restaurant, enjoying a full meal including salad and dessert, and sharing several toasts as they celebrated Gibbs and Tim returning to the office, Tony's return to DC and Gibbs and Tony’s marriage.

Before the group dispersed, Vance told them they could all come in as late as ten am the next morning. 

Although they had both drank during dinner, Tony was obviously feeling the alcohol more acutely. Gibbs held onto Tony’s arm and steered him to the truck, then got him settled in the passenger seat and fastened the seatbelt around him.

He drove home slowly, then helped Tony to the door once they arrived at the house.

“I think I’m drunk,” Tony said as they entered the house.

Gibbs closed the door and locked it behind him.

“Gibbs doesn’t lock his door,” Tony mumbled. “Who are you?”

Wrapping his arms around Tony, Gibbs swayed him gently and kissed him. “Your husband. There are new house rules now that I’m married to you. Your stuff is worth more than mine. I didn’t want to explain to my insurance guy if someone walked off with everything.”

“I thought you were afraid someone might walk in and find us in a compromising position.”

Gibbs hugged him gently. “That, too. Hey, since we don’t have to go into work until late, why don’t you sing me your song again?”

“Sure, then tomorrow, you get to write a love song for me.” Tony picked up his guitar, and checked the tuning before strumming out his song.

“ _Whisper in the Wind_ , I love it.”

Setting down his guitar, Tony wrapped his arms around Gibbs and kissed him. “And I love you.”


	11. Sunset For Two  (Epilogue)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Tony and Gibbs celebrate._

Tony smiled as he looked over at Gibbs, sound asleep in his seat as they were flying back to Colorado for their one-year anniversary. It had been a small battle to get Gibbs to agree to take time off, but Tony wanted to celebrate, and neither team had a heavy workload.

Tony and Dr. Grace had called out to the ranch to ask for help in scheduling the perfect anniversary vacation. For a donation of two thousand dollars, the ranch agreed to pick Tony and Gibbs up and return them to the airport, provide them with food for the week, and the loan of two horses, feed and tack during their stay. 

Tony had contacted the neighboring ranch where they had rented a private cabin for their honeymoon. He booked the cabin for a full week, and even reserved the chef to cook a gourmet steak meal for their anniversary dinner. 

Dr. Kroger met them when they arrived at the ranch, greeting them with a broad smile and a hug for each of them. “You guys look fantastic. I’m really glad you returned to celebrate your anniversary. It’s good to see you put a little weight back on, Gibbs.”

“Thanks, Doc,” Gibbs said simply as he picked up his bags. “Good to see you.”

“Thanks, Stan,” said Tony, as his eyes wandered around the parking lot. 

He saw several familiar faces, mostly wranglers, who stepped forward to say hello. Brent had a pack mule with him and loaded their gear, strapping it all down before covering it with a tarp.

“Is someone coming with us?” Tony asked when he noticed there were several items already packed up.

“I’ll ride out with you and help with the mule. The rest of it is the food you guys requested,” offered Brent.

Tony smiled. “I didn’t even think about how we were going to get all that to the cabin.”

“There’s a trick to loading the gear, but I’m happy to help you guys out.”

“Is that a guitar?” asked Tony.

“Yeah. Pete has a couple of them. He knew you played and offered to loan it to you while you’re here.”

“You guys are the best. I’m overwhelmed.”

As the group walked down to the stables, they heard the familiar low, rumbling nicker from Tambour, followed by the higher pitched whinny of Whisper.

“How have they been doing?” Gibbs asked.

“They’ve both been doing great,” Brent replied. “Tambour is used as a trail guide’s horse. Whisper has been used as a guide’s horse, or for advanced riders.”

“He looks a lot better.”

“He’s had over a year of good food and being treated right. You’re looking healthier, too.”

Nodding slowly, Gibbs smiled. “I’d forgotten how bad I must have looked when I arrived last year.” 

Tony patted Gibbs’ belly, “I managed to get him all fattened up.”

Gibbs gave both of the horses a quick pat on their necks and turned to Tony. “Which one do you want to ride?”

“Either one is fine. Take whichever you want.”

“I don’t care.”

Tony pulled a quarter out of his pocket and tossed it in the air. “Heads you take Tambour, tails you take Whisper.” A moment later, he said, “Tambour for you, Whisper for me.”

“Just don’t let him trap you on any mountain passes. He may try to knock you over the edge again,” Gibbs said with a smile.

Tony groaned and rolled his eyes, then pressed his cheek against Whisper’s. “I know it was an accident because you were frightened. But if we do get caught riding out in a storm, don’t be upset if I prefer to ride Tambour, okay?” 

The pair mounted up and followed Brent down the trail as they waved their goodbyes. Like the year before, it took a couple of hours on the trail before they arrived at the neighboring ranch’s rental office, where Gibbs went inside to register. It was another ten-minute ride to their isolated cabin. 

Once they arrived, they dismounted and both helped to carry in everything that Brent unpacked from the mule and handed to them. First, they set it all on the front porch. They thanked Brent for his help before hauling everything inside and stowing it. Much to their surprise, they returned outside to see that Brent had unsaddled Whisper and Tambour, and put them into the paddock. 

He was just mounting up, with the mule’s lead line tied to his saddle. “I’ll bring the mule back next Sunday morning to help pack up your gear. Let us know if you need anything. Just call out to the ranch.”

Once they were alone, Gibbs wrapped his arms around Tony and pulled him close. “I wanted to let you know that you’ve made me a better person, and happier than I’ve been for decades.”

Tony smiled and pulled a beer out of the refrigerator, poured it into a pair of champagne glasses and handed one to Gibbs. As he clinked the glasses together he said, “Happy anniversary, Jethro. I hope we have many more to celebrate together. Let’s go see if the hot tub is warmed up.”

“I didn’t pack a suit.”

“Neither did I. That didn’t stop us last time.”

Gibbs followed Tony out onto the deck where they both shed their clothing. Working together, they pulled the cover off of the hot tub and slipped into the warm, bubbly water.

After their soak in the tub, they both donned the provided robes and slippers before returning to the deck with a couple more bottles of beer in hand. They watched as the sun dropped lower in the sky, and changed from brilliant golden, to fiery orange before shifting into a dazzling rose and fading from view. 

Tambour and Whisper were in the paddock to the side of the cabin, munching on a bale of hay. 

“Maybe we can make this an annual event,” suggested Tony.

“I must confess,” Gibbs began, “when I was checking us in, I asked her to go ahead and reserve the cabin for us, for a week each year around our anniversary. She said she was happy to do that for us.”

Tony smiled broadly and cupped Gibbs’ chin with his palm before leaning in for a kiss. “You are by far the best husband I’ve ever had.”

“I’m hoping I’ll be your last one,” Gibbs teased. “You know how you used to aspire to take over the lead on the MCRT one day?”

“Yeah.”

“You realize you missed a great opportunity, right?”

“What’s that?”

“If you guys didn’t rescue us, I think you could have made a good case to take over the team.”

Tony shook his head. “Without you and Tim, it wouldn’t have been the same.”

Gibbs patted Tony’s knee. “Then I guess it’s a good thing you saved us.”

“I’m glad you returned the favor and pulled me up from that cliff.”

Gibbs took another sip of beer as they sat in the fading light. “Yeah, I guess we’re stuck with each other. Why don’t you grab that guitar and write us an anniversary song?”

“Only if you promise to help.”

03/31/2018

© 2018 by Jacie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the story!
> 
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> If you've enjoyed Rose's artwork that accompanies this story,   
> please be sure to leave her a comment here: https://ncis-bang.livejournal.com/65090.html 


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